jesus blogs

Scrabit : Need

Posted on by lainamunoz

G-d has taken me on a beautiful journey of being healed of anxiety, sometimes I have my hiccups but then I remember what He did on the cross was enough for me then, now and for the rest of my life. Coming to Aussie from America was one of the smoothest transitions I’ve had in my life which surprised me. I’m a little upset to admit how shocked I was that I was actually ok. But I am. G-d has been with me every step and thats a really remarkable thing.

Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday from November 2014 just before I came.

Love you all

“Those days will come when you cannot articulate what the matter might be, but there IS a matter. I feel it resting on my heart and making me wonder. It’s irritating me, not as dramatic as a thorn in my flesh, but it’s still pretty obnoxious. So I’m left completely at a loss as to how to explain my heart condition to even You. And, all the more irritating is that You know what the matter is. You already know and You wont tell me. Why? I cannot say I appreciate it, but here I am. You know my heart better so I guess for lack of me knowing what to do – You can deal with me accordingly. Here I am. If You will, use me in the process.“

Well, I tried to go to sleep over an hour ago but this has been literally sitting on my heart for almost a week and my anxiety kicked in tonight so sleeping isn’t happening. This is just about all I can think about, so I’m not sure if that makes this a prayer request or just a download, but here it is.
Recently I was able to catch up with a friend about life. One of her questions for me was about Australia and if I was ready and had everything I needed. Now, I leave in two months… (actually less but it’s easier to say two months) – I have a lot of things to sell or put in storage or give away, I have a lot of people to say “Hasta Luego!” to, and I don’t have all the finances I need while I’m gone. But her question comforted me rather than sending me down panic lane. I simply responded with,

“No, I don’t have everything I need while I’m done but I have everything I need for now”

I am taken care of. I don’t have what I need for tomorrow because, guess what? It’s still today.

But I woke up and was in no need for today. I had enough food, I had enough sleep, I had no bills I couldn’t pay, I had laundry to do that I had clean water for. Now, while those resources are temporary and once I used them they were no longer good for the same purpose… I HAD what I needed. I have this great big habit of being a worrier and stressing out over the plans. I had ALWAYS been pretty bad about trusting that things will simply work out. I want to know when we are leaving, how long the trip will take, I want to leave earlier than I have to because if I don’t I know I’ll hit traffic – and then I will be late. I want to know what will happen when I arrive and where I need to be and even when I have all of that information I’m stressed thinking about what’s coming. This has gotten better in my late(r) age; I’m comforted knowing that I don’t have to have all the details. A long time ago G-d reminded me that my walk with Him needs to be a daily waking up and realizing that I need Him. Now, I’m positive that I’m not the only one who He has reminded about this but it stuck out like a sore thumb to me and if I don’t try to remember so often then some of you lucky ones are left with a mid-panic Laina rambling on about things that don’t need to be stressed about.

I am held in His hands and because of that my fear of failure, my anxiety of the journey, my weight of worry that sits on my chest all gets a lot smaller. I was overwhelmed with assurance when I realized, “No, my plan ISN’T going how I saw it play out” ((EVER)) But, when I woke today and got through the day (quite well I might add) because I’m still His and He loves me.

“I don’t have everything I need while I’m gone, but I have everything I need for now.”

I’ve been overwhelmed with the support I’ve seen so far in sharing my story, honestly I started a gofundme account and wasn’t sure I’d really get that far with it. But, every time someone simply reads my story I’m thankful to G-d because of what He has done with me. I’m so very much not even close to “The End” of my story but I’m in awe of what He has done in and with my heart. Thank you isn’t enough to each of you who have said a prayer over me in the last 2 years but it’s what I know how to say. Please know though, my prayer for you, whoever may be reading this, no matter when you decide or are bored enough to do so, is that I would be a small part of your story. I want to learn from you and grow with you. I want to see a group of people so free from hurt and fear that they begin to boldly live out love in the way they’ve been given love. Even I’ll admit I sound a bit cheesy but I mean it with my whole being.

I crave freedom because I’ve seen so many glimpses of what boldness feels like. I  wouldn’t consider myself as someone who walks in boldness but G-d, how I want to be that person.

I remember being bold.

          “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Way to go Paul and Timothy, you’re better than us. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do al this through him who gives me strength.” Mmm, context is such a beautiful thing. (Phil 4.11-13) It’s not just that I can throw that last verse around and do anything I need to because I have this supernatural strength to call on. But, I’m going to learn how to live in every situation and I’m going to accomplish this by a strength that is now my own. Boom, I don’t have to be enough.

May I learn how to LIVE in every situation, G-d, may I learn how to REST when anxiety creeps up over ridiculous things. I’ve had all I could ever need at every point in my life and I’m YOUR kid so I expect nothing less than to have exactly what I need. Nothing more.

I have a great thought process on packing for trips… Once I leave, I’m done. IF I don’t have it in my bag it clearly didn’t make a big enough impact for me to remember so obviously I can live without it. Lord, I’m not condoning my forgetfulness, but, if I find myself awake, and I don’t have something help me to realize it might NOT be a need. If I needed it, I’d likely have it. You’ve been so good to me and you know whats up more than I do anyway.

So, chill my heart out, its’ doing that thing again.

The One Beautifully Broken

Posted on by lainamunoz

This scripture has been very much on my heart and mind this week. I have been in Acts and sharing with my housemate what I remembered writing around this (so naturally I found my writing from 2010 to post this week). G-d reminds me daily to be interruptible in my routine, even when I’m doing what I’m ‘supposed to’.

So I suppose you could say this is also what I’m currently (re)learning. Enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

One day Peter and John were going to the temple to pray.

One day Jesus was traveling to be about His father’s business.

One day I was weak and in need of healing.

The cripple was placed in the same spot by the same gate to beg. That’s all he could do was ask of others to cater to his needs. He was to the point of not being able to help himself – the man couldn’t walk. His ankles were weak. He asked for money. Peter and John looked at him “Look at us!” Peter said –

G-d, you have my attention – I’m weak and I’m put in the same place everyday to wait on others to give to me. Because I am weak, because I have nothing more I can do.  –  I believe the LORD of all creation asks us to look His way when we’re looking for help – G-d let my attention be on you.

The man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. I don’t believe he did this rudely or unwillingly… What are you expecting from G-d when He demands YOUR attention? ARE you expecting something from G-d when He calls you to attention?

Peter said… I have no money (even if he did I’m not sure he’d offer it to the cripple) “In the name of Jesus Christ” –

In the power of the Lamb
In the authority of the King
In the ability of the almighty

WALK

((G-d where are You trying to speak life into me?

Peter took him by the hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. – He began to walk.
Lord, what is it in me that you want to strengthen? In an INSTANT the man’s life was changed. In a second he was restored. Right away he was helped up and made STRONG to walk.

G-d you offer strength to your kids and many of us are crippled. Waiting by the gate paying no mind even to people willing to help. G-d if you’re trying to get our attention let us focus onYOU.

YOU tell us to rise
YOU cause us to walk
YOU give us full strength

G-d let us listen.

Acts 3:1-10

1″One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. 2 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” 7 Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. 8 He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. 9 When all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

Scrabit : Renew

Posted on by lainamunoz

Growth is a beautiful thing, I have no one but G-d to thank for increasing consistency in my life. Passion will take you far and people will push you forward but I actually have no idea how I’ve remained consistent this semester apart from Jesus actually just allowing me to speak and think and write and grow. I’m so thankful for the growing even when it’s painful and lacking in beauty. Jesus do what You will.

What do you do when things take longer than you expect?

What I am doing right now?

Right now I’m on a 30 day challenge that is taking me more than 30 days… sometimes a challenge turns more into an adventure and might just take 45 days, or maybe 60. But, the challenge is what will always be there; to create and produce and meditate and give 30 days of yourself.

If you’ve been following anything I’ve posted you’ll realize that I am not daily. I am an inconsistent person. I will never admit I’ve reached perfection and please never have that mindset for me. I am human. I will fail. I will be forgiven.

NOT because I’ve earned it but because G-d sees me as worth it.

So what then? I’m left feeling a little less of myself because I can’t be consistent with something I love doing anyway. But why am I doing this? Is it to have a month of scrabits* for people to read? Or is it to have a goal to set and make, no matter how getting there looks like?

I’m now in my 5th semester of college (my 5th semester of community college) my Junior year and I’m still finishing my associates because well… I stretched my 2 year challenge into a 3 year adventure. And quite frankly, I hated it for a while. Yet, I’m here for a reason. There is a reason I still walk the halls at the North East and Southeast campus and there in a reason I will be there for one more semester after this. It can get discouraging when you don’t exactly know the reason but knowing that G-d still has the master plan is quite a bit comforting.

The Israelites wandered the desert for 40 years waiting on their view to change. I don’t believe G-d is calling me to TCC for 40 years but while I’m still there I’ll be working on giving my art, on giving myself and on looking for the people who might need me. Or the ones I need.

I’m not sure much of what else this is other than a confirmation that I’m still in. Sometimes I think I just need to remind myself of that.

            … let the journey continue.

Psalms 51.10 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

*Scrabit – a blurb; a short document of developed or underdeveloped thoughts; a conglomeration and combobulation of random thoughts that have intentions of letting you know you’re not the only person who’s thought that way.

Shall We Dance?

Posted on by lainamunoz

Let’s begin todays post with the solid proven fact that: dancing is wonderful.

It is good for your heart and face. Try dancing without smiling, or at the very least laughing at how ridiculous you look. I’ve always been told I’m a natural at dancing (humble brag) – which I absolutely credit to the partners I’ve danced with. For New Years Eve 2014/2015 (seriously, which year do you write if its New Years Eve?) a group of us went swing dancing.

We learned the basics and were then let loose into this dance culture of being asked by anyone and everyone if we cared to dance (except Jason, who was mackin’ on ALL the older ladies). What amazed me is how well I could follow the seasoned dancers. And, not just because of my lightly latin’d blood but because it’s easy to follow good leaders.

It’s also easy to follow when you let go.

Dancing has a beautiful and unexplainable balance between structure and letting your body flow. Specifically swing dancing, the girls would have to hold their arms firm against the arm and shoulder of the men they were dancing with. Even in their resistance to keep form they were still leaning into the hold the men would have on their back to guide the direction and steps in which they would take.

Even in the resistance they were leaning in.

G-d has been speaking to me for a while about this thought of dancing – of joy. Before I left the US of A one of my friends spoke over me to a fear that I had of returning to the arms of G-d. He told me I was acting like the prodigal son, in that, I was walking back not only to G-d, but to His heart with a fear that the encounter would be confrontational… my friend reminded me that the encounter would be a dance – as if the moment when my heart was finally aligned with Christ it wouldn’t be this overwhelming, smothering hug but he saw me begin to dance perfectly in step with the Father and find the flow of structure and forward movements along with the beauty of being with a faithful, seasoned partner who I could just let go and follow.

I find swing dancing to be one of the most beautiful dances that the dancers can dance – but, I’m a sucker for dances that require two. It’s been a while that G-d has been inviting me by different means to dance with Him; to allow myself to learn His steps and trust that where HE guides me will be beautiful. I didn’t grow up dancing or really have any formal training but it IS something that I enjoy and I think G-d knows that. I think He knows what speaks to my heart because He formed my heart. He knows that a large part of me dancing with Him was full of my healing. It was full of me coming home.

I was recently introduced to a song and more importantly I was introduced to a story of healing. I watched this woman’s story as I was walking on a treadmill at the gym and began to cry. G-d reminded me of all the times He asked me to dance with Him while I was healing, little did I know that He was offering me the strength to receive joy, hope and peace. Her name was Amanda, she suffered with an illness that left her in a wheelchair and only in the house of G-d and in worship was she able to find herself strong enough to just praise. In her moments in church and in the presence of G-d she found healing and hope, she found her step and began to dance with the Father and what a beautiful thing her story is!

One of the things that this wonderful woman said that, “Dancing was everything that being bed bound wasn’t” – Dancing represented to her nothing that her sickness knew. Freedom, joy, love, a smile, strength, laughter and peace. Dancing with Christ is everything that hopelessness wasn’t. Dancing with the Father is everything that depression can never take away. Dancing and learning the steps of G-d is something that confusion can never take ahold of. Dancing with the Saviour is something that death can never challenge. Healing is found when we dance with G-d. In many more ways than one.

“Now hope is a much easier thing because I’ve seen G-d come through… because I know how faithful G-d is.”

It’s unreal how many times I’ve seen Jesus come through for me. It’s unfair how many times He has invited me to dance with Him and I’ve turned Him down. But, His forgiveness is sweet and His love is big.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FPUFx3EPw0 – The Story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSi3jEXU3Zg – The Song

18 Years Old… Dang

Posted on by lainamunoz

News: I sometimes forget what I prayed for and then get surprised by the seasons that I walk through when they’re exactly what I prayed for. But it’s good to go back and remember.

In other news: Stay tuned tomorrow for a #DoubleFeatureFriday with a Conference debrief and life update.

Jesus Bless you all!

G-d,
don’t let me be the one to stand in my way of Your future for me.
I have no idea where I’m supposed to go without You.
I don’t expect to be anything without You.
I know that I am the only thing to limit what You have for me.
So G-d,
Push me out of the way and override my spirit.
Take full control because I can’t do anything better than what You have.

I can’t dream bigger than what You have.

I refuse to live apart from who You want me to be.

Let me stand in the way no longer.
Let me be fully surrendered to You.
I never want to look back.
I never want to wish my life had gone a different way.
I never want to cry myself to sleep from loneliness or hurt.

G-d,

Don’t let me be offended easily.

Don’t let me be weary when I feel like I’m the only one.
Push me out of the way G-d.
Take my life and leave me with no control.
It’s yours G-d.
My future.
My present.
My heart.
My dreams.
My aspirations.
My fears.
G-d I can’t keep any of it for myself.
Use it ALL Lord.
-LJ

:: Take my hand, I give it to you.
:: Now YOU own me. All I am.
:: You said you would NEVER leave me.
:: I believe YOU
:: I believe.

//Your Position Is Replaceable, You Are Not\\

Posted on by lainamunoz

I’ve had the wonderful journey of working in the food and service industry for 9 years out of my life. In the time that I worked I can honestly remember calling into work twice when I was really sick, I probably showed up way too many times when I was too sick to be working and any other time I couldn’t work I would get my shift covered. There was a small part of me when I left my first job that wanted the place to fall to the ground (cue Taylor Swift “Bad Blood” in the background). I wanted to think I was the reason that establishment was standing or that maybe they would miss me when I’m gone. I’ve had a lot of moments in my life when I have the humbling realization that I’m not the stuff.

I’m actually just me.

But me can be pretty great.

You see, in food service a lot of us think we are the reason the shift runs smoothly, which is comical now that I’ve been on the scheduling side of things as well. Working in section “B” on a Friday night shift doesn’t mean you’re the best at what you do, it honestly means you are a body and there needs to be a body, somebody, anybody in that section. And if you never came along somebody would be in that spot.

I was recently chatting with someone about leadership here at Hillsong International LEADERSHIP College and what I found was this: Anyone can fill a role. This is awesome. I’m actually so thankful. One of the mornings I was scheduled for serving at Sisterhood I was really sick, like get up and walk around and feel like I was going to lose everything I even thought about eating the day before so I called who I needed to call to let them know their star host wouldn’t be there (if you haven’t figured out my snark yet please understand I don’t think I’m actually the best host there is.

Actually, I still haven’t figured out what I’m doing))

I then slept in my bed for the rest of the afternoon.

While it is a tad inconvenient to not have the people you planned to be there turn up – there is still a fix. You shift people and fill the roles and make it work. I don’t have to turn up to anything; my role is replaceable, however I am not. It isn’t a matter of me doing the task assigned, it’s a matter of my person, my heart, what I’ve walked through, what I have to give that is uniquely mine and if I don’t turn up and rock out my roll then I will never cross paths with the people G-d might be wanting me to speak to or receive something from. He might have someone that needs to be loved the way I understand how to give love, He may need me to give my smile to someone who is having a bad day or my heart to someone who needs whatever it is G-d has placed over me. I might need that message for this season or week. I may be blessed tremendously by serving the wonderful women of Sisterhood (that always happens without fail).

Positions and leadership come and go but my character and heart are the things I’m allowing to fill those rolls. I’ve been challenged over and over by G-d this semester to do well with what is in my hands now. Why is this so important? Because He placed  (Whatever I have the opportunity to do) IN MY HANDS. No one else owns the little hands that I do and they are attached to no one else’s body. Which means no one else’s mind can control the things I play, write, hold, break or build.

What I’ve walked through has formed who I am and G-d has refined that person, and is STILL refining that person. No one else can offer what I can and no one else can offer what YOU can. You have an impact and a light that you carry that is uniquely yours. I don’t know HOW G-d created all the different people that there are or the insane dynamic of characters there are but shoot, He did a great job. I always take a look at my house and the amazing women I live with… we are SO different but all have something to contribute to one another and to the people we surround ourselves with. No one else can add any more or less than what they have. If it wasn’t Krysia or Evelin or Reema living in the rooms that they do then another body would fill that position… but it wouldn’t be THEM.

Whatever role you do or don’t have,

whatever team you lead or serve on,

whoever you are trying to be.

Be you, be there. No one else can.

Scrabit : Art

Posted on by lainamunoz

October 2010- what a day today has been… please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

“Most artists can’t draw, but all artists can see.” – Roy Simmons

“Go and tell this people: “‘Listen hard, but you aren’t going to get it; look hard, but you won’t catch on.’ Make these people blockheads, with fingers in their ears and blindfolds on their eyes, So they won’t see a thing, won’t hear a word, So they won’t have a clue about what’s going on and, yes, so they won’t turn around and be made whole.”
                  -Isaiah 6.9-10

It seems like G-d might have wanted us to understand something here: Art isn’t just about ability; it’s about seeing what needs to change and creating something that can make a difference. G-d’s art is to make us whole through giving us the vision to see what needs to change.

I was reading a delightfully short book by Seth Godin called Graceful where he took a full section to talk about Art. He defines art as this: “Art is anything that’s creative, passionate and personal… Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.”

G-d’s art is revealed in the everyday continuation of what He started long ago. Genesis 1.1 “First this: G-d created the Heavens and Earth – all you see, all you don’t see”

G-d was the original creator and the only one by which we may LEARN what He wants to do with our lives. The beauty of His art is that there is still life yet to be revealed. Some things in creation we are still waiting on, there are things and colors in heaven that we still haven’t experienced – and I cannot wait. He set the heavens in place, His majesty is seen in all there is and He holds my heart and molds in everyday into something reflecting Him.

G-d is a passionate G-d, He is a compassionate G-d, a G-d who thinks about us and has purpose for us.

He is a wonderful, powerful master who sees us in the state we are in and calls us His.

He is a personal G-d who cared so much about the people He created that He sent His one perfect thing He had left – His son so that He might be reunited with us.

I can’t help but think through a few things…

1.   Are you letting G-d’s art CHANGE you? When was the last time you admired the sunrise or sunset and couldn’t focus cause the presence of G-d was so thick through your thoughts that you broke out in praise with your entire being?

2.   Are you letting G-d direct your art that He has for you? Some of you have read these posts and thought, “oh that’s nice, but I don’t have art to give”… how selfish. You have a gift that only you can give, you have an art that only you can perfect FOR HIM and you don’t care enough to search it out? Maybe it doesn’t look like messy hands from painting, or like a keyboard to type stories into. Maybe it looks like buying a bag of food a day and driving until you see someone who might need it? Maybe it looks like having a conversation everyday in which you remind someone of how much they mean to you? Possibly you could take 30 days to spend time getting better at listening to G-d? Maybe G-d has given you a heart for missions but you’re in a different season where you can’t leave yet – What if you were to passionately pray for a different location or people group for 30 days? What if you were to check up on the area to see what G-d was doing with your prayers?

“The more people you change, the more you change them, the more effective your art is… If there is no change, there is no art. IF no one experiences it, there can be no change.” –Graceful

((What has changed around you lately?

((((Have you inspired the change?

Continue On

Posted on by lainamunoz

Life update.

I think there are loads of things in my life that I sit back and ask,

“Why am I still doing this?”

Writing is one of those.

Writing is hard.

This is week 16 and more than ever I feel more like spam rather than anything useful for anyone. Then I think to myself, “Well Laina, this isn’t about THEM ((whoever them is)) this is about the fact that you felt really strongly about the calling to be faithful with your writing so that G-d could teach you a few things about yourself (ugh, there G-d goes bringing that into this)”

((Faithfulness is hard))

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-3
“Endure hardship as discipline; G-d is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciple – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”
Hebrews 12:7-8
I know this is heavily influenced by the Think Back Thursday but it’s absolutely where I’m at with life right now AND what my week has been focused on

Lets stroll here for a little bit. Consider it JOY when you face trials. I had to ask this question to myself several times recently, “am I viewing trials as an opportunity to grow, am I finding joy knowing that I’m learning perseverance?” At first the answer was a hard “No” followed by “Laina what the heck are you doing with your life?” and then it was a “yeah, sometimes I think I get that” and now it’s a daily battle of having little to no passion behind a lot of the things I feel called to do because it’s just been a long season and its not always easy to hold only what you thought you knew.

What I do know to be true is the active Word of G-d. ‘you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance… and let that finish so that you might be mature and complete, not lacking anything’ G-d I don’t want to lack so help my views change on what I’m walking through. You’re teaching me how to be a child I just need to sit and listen.

Why writing is hard:

It’s time consuming – which isn’t as big of a deal right now because all my assessments are in and competent (humble brag) but it requires focused time and time to process which sometimes I struggle with.

Its personal – sharing is hard. Partly because sometimes I don’t want to admit to myself where I am and the other bit would be because I, as an author, don’t want to bore you with something that isn’t useful. Actually, I’d love to accomplish the opposite. I want people to feel like they can be a little bit more of a person when they read what I write. I want them to fall more in love with Jesus or meet Him for the first time. I want people to laugh when they catch up on my dry humor. And I want to constantly be getting better both at storytelling and writing real gud.

It’s not always read – hmm… which brings me back to faithfulness. I felt like this was something G-d wanted to work on in my life was sticking to commitments if no one reads it or not, now that I think about it that’s pretty funny since I typically write in a journal daily anyway but this is more along the lines of editing and cleaning up the thought process and publishing something I’d be proud of. Come Fridays that doesn’t always happen but I also enjoy looking back and seeing how much I’ve grown so the weak posts are welcome as well. Feeling awkward about my work is alright.

You don’t always have something awesome to say – You have no idea how badly I want to be sharing these ridiculous, life-changing revelations that Christ has shown me throughout the weeks but sometimes I’m too stubborn to sit and listen and I don’t get them. I want to be a good author and I’m still learning what that means. Sometimes, (and PLEASE do correct me if I’m wrong, seriously, I’d love to know if I’m the only one who thinks this way), I think it has more to do with consistency and the subtle changes for the better than always having content that will bring the reader to tears and make them do that next thing that they haven’t been brave enough to do yet. Maybe I’ll get there, but for now I’m learning a lot about sitting, thinking, writing and rewriting.

‘Let perseverance finish its work in you so that you will be complete and mature, not lacking anything.’

I’m clearly not mature yet. But, G-d is good at reminding me of who He IS creating me to be. Faithfulness and Loyalty are some of the most important things in the world to me and in the last two weeks or so G-d has used a few different people to remind me that HE sees me as faithful… I truly believe that’s not just the early mornings with Him but sometimes I like to think it’s the continuing to do the things that I currently don’t find awesome.

Continue on.

Scrabit : Raw : A Psalm of Sorts

Posted on by lainamunoz

Today’s #ThinkBackThursday is brought to you by the year 2010 and the color red

He’s faithful to my heart.

Glory to the righteous one.

G-d, I’m not sure how to get everything or anything in words.

I hurt and you heal… That’s just how it’s always been. Lord, You’ve always been there for me even after all the selfish mistakes I’ve made. You are a forgiving G-d. I don’t know why life take turns and makes you go down paths that you have never even come across. I don’t know why I feel this need inside me to make sure someone is there with me holding my hand. It doesn’t make sense if I knew that I’d have to trust you through this one. Then why is it hard? Why do I constantly have to fight the pain of it all?

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves.” – James 1.2-6

((Are you kidding me G-d?       ………a gift?

So what then? It’s time to live out our faith. G-d knows what He is doing even when we are in the middle of a storm. The only thing I can gather from this portion of my love letter is to stick it out. G-d, sometimes I don’t want to, so I guess I’ll have to choose again today to trust You with it.

Dear Father, I don’t know what I’m doing, help my heart to calm down and not worry about my life. I don’t want to be flaky but I want to be taught by the master how to be faithful.

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. 34“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

– Matthew 6.33-34

Command: Don’t worry about missing out.

Promise: You’ll find ALL your everyday human concerts will be met.

Lord, help me trust YOUR timing… and help my heart to understand when my brain is the only thing that knows what is right.

Dead Man, Wake

Posted on by lainamunoz

I wrote this sometime around 18 years old – The majority of it is scripture and what the Word was speaking to me at the time. I hope you enjoy the read!

You know those portions of scripture that stand out and slap you in the face SEVERAL times before they finally decide to sit down?

G-d word – His scripture is:

“G-d-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correction and training in righteousness,

(O.K. children, lets finish the sentence)

so that the man of G-d may be thoroughly equipped for every GOOD WORK.”

(2 Timothy 3.16-17) Don’t you dare take that out of context.
Now that we have that down…

(I’ll just go ahead and say this, if you’re not willing to SEARCH the scriptures and read it with an open mind to G-d… don’t even bother to continue to read. I’d be insulted for my G-d’s sake if you kept reading.)

John 11.1-44
“The Death of Lazarus
1Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.

(WHOLE DIFFERENT SCRABIT I COULD GET ON)

3So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
4When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” 5Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.
7Then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
8“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?”
9Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world’s light. 10It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light.”
11After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
12His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” 13Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
14So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, 15and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

((I have to know that I can only be joyful when your faith in G-d is dependant on Him and not on anything that I could do. I have to know that G-d is higher than me in ALL ways, and that for you to have a personal relationship with Him is far more important than you thinking that I’m ANYTHING in the kingdom. I am broken and frayed; I am an ever-reaching human who will only ever strive to see my full potential. I only by G-d’s grace and mercy am able to see the light of each passing day, and given opportunities in those days to see the glory of G-d work through someone like me. I DON’T understand a G-d who loves me that much that He would allow me to take apart of His plan. But In G-d I Trust and In G-d I WILL Live.))

16Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
Jesus Comforts the Sisters
17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.18Bethany was less than two miles[a] from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
23Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
24Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
25Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?“

((Sometimes we have to ask ourselves… “Do you believe your Bible?” Legitimately, what are you looking for when you check off your chapter-a-day? What do you expect G-d to open your eyes to as you read? What are you seeking? Are you seeking or is it just your Christian-Cookie-Count that you need to keep up?))

((Jesus said,, “I AM”))

27“Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ,[b] the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”
28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him.

((G-d, be our teacher. YHVH be our guide when we don’t know which way to go… Martha realized who she was with, she told Mary that the TEACHER IS HERE AND IS ASKING FOR YOU… Mary got up quickly and went to Him! G-d is looking for people to equip, He wants to see His children respond quickly to Him and listen to His instructions… When the teacher is looking for YOU will you go out and meet Him? Will you find exactly what He needs you to do and put actions to what you KNOW He is asking of you?)) ((This is about where the scripture decided it wasn’t done with me yet… G-d is looking for me… G-d is looking for you. Will you respond?))

30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34“Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35Jesus wept.

((Jesus was moved to such compassion over His dead friend that He cried. The savior of the world wept over His friend that He knew had to go through death. “G-d has a deep, emotional and sympathetic love for you and others” – Firebible note 11.35))

36Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
37But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead
38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb.

((Jesus was moved to the place where Lazarus was laid… His compassion led Him to the place where others left him for dead. Jesus came to my tomb… Jesus wept when I had to die (spiritually) because I simply wouldn’t believe. I didn’t understand, or didn’t care. I let myself become sick and for the glory of G-d, His timing came perfect. He showed His compassion and power through the resurrection of Lazarus… He came to the tomb where everyone else just claimed he had no life left inside of him. Jesus was deeply moved, for me, and came to my tomb when no one else believed I had anything to live for.))

It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39“Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
40Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?“

((No, just… WOW))

41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44The dead man came out,

((Is G-d calling the dead out of you? All of the times that you just want someone to believe in you, He is there calling you out of the place where no one else was willing to go. Truth is all of us are dead in some way or another. All of us have come to the brink of utter ruin, but only then do we see the master coming to where we were laid and given up on by men. Only there will we see the King of all kings come and weep before us because He so wants us to be alive. G-d so desperately wants us to be actively pursuing His will for our lives because it is greater than anything we could imagine. YHVH, you own us. Only you can call us from the dead and give us new life… Take off the grave clothes and let us go))

his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

((What are the old things that are covering you? Take off your grave clothes and lets see this new life G-d has called us to. Let us truly understand His compassion over us, His love over us, His calling over us. G-d, be in us, work through us FOR YOUR GLORY… if it’s not You, G-d, we don’t want it. Set us free with a new spirit. Call us out of the grave… YHVH even if it has been days, weeks, months, years that we have wasted in the grave… Let us be new.

Let us be yours. G-d, have compassion over your kids…

“Take back the years the enemy’s stolen…”