When I Consider Your Heavens…

Posted on by lainamunoz

G-d has taught me a lot since my 18th year here on earth. But what He does for me still blows my mind and makes it hard to do anything but praise.

May I always sing Your praise

Enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

23 July 2009

As much as I want to tell you how excited I am about You… I must admit that I feel inadequate to sing most of the time. I start praying and I feel like I’m stopped abruptly with thoughts of “you’re not worthy to praise Him. Nothing you could offer would repay”
While that is completely true, it seems as though you still accept everything I have to say to you. Why you take time to listen? Shoot, I’ll never know.

Psalms 8.3-5
“When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.”

Shoot guys, did you catch that? G-d made us right under heavenly beings… like… you got G-d and Jesus and the trinity…. Heavenly beings… Then us?
Seriously? Why?

All I know is G-d is good…. and if that’s how He says it’s going down, you better take it and run with it.

I guess my mind is just blown right now so I’m not sure if you needed to read this… but I needed to write it.

((Hey, maybe someday when you really need it… it’ll be sitting here.

Why I Want To Be A Writer

Posted on by lainamunoz

Writing has always been a way of processing for me, I get to think through whats going on with my life and download it honestly to my paper without too much harsh judgement (though I’m a pretty bad critic when I’m reading my own stuff). But there is a huge difference between writing and being a writer.

I’m still learning how to be a writer (and then the adventure is to be a GOOD WRITER) but some of the reasons I’m even trying is that:

1) I’m 24 – which is pretty much the peak of all wisdom and opinions. You have learned a lot by this age and have the boldness to share what you’ve learnt but lack the stupidity of when you were 18 and just didn’t know the appropriate times to share your wealth of wisdom. In reality though, I am probably the most aware of how much I have to wake up and tell G-d that I need Him because I don’t know what I’m doing without him. But I DO think we have pretty good opinions.

2) I’m going to be old some day – I was riding home on the bus from the city and saw this beautiful old woman in a dark blue coat sitting there. She had a bandage on the back of her hand and was carefully putting on her black leather gloves. She didn’t seem like she could be bothered with anything going on or the traffic that we were sitting in and all I could think about is if she was a writer. If she was some classy old woman who had loads of stories that she was just dying to share or if she didn’t think too often about leaving her history with the world that she was closer to leaving than myself. All I know is that I looked at her and saw some classy old lady who I desperately wished was a writer. So, instead I’m going to be a writer. And by the time I’m her age my goal is to write more books than Joyce Meyer 🙂 wishful thinking.

3) I love reading – leaders are readers. I have had many books shape the way I have seen Christianity, Christ, The Bible, Adventure, Love and the Warrior heart within us (see below for a list of books that I think are awesome). These books have molded me into a sharper thinker and a thankful human being. They’ve pushed me to grow and expand my way of thinking and brought me closer to the heartbeat of Jesus. I want to give the same feeling of finishing a book and being called to an adventure so I’m probably going to keep writing and praying that G-d does something with that.

4) It’s what I want to do – it’s pretty simple guys. I’ve wanted to write a book for a while. Gotta start somewhere.

But, I suppose finally it has to do with the fact that it’s who I was created to be. G-d knew from the beginning that I’d love words and books and I think through that He gave me a strong conviction with words. I like to keep silent unless I have something I need to say and I like to think through that something if I think I should really say it. The largest compliment my heart can receive is that I communicate well. And the biggest accomplishment I plan on achieving in the next three years is graduation college and signing my first printed book to give my parents for Christmas.

Find what you love to do. These were just my thoughts for the day.

((Laina’s list of awesome books that she thinks is awesome))
Scouting the Divine – Margaret Feinberg
The Barbarian Way; Artisan Soul; Uprising; Soul Cravings – Erwin Raphel McMannus (probably my favourite author)
Closer Still – Scott Evans
Radical – David Platt
The Sacred Romance; Epic – John Eldredge
In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day – Mark Batterson
Outliers: The Story of Success – Malcom Gladwell
((These are just a very few))

18 Years Old… Dang

Posted on by lainamunoz

News: I sometimes forget what I prayed for and then get surprised by the seasons that I walk through when they’re exactly what I prayed for. But it’s good to go back and remember.

In other news: Stay tuned tomorrow for a #DoubleFeatureFriday with a Conference debrief and life update.

Jesus Bless you all!

G-d,
don’t let me be the one to stand in my way of Your future for me.
I have no idea where I’m supposed to go without You.
I don’t expect to be anything without You.
I know that I am the only thing to limit what You have for me.
So G-d,
Push me out of the way and override my spirit.
Take full control because I can’t do anything better than what You have.

I can’t dream bigger than what You have.

I refuse to live apart from who You want me to be.

Let me stand in the way no longer.
Let me be fully surrendered to You.
I never want to look back.
I never want to wish my life had gone a different way.
I never want to cry myself to sleep from loneliness or hurt.

G-d,

Don’t let me be offended easily.

Don’t let me be weary when I feel like I’m the only one.
Push me out of the way G-d.
Take my life and leave me with no control.
It’s yours G-d.
My future.
My present.
My heart.
My dreams.
My aspirations.
My fears.
G-d I can’t keep any of it for myself.
Use it ALL Lord.
-LJ

:: Take my hand, I give it to you.
:: Now YOU own me. All I am.
:: You said you would NEVER leave me.
:: I believe YOU
:: I believe.

Hillsong Conference 2015

Posted on by lainamunoz

I won’t go until You bless me.

Coming soon


pardon me while I bump out and process. 

It’s hard to talk about anything other than this last week, there is so much to think through and process and just meditate on. So… a few blips that I learned this week:

  • Pastor Brian – “There is power in our words, when we confess the great things G-d has done and what He is going to do – things happen. Faith has a tone and a sound so confess good, speak life.” Have conviction in your words “Does G-d give you His spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard? Galatians 3:5
    What are you confessing? What am I confession? What am I believing for? I’m believing that G-d will do what He said He would and surprise me and take care of me and provide when I don’t know how and do unusual miracles and heal my heart. What am I confessing? I’ll take Joseph Princes’ words and say, “I am the righteousness of G-d through Christ Jesus” and reminding myself that I have worth and that I serve a G-d of abundance so not only do I have enough, I have more than enough. He sees me as more than enough. If you aren’t speaking life, change your confession. Is my confession the same of Christ?
    “Line up your confession with the Word of G-d”
  • Pastor Someone-Who-Spoke-At-Conference – “Until you get comfortable with silence you will never hear the voice of G-d… Stop waiting for a voice and start looking for a verse”
    I’ve known these thoughts for a while, it’s just becoming even more apparent that my season is going to need some serious alone and focused time. Time disconnected and silent before G-d. He has things to tell me. Do I ever disconnect long enough?

    I heard this as I was walking through the hallway at conference turning in attendance and getting my second breakfast, I missed that morning session but was still praying that G-d would say something to me. He told me that I need to learn the silence, which is terrifying for me and something that He’s brought up with me before I just still suck at it. It’s just becoming more and more obvious that I need to sit and wait and sit more.

    Just sit

  • Pastor Joseph Prince – “G-d is not unrighteous to forget your hard work and labor of love”

    that was just good. G-d sees you. He hasn’t forgotten about you.

Honestly, G-d just keeps uprooting stuff in my life to clean out and reminding me of passions that I’ve had longer than I realized and promises He’s made that I can’t let go of. Conference was long and rewarding and tiring and beautifully refreshing. I think it was another one of those times I wish I could just sit down with each of you and a cup of coffee at Shades of Brown in Tulsa, Oklahoma and ramble. And the other half of me is still trying to understand what G-d is doing. Le Sigh.

((Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to love people and learn more about you

Responsible

Posted on by lainamunoz

Pardon my hardly edited post… we are in the end of Hillsong Conference for this year and I need to get to bed… but I’m still reminded of commitments that I’ve made and a calling I have. So enjoy this old writing on this fine #ThinkBackThursday

I am responsible for my own actions and I will be judged according to the choices I make. In two days, it marks the 1 year of when I started the 30 day challenge and I’ve often thought of writing different things to finish but never got around to it. Sometimes the hardest thing is finishing. But even before you finish, taking responsibility for the things you were supposed to or committed to do.
My creativity, my art (if only for G-d to teach me, and even if you get nothing out of me publicly posting it) is to write and in 365 days I’ve put up 28 pieces. 29 if you count this one I’m writing. I don’t feel a need to apologize to you because I never promised you that I’d write. I feel like for one of the few times my life I’ve realized the importance of telling G-d “I blew it” I made a commitment to be better by tracking growth and letting Him inspire me and I let myself get to busy.
So, if this has nothing to do with you and this is all, “my bad” why post it?
Accountability. Encouragement. Correction.
My responsibility is to own my mistakes and confess them, though I’ve only sinned against myself and G-d by breaking a commitment it is now (because you’ve read this) your responsibility (or option depending on how much you care I suppose) to pray for me.

James.5
13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Maybe you don’t think there is much to pray for. You don’t want to go to G-d with one of those, “uh, help Laina… Um finish her posts? Cause I guess she wants to”
But it’s not about that. In the little things we develop habits. Breaking a commitment here and there turns into a lifestyle. I wish I would finally commit to exercising on a consistent basis, to budgeting and making a priority of saving, to writing songs, writing thoughts, to letting G-d change me constantly to be more like him, to thanking Him for his mercies and everything He’s given me.
I’m a spoiled girl.

Sigh

Mind you, a lot of these posts are me thinking out loud. And to be taken “general” by the public. I guess what I’m saying is don’t try to become my accountability partner just because you read this. I’m more guarded and wise then to let just anyone pour into me or know everything about me. But. I guess if you can find something in here that makes sense to you, great. If I’m just posting this to own my…. lack of responsibility. Then let it be. Let me grow and if you think fit to bring me before the creator in prayer. I’d appreciate it.

Me, Myself, Martha and Mary

Posted on by lainamunoz

Real Talk

It’s always Real Talk

I swear I re-write these like a billion times.

I have such a Martha heart sometimes. I don’t believe by any means that we are saved by works, or by what we accomplish but I sure keep myself busy instead of sitting at the Fathers feet sometimes. I always think it’s a novel idea to sit and listen but then struggle with feeling lazy. It’s one of the many mindset changes I’ve been praying for this semester in school… To not have the attitude of Martha who was upset when her sister wasn’t just as busy ‘doing’ as she was. I don’t want to live distracted. I couldn’t imagine that getting to the end of your life could be worse than not even realizing you didn’t live because you were busy being distracted.

I want to worship and commune with Jesus – I’m just highly distractible and move around way too much and phone way too much and mindlessly interwebs way too much.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

I had a day at home over this week and realized how much time I had to just sit with Jesus, and I was really excited about it. I thought to myself, “dang, I can get so much reading and writing and revelating (not a real word) done today! How awesome will that be?!” and then I cleaned the kitchen, and my room, and vacuumed and watched YouTube. We all get busy either from jobs or from life but we don’t all have to get cluttered. You know, the unnecessary amounts of things that we do that aren’t entirely productive. I’ve always been like that though, too busy to think clearly. It’s slowing down and breathing that I’m not good at.

Hillsong Conferences’ theme is “Speak: We’re Listening” which couldn’t be more seasonal for me. So naturally I’m expecting a lot. But a large part of this for me is going to be learning how to sit at Jesus’ feet and take in and listen to what he is saying. I think it’s really easy to get distracted with the preparations and at that, the things that really do HAVE to get done. But what is better? What is needed?

Just one thing. 

Mary chose what was better. There is nothing else. There is no time more valuably and costly spent than time with Jesus. Not only that, but Jesus told Martha that it wouldn’t be taken away from her. All the time she used wasn’t wasted and it wasn’t going to be removed. It wasn’t a lack in her life but it was the best decision she could have made. Time with G-d can’t come back void. I believe I’ve written about that before or if I haven’t now I have. If you’ve had a RealTalkTuesday with me lately I’m sure I’ve preached that to you. It’s something I absolutely need to hold onto right now. Even when I don’t see or feel the change I need to believe it.

((Honestly, I just have a lot to learn.))

Drift\\

Posted on by lainamunoz

Sometimes I feel like I repeat seasons, and I can’t even get upset about it because it’s really funny. I’ve for sure felt like this over the last few months with writing. It seems like now that I’ve made a commitment to have something to say, I have nothing to say – at least nothing of any significance. But my prayer is that it is seasonal and that when you read it you ARE encouraged, challenged, and feel loved. It doesn’t have to be the best because it probably wont be but, it will be my best. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday from my 20th year of life.

I hate feeling distant from G-d, I hate second guessing if He hears me. Ever since I decided to do this “30 days of creativity” it seems like I’ve been the most… un-in-tune with my Savior that I have been in a while. I feel like since I promised not to live watered-down and be honest that G-d has found out how to make me learn in every situation. I’m not much for filters – by that I mean I stink at keeping them on. So, generally, what I’m thinking comes out. I’m not thrilled when I have to lead a family group, or a worship set, or a Sunday school lesson feeling like I’m living in the wrong. Have I talked to G-d about all the junk I’m feeling? Yes.

Do I understand why it’s still there after?

No. Not at all.

“We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”  -Hebrews 2.1

Attention is hard to give when it is being demanded in so many places. But obviously, G-d knew the important places it should be given.

((So G-d, help me. Help my attention to shift cause if I am or not, I HATE feeling like I’m drifting. You have more for me than this.

//Your Position Is Replaceable, You Are Not\\

Posted on by lainamunoz

I’ve had the wonderful journey of working in the food and service industry for 9 years out of my life. In the time that I worked I can honestly remember calling into work twice when I was really sick, I probably showed up way too many times when I was too sick to be working and any other time I couldn’t work I would get my shift covered. There was a small part of me when I left my first job that wanted the place to fall to the ground (cue Taylor Swift “Bad Blood” in the background). I wanted to think I was the reason that establishment was standing or that maybe they would miss me when I’m gone. I’ve had a lot of moments in my life when I have the humbling realization that I’m not the stuff.

I’m actually just me.

But me can be pretty great.

You see, in food service a lot of us think we are the reason the shift runs smoothly, which is comical now that I’ve been on the scheduling side of things as well. Working in section “B” on a Friday night shift doesn’t mean you’re the best at what you do, it honestly means you are a body and there needs to be a body, somebody, anybody in that section. And if you never came along somebody would be in that spot.

I was recently chatting with someone about leadership here at Hillsong International LEADERSHIP College and what I found was this: Anyone can fill a role. This is awesome. I’m actually so thankful. One of the mornings I was scheduled for serving at Sisterhood I was really sick, like get up and walk around and feel like I was going to lose everything I even thought about eating the day before so I called who I needed to call to let them know their star host wouldn’t be there (if you haven’t figured out my snark yet please understand I don’t think I’m actually the best host there is.

Actually, I still haven’t figured out what I’m doing))

I then slept in my bed for the rest of the afternoon.

While it is a tad inconvenient to not have the people you planned to be there turn up – there is still a fix. You shift people and fill the roles and make it work. I don’t have to turn up to anything; my role is replaceable, however I am not. It isn’t a matter of me doing the task assigned, it’s a matter of my person, my heart, what I’ve walked through, what I have to give that is uniquely mine and if I don’t turn up and rock out my roll then I will never cross paths with the people G-d might be wanting me to speak to or receive something from. He might have someone that needs to be loved the way I understand how to give love, He may need me to give my smile to someone who is having a bad day or my heart to someone who needs whatever it is G-d has placed over me. I might need that message for this season or week. I may be blessed tremendously by serving the wonderful women of Sisterhood (that always happens without fail).

Positions and leadership come and go but my character and heart are the things I’m allowing to fill those rolls. I’ve been challenged over and over by G-d this semester to do well with what is in my hands now. Why is this so important? Because He placed  (Whatever I have the opportunity to do) IN MY HANDS. No one else owns the little hands that I do and they are attached to no one else’s body. Which means no one else’s mind can control the things I play, write, hold, break or build.

What I’ve walked through has formed who I am and G-d has refined that person, and is STILL refining that person. No one else can offer what I can and no one else can offer what YOU can. You have an impact and a light that you carry that is uniquely yours. I don’t know HOW G-d created all the different people that there are or the insane dynamic of characters there are but shoot, He did a great job. I always take a look at my house and the amazing women I live with… we are SO different but all have something to contribute to one another and to the people we surround ourselves with. No one else can add any more or less than what they have. If it wasn’t Krysia or Evelin or Reema living in the rooms that they do then another body would fill that position… but it wouldn’t be THEM.

Whatever role you do or don’t have,

whatever team you lead or serve on,

whoever you are trying to be.

Be you, be there. No one else can.

Scrabit : Art

Posted on by lainamunoz

October 2010- what a day today has been… please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

“Most artists can’t draw, but all artists can see.” – Roy Simmons

“Go and tell this people: “‘Listen hard, but you aren’t going to get it; look hard, but you won’t catch on.’ Make these people blockheads, with fingers in their ears and blindfolds on their eyes, So they won’t see a thing, won’t hear a word, So they won’t have a clue about what’s going on and, yes, so they won’t turn around and be made whole.”
                  -Isaiah 6.9-10

It seems like G-d might have wanted us to understand something here: Art isn’t just about ability; it’s about seeing what needs to change and creating something that can make a difference. G-d’s art is to make us whole through giving us the vision to see what needs to change.

I was reading a delightfully short book by Seth Godin called Graceful where he took a full section to talk about Art. He defines art as this: “Art is anything that’s creative, passionate and personal… Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.”

G-d’s art is revealed in the everyday continuation of what He started long ago. Genesis 1.1 “First this: G-d created the Heavens and Earth – all you see, all you don’t see”

G-d was the original creator and the only one by which we may LEARN what He wants to do with our lives. The beauty of His art is that there is still life yet to be revealed. Some things in creation we are still waiting on, there are things and colors in heaven that we still haven’t experienced – and I cannot wait. He set the heavens in place, His majesty is seen in all there is and He holds my heart and molds in everyday into something reflecting Him.

G-d is a passionate G-d, He is a compassionate G-d, a G-d who thinks about us and has purpose for us.

He is a wonderful, powerful master who sees us in the state we are in and calls us His.

He is a personal G-d who cared so much about the people He created that He sent His one perfect thing He had left – His son so that He might be reunited with us.

I can’t help but think through a few things…

1.   Are you letting G-d’s art CHANGE you? When was the last time you admired the sunrise or sunset and couldn’t focus cause the presence of G-d was so thick through your thoughts that you broke out in praise with your entire being?

2.   Are you letting G-d direct your art that He has for you? Some of you have read these posts and thought, “oh that’s nice, but I don’t have art to give”… how selfish. You have a gift that only you can give, you have an art that only you can perfect FOR HIM and you don’t care enough to search it out? Maybe it doesn’t look like messy hands from painting, or like a keyboard to type stories into. Maybe it looks like buying a bag of food a day and driving until you see someone who might need it? Maybe it looks like having a conversation everyday in which you remind someone of how much they mean to you? Possibly you could take 30 days to spend time getting better at listening to G-d? Maybe G-d has given you a heart for missions but you’re in a different season where you can’t leave yet – What if you were to passionately pray for a different location or people group for 30 days? What if you were to check up on the area to see what G-d was doing with your prayers?

“The more people you change, the more you change them, the more effective your art is… If there is no change, there is no art. IF no one experiences it, there can be no change.” –Graceful

((What has changed around you lately?

((((Have you inspired the change?

Continue On

Posted on by lainamunoz

Life update.

I think there are loads of things in my life that I sit back and ask,

“Why am I still doing this?”

Writing is one of those.

Writing is hard.

This is week 16 and more than ever I feel more like spam rather than anything useful for anyone. Then I think to myself, “Well Laina, this isn’t about THEM ((whoever them is)) this is about the fact that you felt really strongly about the calling to be faithful with your writing so that G-d could teach you a few things about yourself (ugh, there G-d goes bringing that into this)”

((Faithfulness is hard))

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-3
“Endure hardship as discipline; G-d is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciple – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”
Hebrews 12:7-8
I know this is heavily influenced by the Think Back Thursday but it’s absolutely where I’m at with life right now AND what my week has been focused on

Lets stroll here for a little bit. Consider it JOY when you face trials. I had to ask this question to myself several times recently, “am I viewing trials as an opportunity to grow, am I finding joy knowing that I’m learning perseverance?” At first the answer was a hard “No” followed by “Laina what the heck are you doing with your life?” and then it was a “yeah, sometimes I think I get that” and now it’s a daily battle of having little to no passion behind a lot of the things I feel called to do because it’s just been a long season and its not always easy to hold only what you thought you knew.

What I do know to be true is the active Word of G-d. ‘you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance… and let that finish so that you might be mature and complete, not lacking anything’ G-d I don’t want to lack so help my views change on what I’m walking through. You’re teaching me how to be a child I just need to sit and listen.

Why writing is hard:

It’s time consuming – which isn’t as big of a deal right now because all my assessments are in and competent (humble brag) but it requires focused time and time to process which sometimes I struggle with.

Its personal – sharing is hard. Partly because sometimes I don’t want to admit to myself where I am and the other bit would be because I, as an author, don’t want to bore you with something that isn’t useful. Actually, I’d love to accomplish the opposite. I want people to feel like they can be a little bit more of a person when they read what I write. I want them to fall more in love with Jesus or meet Him for the first time. I want people to laugh when they catch up on my dry humor. And I want to constantly be getting better both at storytelling and writing real gud.

It’s not always read – hmm… which brings me back to faithfulness. I felt like this was something G-d wanted to work on in my life was sticking to commitments if no one reads it or not, now that I think about it that’s pretty funny since I typically write in a journal daily anyway but this is more along the lines of editing and cleaning up the thought process and publishing something I’d be proud of. Come Fridays that doesn’t always happen but I also enjoy looking back and seeing how much I’ve grown so the weak posts are welcome as well. Feeling awkward about my work is alright.

You don’t always have something awesome to say – You have no idea how badly I want to be sharing these ridiculous, life-changing revelations that Christ has shown me throughout the weeks but sometimes I’m too stubborn to sit and listen and I don’t get them. I want to be a good author and I’m still learning what that means. Sometimes, (and PLEASE do correct me if I’m wrong, seriously, I’d love to know if I’m the only one who thinks this way), I think it has more to do with consistency and the subtle changes for the better than always having content that will bring the reader to tears and make them do that next thing that they haven’t been brave enough to do yet. Maybe I’ll get there, but for now I’m learning a lot about sitting, thinking, writing and rewriting.

‘Let perseverance finish its work in you so that you will be complete and mature, not lacking anything.’

I’m clearly not mature yet. But, G-d is good at reminding me of who He IS creating me to be. Faithfulness and Loyalty are some of the most important things in the world to me and in the last two weeks or so G-d has used a few different people to remind me that HE sees me as faithful… I truly believe that’s not just the early mornings with Him but sometimes I like to think it’s the continuing to do the things that I currently don’t find awesome.

Continue on.