Responsible

Pardon my hardly edited post… we are in the end of Hillsong Conference for this year and I need to get to bed… but I’m still reminded of commitments that I’ve made and a calling I have. So enjoy this old writing on this fine #ThinkBackThursday


I am responsible for my own actions and I will be judged according to the choices I make. In two days, it marks the 1 year of when I started the 30 day challenge and I’ve often thought of writing different things to finish but never got around to it. Sometimes the hardest thing is finishing. But even before you finish, taking responsibility for the things you were supposed to or committed to do.
My creativity, my art (if only for G-d to teach me, and even if you get nothing out of me publicly posting it) is to write and in 365 days I’ve put up 28 pieces. 29 if you count this one I’m writing. I don’t feel a need to apologize to you because I never promised you that I’d write. I feel like for one of the few times my life I’ve realized the importance of telling G-d “I blew it” I made a commitment to be better by tracking growth and letting Him inspire me and I let myself get to busy.
So, if this has nothing to do with you and this is all, “my bad” why post it?
Accountability. Encouragement. Correction.
My responsibility is to own my mistakes and confess them, though I’ve only sinned against myself and G-d by breaking a commitment it is now (because you’ve read this) your responsibility (or option depending on how much you care I suppose) to pray for me.

James.5
13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Maybe you don’t think there is much to pray for. You don’t want to go to G-d with one of those, “uh, help Laina… Um finish her posts? Cause I guess she wants to”
But it’s not about that. In the little things we develop habits. Breaking a commitment here and there turns into a lifestyle. I wish I would finally commit to exercising on a consistent basis, to budgeting and making a priority of saving, to writing songs, writing thoughts, to letting G-d change me constantly to be more like him, to thanking Him for his mercies and everything He’s given me.
I’m a spoiled girl.

Sigh

Mind you, a lot of these posts are me thinking out loud. And to be taken “general” by the public. I guess what I’m saying is don’t try to become my accountability partner just because you read this. I’m more guarded and wise then to let just anyone pour into me or know everything about me. But. I guess if you can find something in here that makes sense to you, great. If I’m just posting this to own my…. lack of responsibility. Then let it be. Let me grow and if you think fit to bring me before the creator in prayer. I’d appreciate it.

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