While being at my parents house I decided to go through my old things and sort out how to consolidate anything I had left before I moved. This is always a challenge for me because while I’m not very sentimental with items I do hold on dearly to words. I began scanning through old cut sheets from Family Group meeting with my girls, old poems and ‘sermons’ (for lack of a better word). I realized that I was just as passionate back then as I am now about my what I do, even though I didn’t realize how much it meant to me at the time.
One thing I’ve noticed while being here is that sometimes in the midst of not realizing – we are doing exactly what we were made to do. I never came to a season full of knowing that I was right where I needed to be, I never fully ‘figured out’ life. But I did have enough to know I should keep going and that has been a large part of my journey with writing. I love what I do so I guess I got that down.
13 October 2010 – #ThinkBackThursday
I kinda thought that eventually I’d have life “figured out” and that if I didn’t there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn’t listening to G-d enough. But “I don’t know” has become an everyday phrase for me and for a while I thought it was acceptable. Lately though G-d’s been working on getting it through my head that His word is full of promises for me to ‘know’ about His faithfulness and my future.
He’s given me something to hold onto – and I’m slowly realizing how selfish my ignorance was. I still have “I don’t know’s” in my life – I might not know everything, but I know Him.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” Declares the LORD”
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”
“If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to have favor with you.”
“Know therefore that the LORD your G-d is G-d; He is faithful G-d. Keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands.”
“I KNOW my Redeemer lives…”
I might not know the answer to all of my life questions – but I know the One who holds me, the One who believes in me and loves me. HE knows my future.