Spoken Word of Sorts

God it’s been too long since my last breath
I’m still too far away from my deliverance
And I’m sorry that I’m here again
And I’m here again – And I’m here again
They say of me – God’s forgotten him
I’ve been forgotten, yes – but something in me sees that
You bless and you cannot bless the fatherless so you’ve adopted us and it means
You HAVE to SEE
So pardon me if I refuse to believe that You don’t see me

Yes – thunder roars in heavenly response to my suffering
And all of the sudden it’s like You’re finally listening
I will praise You when my enemies tease
I will praise You when You don’t look like King

Pause – Breathe – Think about it
Because when you get it…
You’ll have to shout about it

I sleep and wake because You sustain me
And when I rest I lie there soundly
No enemy shall prosper because
Your shield surrounds me
Your glory crowns me
Your salvation owns me and
Lord, YOU know me
You see me
You love me

Pause – Breathe – Think about it
Because when you get it…
You’ll have to shout about it

My feet have been found in a foundation of You
My faith has been stirred and even those faithless – returned to learn a little bit more about the freedom from fears that you bring
In the midst of my end you see
You see me
You know me
You restore me
You love me

So bring me back once more to belief
Because although I am sure
I am sure that I need to see
That you are a father and that you are for me

Pause – Breathe – and I’ll be on my knees


This thought was based on Psalms 3 and heaps of commentaries to accompany it. It was a pleasure and a challenge to write because at the time I was dealing with my own discovery of just how incorrect I can be in my views. I realized that I have trouble treating the Lord as Lord when it doesn’t seem like He is ruling much of anything. I begin to disassociate Him as King of Kings and Lord of my life when I perceive Him to be taking a back seat and coasting in my life and leading me (you know, because somehow I deserve Him to always be giving me answers).

This was confronting and correcting and I couldn’t have been more honoured to have been asked to delve into these scriptures. My natural first response after finishing this was, “Dude, how cool would that be if I wrote a spoken word for EVERY Psalm!?”. You can tell I get excited easily.

But until then, this is here now 🙂 Enjoy!

Dear Diary,

I suddenly have to ask myself questions I don’t want to hear. I’m sitting wondering if I’m good at loving people or if maybe I have no idea what love really looks like. I found out that I struggle to let the Lord just love me and through my non-educated assumptions I reckon it has brought some of the issues I have. I’ve been sitting with myself thinking about faithfulness and measuring myself up in uneven scales. Lord, teach me to just be again, teach me how to sit with you and breathe.

I am gross when I look at You.
I am a curse when I see Your blessings.
I am dark when I stand in Your light.
I am off key when the angels start singing.

And then I see the way You look at me…
And I see how deeply You care
You tell me that’s not how You see me
And you begin again to repair

I’m not actually sure if I’m GOOD at loving but I know that I just have to ask you to love me and You will, and You’ll change me.

Lord, please change me

Scrabit Selfless

Short, sweet and from 2010

#ThinkBackThursday


Come, let’s choose the steps beyond – to truly see past self.
Let us go where pain goes numb because of the depth that it’s felt.
We’ll die today if we wont let go,
We’ll die if we try to hold on
Let’s purge ourselves of anything that looks like it belongs.

Think Back With Me On A Little Poetry

I don’t really know HOW people ‘get into’ poetry, so I’m not entirely sure where my obsession and appreciation began. I remember having a book for a language class growing up that had the most beautiful poetry in the back of it. I memorized one of the poems entirely.

This is a poem I had written 5 years and a day ago (16 December 2010). I modified it in the slightest to help the cadence along but this is still a very real part of where my life walks. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday!


 

Sometimes I wish I had more strength, 
You tell me to rely on You.
Sometimes I just want to be able to see,
but You say You’re leading me through.
Sometimes I wish I had more trust,
But You tell me it’s just something I have to DO.
Sometimes I’m glad You believe more in me than I act like I believe in You.