Inspirational

You’re Doing It Wrong

Posted on by lainamunoz

 

My Puerto Rican J-Lo (Jen Nieves) and I are Pastoral-Creatives. It’s that mix of people who care too much about people to leave them alone but still like to play with finger paints. Or if you want, you can join me in viewing our personalities as hippies. Love music. Love art. Love people.

Always.

At one point or another we (at the very least I) tried to run away from this very odd inner draw to help the A.D.D. Christians still love G-d. But it is who we are and there is no escape.

But G-d couldn’t just leave me alone with the desire to write music, sing and preach and teach… He also allowed my life to become introverted (I need to recharge without people) NOT shy (I’m too full of myself and my insecurities to carry on a conversation)((pride)).

Thanks G.

Oilvia [my sweet as drummer friend (I’m totally name dropping today)] and I were talking yesterday about the conclusion of our first year at Hillsong College. We were discussing what was difficult for us the first year that we still haven’t ‘dealt’ with… What are we still working on?

For me: which I’m assuming you want to know because you are still reading – this was community. I explained my thoughts on how I walked through my first year and how at the end of it, if I’m being as overly honest as I always tend to be, I feel like not that many people know me. Now – the KNOWING ME isn’t the important part, the GIVING MYSELF, my time, my energy, my investments, my open heart, my very unique part of the body of Christ is important. It IS important because I am also shy. I dealt this last year with being so concerned with myself and insecure that I didn’t give all I felt I could have.

Now, I’ve recently written about this so I don’t want to get too much into what I already wrote about… But I will reiterate the importance of being in community. We are better together and we were never meant to do this alone. If I could just encourage, challenge, tell you to, force you to READ the Bible… that would be awesome, but for the sad fact that the majority of you struggle to get a daily time to sit and process with G-d I’ll chop some up here for you.

“Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching”

Hebrews 10:SomewhereBetween24-25 (MSG)

Guys and Gals, I have NO idea how to encourage someone that I’m not around. Nor do I know how to encourage if I’m only concerned for how bold I feel that day or how crazy I think my hair is partying that day.

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”

Galatians 6:1-3 (NLT)

Ewww… Pride isn’t pretty on ANYONE, especially shy-pride.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT)

 

//Changed and changing still//

Thank G-d I’m not the same that I was and thank G-d that I will not remain the same that I am.

I’m verbally and electronically committed to community – I’m committed to lunches and coffee dates. I’m committed to my housemates and practicum team. I’m committed to showing up, being there and giving me. And if the Lord is willing all of that will be useful.

G-d, as always, you have my permission to make me look more like you and less like myself. You have my permission to make me look more AT you and less AT myself. You have my time, my energy, my investments, my open heart, and my very unique part of Your kingdom. Here’s to all the people time I need next year.

*Random PSA I found online – if you feed the toilet paper to the back of the roll and not the front you’re an ignorant, inconsiderate person and you need to grow up.

 

Fun-Size Forgetfulness

Posted on by lainamunoz

As of late, I feel like my friends as a whole are in need of more strength than they have. I feel like I’m in that boat as well, I need more faith, I need more courage, I need more compassion, I need more grace and in general I need more of Christ in my life.

I find myself in the mornings waking up and instinctively realizing how badly I need him and almost even to the first second of consciousness calling out for Him to help me. With this, though I tend to forget what I said because I’m not fully awake. But thank G-d that He remembers and hears me and follows through with the requests we need more than the ones we ask for.

Please enjoy this short blog from 2012!

17.09.2012

Sometimes I forget that I can ask G-d for stuff like strength; I don’t forget when I need it – but I forget to ask BEFORE I need it. This morning I thought to ask G-d for strength for my day and it’s the first time in a while that I did before junk took it’s place in my day. What I am so grateful for is that He answers my prayers, in His time and wisdom and as He sees fit.

“Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping. The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer.” – Psalms 6.8-9

Back up off Satan, G-d hears me. He accepts my cries for help and He is close to me. Giving His child refuge and strength. He restores me even while He is defending me cause He is all-powerful.

LORD, this morning I ask You for strength. I ask You for favor and blessing. G-d, I beg You for a new heart and a right mind that meditates on Your Word and promises. And here and now, before trials come I ask You to help in only a way You can. Mostly, G-d, help me stand out of the way. 

What Is In A Name?

Posted on by lainamunoz

I have a lot of pride. I got a job when I was young and worked for about 46% of my life (which is gross to think about when you’re only 24) and did my best to ‘provide’ for my wants and needs (I thought I was providing, but I know I wouldn’t be alive without my parents). I carry pride in my friendships, I hold my close friends close (and think they’re cooler than you). I carry pride in my little sister who is absolutely irreplaceable and unmatchable in competition for my affection and attention. She’s the most intelligent and beautiful and talented little person I have ever known and she gives the BEST hugs. I carry pride in my goals that I’ve set for myself, which I’m often humbled by, because lets be honest, sometimes I over schedule and don’t complete things (sometimes I suck at keeping commitments).

Lastly, I carry pride in my name. I suppose really it isn’t MY name, but it is my family name. It’s Muñoz and it means: “on a hill”; my first name [Elaina (I just rocked some of your worlds)] means: “light”

((My name means: “light on a hill”, freak yeah!))

Way to go mom and dad!

After I finalized my divorce, changing my name back was a huge deal for me. I couldn’t wait to be apart of my father’s family again. It wasn’t as if I no longer belonged when my name was different but there is something about a legal, outward label that means I am apart of something bigger than me. I wanted to be re-associated with my father and my father’s family. I wanted to belong to the family that I grew up with. Changing my name back on Facebook sent me into a small gut-dropping panic because some people didn’t even know that my ex and I had even had our first fight (I lied a lot to a lot of people between my 21st birthday and my 22nd. I was asked, “how’s married life?” enough to make my head spin) so I waited until I left for a three week holiday to Ireland to visit my best friend. It was a birthday/vacation gift to myself.

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:4-5

 It’s almost as if we have this duel citizenship with our earthly families and the Kingdom family. He CHOSE us from the beginning of the world before I had a chance to screw up royally, and even knowing all the things I was going to do, HE adopted me. He looked at me and decided that I was allowed to have His name. Not only was I allowed – but also He fought for me to have His name. A name that is higher than anything and everything, that means more than “light on a hill” (Don’t get me wrong, my parents did awesome and my name is sick as). I was given a name by my heavenly Father that has power over the grave AND all of my sins. I have been given a name that looks past my talents and blessings as well as my shortcomings. He not only chose us, but it was all in accordance to His pleasure and will… what?!

He wanted to.

The name of Jesus means: Savior. It means defender, it means deliverer, it means guardian, it means hero, it means liberator, it means rescuer, and it means that I NEEDED HIM. What is in my name is a belonging to the King of Kings and the one who is over all things. My name means that I have an inheritance of eternity and authority at my right hand.

The thing is, that I actually didn’t have to go back and change my name to Muñoz again. I could have left it the way it was so that I didn’t have to go through with the process of sitting at the social security office, the DMV, all of anywhere that I had a bill to be paid, anything social media – but I CHOSE to. I had to choose to take up my name again and allow myself to realize that I belonged.

Jesus is a gentlemen. I’ve always believed that because I’ve always found it to be true in my life. He isn’t barging in and taking my heart captive by force. He is waiting to be sought out and waiting for the permission to make you apart of His family. I don’t know too much that there is to know about adoption but I know that once the child is old enough to understand, they can say no to the adoption. Once we come to an age of understanding we have the ability (and many do) say no to the name of Christ Jesus… and what a painful decision that is.

I choose today to take pride in my name that was given to me at the highest cost. 

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1

That we would be called Your own. G-d, I’m not worthy of it but I will accept it. I’m not the best representation but I have a Bible full of ‘less thans’ who have made a way for me to believe. If you can use anything Lord, You can use me.

Why I’m Not Good Enough For Ministry:

Posted on by lainamunoz

This blog already has enough words. Enjoy.

1) I work in food.

I spend a large portion of time cooking or cleaning the restaurant that I’ve been working at for years. This job prohibits me from being in church every Sunday and Wednesday, being at important and non-important family functions, and sleeping in a normal pattern. In turn, I spend copious amounts of time with about 25 servers and 15 cooks. Some love Jesus, some don’t, and some of them don’t even believe there is a Jesus. I spend up to 45 hours a week with some of them and I get to hear their stories and share with them mine. I listen to them when they’re upset with a guest, or a co-worker, or family member and I try to always push them to do their best in ALL that they do. I don’t always do a good job or remember to keep a smile on, but I do try. To those who allow, I push and pray for.  I get to watch them go through life with the filter of blue jeans and those nasty black polo’s. Some of them know my faults and victories, they know what pain I’ve been through and what I’ve learned.

All I can do is pray that it’s helped them in some way to not live through what I did or maybe just have the hope that after they do,  they will be alright.

I stepped out of many roles in my local church to take up the demanding schedule of management and offended some people by choosing “Chili’s over church”. However, it is what I chose, and if the only other option was to never have met the people I have, then I’m glad it was my choice. I missed things and events but I got to be involved in people’s lives. I found a small group at Chili’s, I got to befriend some phenomenal people. People that I love and will miss if ever I’m not with them (Hey guys, I miss you). They have a special place in my heart and I will never get sick of learning their stories.

2) I am a woman, and women are crazy.

I get too emotionally involved in things that I see and you can’t live by emotion. You cry a lot when you allow yourself to feel and that’s not fun for anyone, your make up (that actually didn’t look like a 4 year old did it that day) runs, and your friends (if they’re around) have to pretend that you don’t look like a hot mess. It’s not entirely a great situation for anyone. No one wins. For a 4 day time slot every month I can be super mad at you and then cry when you actually try to talk it out with me. If you give me caffeine at any point I’m in a great mood. And I’ll complain about my appearance after you compliment me. I can’t think of a compassion filled story without getting a heartache and I have so much pride for my little sister that I cry most of the time she does anything cool. I can’t sing a full song about The Lords faithfulness and not get choked up. I give too much of my time to things that aren’t always worth it and I give too much of myself to people who are only trying to get ahead.

Women can’t speak in public settings because we are so full of bunny trails that men can’t follow what we are saying. So what’s the point in trying? A lot of times I’d love to believe I’m a lot like Ruth: sticking to her promises all the time and working always to get exactly what she needs and being faithful… when really I see myself more often as the woman with the alabaster box so overwhelmed at the forgiveness given to me that all I can do is offer everything I have because even that isn’t enough. I’m moved emotionally to action and repentance; I don’t walk around trying to make up for the things I’ve screwed up. My heartstrings get tugged and I collapse and offer the mess that I become to the Creator and hope it becomes something better than what I left.

I am a woman, women are crazy and if it wasn’t for the patience of a G-d who loves me that would be enough to disqualify me.

But I have to believe this compassion and heart that aches He has set inside of me was meant to be mine. I have to trust that even when I give “too much” and get taken advantage of that it was all in His hands anyway and whatever He wills, will be. I have to know that when I cry its not because I’m a mess and I’m weak but because I’m ALLOWED to feel for people. I’m allowed to weep with someone who is hurting and lost. I’m ok taking time to be mad and scared and crazy because Jesus himself wept over me. He knew I’d be like this. He made me like this.

3) I love writing because I can think through what I’m saying -

when I speak I feel like it doesn’t make sense. Sometimes when I try to words out loud they don’t come out correctly.

I’m not a great communicator, at least I feel like I could be a better one. I don’t monitor what I say before I let it fall out of my mouth and this sometimes causes hurt feelings or people just being butt hurt that I had a better come back than them. I feel more frequently than not that I’m looking at G-d and His requests telling him, “I’m just not the right one” I feel highly inadequate to be given a lot of the opportunities I am because I’m simply not the best at what I do. I found out recently just how bad I am at photography, which I just find comical – I’m just not creative in that aspect about 95% of the time. I like to play piano and ukulele and guitar but I get nervous and mess up a lot. I like to speak but I feel like I could throw up before each time I do unless its in the middle of worship. Jesus tells me a lot in that setting and asks me to say a lot, I believe mostly up to this point what He needs me to say out loud is typically for me. Kind of public confession/accountability sort of a thing, but also, I’m just realizing how freeing it is to tell your stories. People learn from one another. And especially WHEN I DO mess up what I’m saying and someone still tells me they needed to hear it

I realize all the more that the result of the Gospel is the result of the Gospel, it is NOT the result of my attempts to share the Gospel.

So, yes, I stumble and fumble and say the wrong thing. My thinking isn’t perfect, my talents are not the best but I have had an opportunity to grown and become something more useful for what G-d wants to do in this world and in ME.                ((And that’s pretty cool.

4) I was married – but now I’m not.

Life isn’t supposed to go that way. “When something is broke you fix it you don’t throw it away.” In some Jesus denominations you can’t be in a pastoral/leadership position if you’ve been through a divorce, I’m not here to change your stance one way or another on if that’s right or wrong, or fair or harsh. I’m just stating the fact that on legal pieces of paper my marital status isn’t “Single”. If you know me very well, you know my story; if you kind of know me, you know the readers digest version; if you don’t know me and you tripped across my gofundme account (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgaQ23dFtQg) or Merge Video blog (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgaQ23dFtQg) you at the very least know that I’m divorced. I didn’t at the time think what I went through was fair. I was mad. I waited until I was married for sex, I worked at church, I grew up serving in almost every age of ministry I could be apart of, I led a family group, I led a worship team, I helped with the drama team, I was in line and could have worked my way into being a Junior High pastor. I was in love; I was 21 and extremely happy. I loved being around people and telling stories I had hopes, dreams, drive and ambition. And then I got mad. I got chosen over. I wasn’t good enough in my prime; I wasn’t good enough when I was the princess of the day. This is more difficult to write about because I’m still a firm believer that people do change (going back to the being a woman and crazy) I believe the best and sometimes get taken advantage of. But I don’t feel its fair to say my ex is the pit of disgust and should have a terrible life because of what happened. I gave up everything to take a break and learn how to do the ministry of marriage. And I was chosen over.

Yet, I have been unfaithful to my creator and His forgiveness is awesome.

Literally, I’m in awe of what He has done for me. I didn’t want there to be a G-d because that way I could react whatever way I saw fit and not believe there was something up there with a broken heart over me. I wanted so badly to be alone and just die because if He wasn’t real it wouldn’t have mattered. But I’m still here. I had friends telling me to get off my couch and get some sunshine and air. I wanted there to be nothing and for everything to mean nothing. It didn’t work; I broke and realized there IS something because I’m not done being me. I’m not finished learning how to love and forgive and seek forgiveness. I’m not done being loved. The Lord has given us love and forgiveness we don’t deserve and cannot repay because we are sinful. The majority of us will go through a moment, or trial, or piece of a story that gives us the opportunity to walk away from everything we know and believe in.

I’m grossly hopeful, it gets better –

no matter what you’re going through,

it gets better.

I swear, no matter how painful the heartache, IT GETS BETTER. G-d showed us His forgiveness clearly with the story of Hosea, He called Hosea to marry a prostitute. He called him to a union of unfaithfulness. He told Hosea to love her, over and over again to find her where she was, whoever she was with and take her back and love her. He did this to show what He has done for us. While we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us. So I have a red letter in my marital status… Could G-d have used it? Yes. Would life of been different if I chose to stay? Yes. Life changes constantly and I chose what I did.

I’m here now and at peace with where “here” is.

My Story is a huge part of Australia. G-d knew the outcome and He knew my heart the entire time. And HE still loves me, HE still knows me and HE still treasures me.

5) I don’t like pretending I’ve got my life together – I pretty openly admit I don’t know everything – or even what I’m doing.

I’m too honest and probably share too much… like, all the time. I believe too firmly that I can sit before my Father as I am and let Him deal with me as I am. I tell Him when His word doesn’t make sense to me, and I tell people who I’m talking to when it doesn’t make sense to me as well. I believe firmly in grace and because of this I no longer give myself stomach ulcers trying to be a “good” person. I try to love and give but when I screw up I believe in the forgiveness already given to me. I’m not the best witness in the world because I can’t explain everything there is to being a ‘Christian’ even though I grew up in church. I have a decent amount of blind faith in that this is the only thing that has made sense so far so this is what I do.

This is the only way the heartache eases

the panic attacks settle

the joy is restored and the hope is in full swing.

So this is what I do. I love on Jesus and let Him love on me. I’m not good at being a good Christian. I take scripture too literally, I don’t like to dice it up. I question the context of what someone is preaching on and wonder if the author ever really intended for us to use it the way we do sometimes. I believe you can sing and watch chains fall, I believe in prayer actually working when we bring our requests to G-d, I believe all things work together for good even when they suck really bad. I believe in favor and that G-d is going to let me accomplish my “bucket list”before I go, even if it doesn’t look like what I have planned. Heaven forbid I actually believe. It’s not the practical thing to do nor is it useful for planning your next move in whatever ministry you are doing. I feel like a wildcard because I don’t agree with everyone all the time. And then I get vocal and post my disagreement in snide tweets or Facebook statuses, mostly to be funny, mostly because I don’t mind being wrong. My opinions are subject to change because I learn something new about what I’m doing weekly. All in all I’m kind of a brat. Brats aren’t good leaders.

So, I’m sorry I’m not the best candidate but I feel called. I’m sorry I’m wrong sometimes but I’m willing to listen and learn where other people know more. I’m sorry that I have a blemish on my marital-ministry badge but I believe in forgiveness and freedom. Sorry I’m a woman, but I’m not sorry – haha, we are crazy cool. ((I’m sorry that last line was so cheesy.))

I’m mostly sorry if I ever skip and opportunity to be real and open with you all.There is too much importance in life and the actions we take and the conversations we have to not live openly. So it might not look like it used to, but my under qualified self has been living out what it means to be Jesus as best as I’ve been able to. So whatever ministry I fall into, I hope I do ok. G-d knows what He’s doing with me, even when I don’t feel like me is enough.

*Note: Please understand the utter sarcasm throughout this blog and the healing that I’ve come to know as mine. A lot of this was tongue-in-cheek as it stands now. At one point these were the things that bound me. But G-d has done a work that I cannot keep to myself or explain. He is good. I am not.

But He loves ME.

Out Of The Context: Christmas

Posted on by lainamunoz

Welcome to my #ThinkBackThursday this week, I wrote it shortly after my 19th birthday around Christmas time (totally on Christmas day). It’s more of just a prayer and not entirely a Jesus sermon, but it is where I’ve found my heart lately, in full surrender and hopeful request that G-d would be G-d and allow me to be me and hopefully use me everyday along the way. It’s all I really know how to do is lay my requests before G-d and wait on Him; and even with that I am terrible. G-d help me even now, 5 years later and a little bit farther into the path with you. Grow my heart towards You and let there be even more of a willingness to serve Your people and fill me to overflowing with grace. I am needy, but You think about me. Thank You.

For what it’s worth, I give you all I have.

I’m sorry it isn’t pretty, or all that much in the long run.

But I’m willing and ready to change if you want or need me to.

I give you a moldable me. I give you who I am in hopes that You’ll make me better. I give you me, praying that You’ll make me more like you. I let go of fears to give honor and awe to you. I let go of distractions so that You might have my full attention, not out of obligation but out of the LEAST I could give you. Starting now and going into the rest of my life I give it to You. May I never take lightly my service to You and help me to see and re-define who I should be for You.

I love you G-d and I know you love me too.

-Laina

Christmas always reminds me how ridiculously, and undeserving-ly blessed I am. I like all the gifts I got today and somehow I usually sit wishing I had more money or saved better so that this year I could give more. I’m always left with a few people to give presents to AFTER Christmas is over. I don’t see much wrong with that, I just wonder sometimes who stopped today to offer what they could to Jesus? It is after all – – About Him.

Blah blah blah… I’m not about to get on a Christmas lecture on how He is the reason we celebrate, if you don’t know that by now then you’ve been driving with your eyes shut and listening without ears for the months that led up to today. But, for what it’s worth, what have you offered to Him? Not because it’s Christmas, but because He deserves it? Daily. Ha <I can’t believe I started a sentence with a laugh. 8APR2015>, honestly take a look at yourself (I’m looking at my life thus far and the future promise I know I can hold onto) what can you legitimately offer to make the space you’ve taken up worth it? Nothing… Yet somehow when we mix who we are with who G-d wants us to be, HE makes us worth something. But He won’t force himself on you or change you without your allowance. You have to GIVE Him the gift of yourself. Which is almost comical when I think of my life ever being a gift I’d want to present to anyone.

((It’s ALMOST embarrassing))

I don’t understand why G-d chose to love me. All I know is that He did.

I don’t understand why I would somehow make an acceptable gift for the Creator. But somehow He sees it in me.

I don’t understand how G-d orchestrates all of our lives into a beautiful array of hope and progress. But oh, He does.

All I can do is be thankful that I live FREE, with a family that loves me, with friends that miss me when I leave, with jobs that are teaching me how to become who I’m supposed to be.
And despite how messy it is, I have a Creator who is constantly changing the image of who I am into who He is and what He wants me to be.

Jesus, I’m not much and I don’t understand what you see in me, but here I am.

My whole heart for You… Happy Birthday (ish)

Learning To Love To Watch The Paint Dry

Posted on by lainamunoz

We are given the same allotment of space each day to choose to fill. It becomes valuable when it is spent and becomes more when there is less. We have the same amount each week but some weeks we take the time to pay attention to those sections of space, we focus on the moments and the opportunities and we focus on the time we literally can’t do anything except for be. There is no other thing more valuable and more exchangeable than this. So I suppose I’ll continue my pondering from thinking back to timing and thinking this week on waiting. I appreciate what G-d has given me an opportunity to do and what He will allow me to do while I spent my days with Him. Enjoy.

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and //take heart// and wait for the LORD.”

Psalms 27:14

“The LORD gives strength to His people; the LORD //blesses His people with peace.//”

Psalms 29:11

Several times in this adventure of living with 7 beautiful women we have all, or a majority of us have had to be leaving our house at the same time. When this is the case, it’s unspoken and understood that we are going to try to walk together – but, as I’ve stated, I live with 7 other women so getting ready together and on time is doable but not always achieved.

No bother though, when someone isn’t ready to walk out the door, we wait. In our waiting what we are doing is showing that we have the courtesy to remain in their presence until they say ‘go’. What I find interesting is that even when we (I) claim that we are (I am); we (I) hardly have the same consideration in waiting on the LORD.

We sometimes lack the respect to show G-d our patience of remaining in His presence until He says ‘go’.

And beyond that, we are given the command to wait, It’s not just a suggestion we are told once and reminded once in the same scripture to wait.

“I’m not good at waiting”

Good, if we are relying on your strength we’d of given up years ago. What still baffles me about scripture is that we are given commands AND ALSO everything we need to carry out those commands. ‘The LORD gives strength to his people, the LORD blesses us with peace‘

We have all we need, given by G-d – to OBEY G-d.

To ‘take heart’ we are to take up encouragement, it is to be comforted or to buck up. WAIT for the LORD – sit in His presence and be encouraged, be lifted as you spend time with Him until He says, “Ok, we’re ready” And, wait for the LORD.

G-d is not redundant; there is meaning behind His words and His expression to us. G-d is repetitive and not because He wants to say it twice but because maybe we need to hear it twice. He alone enables us with the peace to sit; it’s your choice to be there long enough to receive whatever He is offering to give.

“Be strong” – What a paradox, I know of no other situation than in G-d’s word where you become stronger by sitting. Again, we see a command that personally doesn’t make sense until we skip forward to the blessing of Jesus being our LORD. “The LORD gives strength to his people”. We don’t have enough on our own but He has it for us. May He always be enough…

((Calm down kid, He has this))

He hasn’t left us with this daunting calling that we will never in our lifetime see completed. He isn’t holding our promise over our heads, He is inviting us to take our load to Him and to receive every blessing from His hands that He wants to give us. He is just asking us to wait for Him, and to wait WITH him, and while we are waiting to allow the supernatural creator to give us what we need for today. He isn’t trying to turn us into the Hulk, He’s just trying to bless us and give us our strength for today.

And may peace surround you, even now, even as you sit in your home, a coffee shop, church, your car, school may the peace of Christ which passes all understanding guard your heart. Our hearts take the worst beatings of all and there has been no other way I’ve known comfort to this level other than when I cried out to G-d. I pray that peace floods in and that you are encouraged, that you’re uplifted, that you are strengthened and revived to your best.

G-d knows what He is doing and He doesn’t want you to miss out. Wait on Him.

Even when you’re uncomfortable and feel silence deeper than you hear the truth.

The fact is that it IS STILL the truth. Allow the Words of G-d to sit with you. He has good for you. He is good TO YOU. Find the beauty in obedience as it comes to being with the Savior. And I pray that in His perfect timing you’d begin to ‘go’ WITH Him.

He’s getting something ready for you. 

 

But, What Do I Do With My Hands?

Posted on by lainamunoz

I suppose sometimes the task is really just to continue. 

As per usual, I’m preaching to myself and praying that someone gets something out of it as well.

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Psalms 23

Lately, I’ve admitted to others and heard from friends as well, that we have no idea what we are doing. We know G-d has a special plan and intent for our lives and at this season we are sure we are where we need to be. But It seems all the sudden as if G-d has gone silent. Maybe we are bad at listening? Maybe, we don’t lie well in green pastures? Maybe we feel awkward around still waters? Maybe we really just aren’t sure what to do with our hands?

I’m bad at this

You tell me in your word that you LEAD me by quiet waters… I, in my own person and self and thoughts and decisions LOVE the beach and love to be by the beach and take a nap in the sun listening to the crashing waves. But, when JESUS tries to lead me there in that place of resting with Him and sitting in the season I’m in – I tend to freak out. I feel left out or forgotten even though I know what the Bible tells me about Him never leaving or forsaking me. Why the heck do I do this? I imagine like most things it is a lack of awareness of what G-d just might be trying to do. A few days ago I finally found a settlement in my spirit that it’s time to sit here. I’m where I belong so its time to BE HERE. Not exactly new news but its for sure something I needed to remember. It’s ok to sit in the silent seasons with G-d, sometimes He actually wants to restore us.

I’m well aware that G-d knows my heart better than I do so the trusting is pretty easy, the feelings sometimes suck though.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” Psalms 13:5-6

G-d, you’ve BEEN and you will be. Your love has never given up on me. Your salvation is final and such a gift. I will sing praise to You. You’ve been so good. I’m going to learn how to teach my spirit to praise you no matter what I feel and trust You hear me. “I call on you, O G-d, for you answer me.” Psalms 17:6

What I DO know is that G-d is faithful.

So may I find myself with my hands where they belong, in surrender of all the things that stress me out, giving up the things that are hard for me to look past. May I be found with my hands on my heart, sitting with the father and knowing that He has me sitting this season for a purpose. 

He’s doing a new thing but He is also remembering to wake the sun up each morning and tuck it away each night. He is calling His kids home but He is also sending them out to preach Jesus. He is telling you to keep moving forward with what you started so that He might finish and complete the work in you that He intended you to live out.

Ephensetical and Ephesiastical Thoughts (Revisited)

Posted on by lainamunoz

Please enjoy this revisited post from 15 August 2012, I know I (re)learned some things about living with the LORD and realizing how BIG my savior is. He has excellent plans for us and He also has commands for us to live out. He is good.

“As a prisoner for the LORD, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:1-2 (NIV)

Well, dang… The Gospel just cuts straight to the point there. Paul urges us to LIVE. Not to wait around or get by – but, to take the ‘todays’ and live them out in a manner that is worthy of what we have been called to. We’ve all been given titles and responsibilities that we don’t deserve, as well as given the chance to do our best with them. While we are doing all of that we are told to be completely humble, not just a little bit but with all of who we are. We are told to be grounded and to be level minded. I think the second verse here is completely to remind us to fight human nature – being patient and bearing together in love? Really?

((Yeah, because we all know we are naturally awesome at that…))

Again, this is grace – we use up what we should and then some and we are given another chance AND love and encouragement to try again.

We’ve been given to give it. We have been show how and told to repeat it and G-d’s gifts are the only way we can accomplish this. His love is SO BIG.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of G-d. Now to Him ((all of it… all praise and honor and glory that is in His son, let it be given to Him)) who is ABLE to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:17b-21 (NIV)

Thats a meaty mess of intensity.

(Thur. 19 Mar 2015) – G-d has been reminding me of this constantly lately. That He is ABLE to do more than I can imagine or ever think. He has so much good in store for me and His good is beyond my greatest thoughts. I’m learning how to receive, I’m learning how to ask and expect things from Him. His plans are always better and I get to be apart. I don’t want to step on my own toes and talk about what is rattling in my brain for tomorrows post… But dang. G-d is just good. (end)

G-d, I want to be able to grasp the bigness of Your love.

His words are wiser,

His ways are better. LORD, teach us.

Scrabit: Art

Posted on by lainamunoz 

#ThinkBackThursday
20 October 2010

“Most artists can’t draw, but all artists can see.” – Roy Simmons

“He said, “Go and tell this people: “‘Listen hard, but you aren’t going to get it; look hard, but you wont catch on.’ Make these people blockheads, with fingers in their ears and blindfolds on their eyes, so they wont see a thing, wont hear a word, so they wont have a clue whats going on and, yes, so they wont turn around and be made whole.”

 Isaiah 6:9-10 (MSG)

It seems like G-d might have wanted us to understand something here. Art isn’t just about ability; it’s about seeing what needs to change and creating something that can make a difference. And G-d’s art is to make us whole through giving us the vision to see what needs to change.

I was reading a delightfully short book by Seth Godin called Graceful where he took a full section to talk about Art. He defines art as this: “Art is anything that’s creative, passionate and personal… Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.”

G-d’s art is revealed in the everyday continuation of what He started long ago.

“First this: G-d created the Heavens and Earth – all you see, all you don’t see” Genesis 1:1(MSG)

G-d was the original creator and the only one by which we may LEARN what He wants to do with our lives. The beauty of His art is there is still life yet to be revealed. Some things in creation we are still waiting on, there are things and colors in heaven that we still haven’t experienced ((and I cannot wait)). He set the heavens in place, His majesty is seen in all there is and He holds my heart and molds it everyday into something reflecting Him.

G-d is a passionate G-d, He is a compassionate G-d, a G-d who thinks about us and has purpose for us. He is a wonderful, powerful master who sees us in the state we are in and calls us His. He is a personal G-d who cared so much about the people He created that He sent His one perfect thing He had left – His son so that He might be reunited with us.

I can’t help but think through a few things…

First.     Are you letting G-d’s art CHANGE you? When was the last time you admired the sunrise or sunset and couldn’t focus cause the presence of G-d was so thick through your thoughts that you broke out in praise with your entire being?

2nd.     Are you letting G-d direct your art that He has for you? Some of you have read these posts and thought, “oh that’s nice, but I don’t have art to give”…how selfish… You have a gift that only you can give, you have an art that only you can perfect FOR HIM and you don’t care enough to search it out? Maybe it doesn’t look like messy hands from painting, or like a keyboard to type stories into. Maybe it looks like buying a bag of food a day and driving till you see someone who might need it? Maybe it looks like having a conversation everyday in which you remind someone of how much they mean to you? Possibly you could take 30 days to spend time perfecting listening to G-d? Maybe G-d has given you a heart for missions but you’re in a different season where you can’t leave yet? What if you were to passionately pray for a different location or people group for 30 days? What if you were to check up on the area to see what G-d was doing with your prayers?

“The more people you change, the more you change them, the more effective your art is… If there is no change, there is no art. IF no one experiences it, there can be no change.” –Graceful

What has changed around you lately? Have you inspired the change?