I have a lot of pride. I got a job when I was young and worked for about 46% of my life (which is gross to think about when you’re only 24) and did my best to ‘provide’ for my wants and needs (I thought I was providing, but I know I wouldn’t be alive without my parents). I carry pride in my friendships, I hold my close friends close (and think they’re cooler than you). I carry pride in my little sister who is absolutely irreplaceable and unmatchable in competition for my affection and attention. She’s the most intelligent and beautiful and talented little person I have ever known and she gives the BEST hugs. I carry pride in my goals that I’ve set for myself, which I’m often humbled by, because lets be honest, sometimes I over schedule and don’t complete things (sometimes I suck at keeping commitments).

Lastly, I carry pride in my name. I suppose really it isn’t MY name, but it is my family name. It’s Muñoz and it means: “on a hill”; my first name [Elaina (I just rocked some of your worlds)] means: “light”

((My name means: “light on a hill”, freak yeah!))

Way to go mom and dad!

After I finalized my divorce, changing my name back was a huge deal for me. I couldn’t wait to be apart of my father’s family again. It wasn’t as if I no longer belonged when my name was different but there is something about a legal, outward label that means I am apart of something bigger than me. I wanted to be re-associated with my father and my father’s family. I wanted to belong to the family that I grew up with. Changing my name back on Facebook sent me into a small gut-dropping panic because some people didn’t even know that my ex and I had even had our first fight (I lied a lot to a lot of people between my 21^st birthday and my 22^nd. I was asked, “how’s married life?” enough to make my head spin) so I waited until I left for a three week holiday to Ireland to visit my best friend. It was a birthday/vacation gift to myself.

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:4-5

 It’s almost as if we have this duel citizenship with our earthly families and the Kingdom family. He CHOSE us from the beginning of the world before I had a chance to screw up royally, and even knowing all the things I was going to do, HE adopted me. He looked at me and decided that I was allowed to have His name. Not only was I allowed – but also He fought for me to have His name. A name that is higher than anything and everything, that means more than “light on a hill” (Don’t get me wrong, my parents did awesome and my name is sick as). I was given a name by my heavenly Father that has power over the grave AND all of my sins. I have been given a name that looks past my talents and blessings as well as my shortcomings. He not only chose us, but it was all in accordance to His pleasure and will… what?!

He wanted to.

The name of Jesus means: Savior. It means defender, it means deliverer, it means guardian, it means hero, it means liberator, it means rescuer, and it means that I NEEDED HIM. What is in my name is a belonging to the King of Kings and the one who is over all things. My name means that I have an inheritance of eternity and authority at my right hand.

The thing is, that I actually didn’t have to go back and change my name to Muñoz again. I could have left it the way it was so that I didn’t have to go through with the process of sitting at the social security office, the DMV, all of anywhere that I had a bill to be paid, anything social media – but I CHOSE to. I had to choose to take up my name again and allow myself to realize that I belonged.

Jesus is a gentlemen. I’ve always believed that because I’ve always found it to be true in my life. He isn’t barging in and taking my heart captive by force. He is waiting to be sought out and waiting for the permission to make you apart of His family. I don’t know too much that there is to know about adoption but I know that once the child is old enough to understand, they can say no to the adoption. Once we come to an age of understanding we have the ability (and many do) say no to the name of Christ Jesus… and what a painful decision that is.

I choose today to take pride in my name that was given to me at the highest cost. 

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1

That we would be called Your own. G-d, I’m not worthy of it but I will accept it. I’m not the best representation but I have a Bible full of ‘less thans’ who have made a way for me to believe. If you can use anything Lord, You can use me.