Words

Attitude Check

Posted on by lainamunoz

I reckon I still deal with this is many ways and in some other ones I just look back and laugh at myself. I have for sure had plenty of opportunity in these last 5 or so years to practice patience and see growth in that area of my life. I think I’m just finding that there is no ‘fix all’. It’s just a matter of waking up and needing Jesus.

Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

I’ve found out something about myself tonight: I am not patient.

I’m in Georgia for Christmas and my cousin has been on a crocheting kick. I’ve known for a while how to do a simple chain stitch (for those who aren’t over 40 or weren’t homeschooled and don’t know what that is – it’s the simplest and most basic stitch you can crochet). For a short time I thought it was super interesting that one piece of yarn could end up making a full hat, scarf, or even blanket. I decided to expand my knowledge on this old-woman hobby and learn how to make a scarf. Except, my patience over break is low and I lost interest and ended up making a ring instead of sitting there for hours making a scarf.

Renee made a scarf. It looks nice.

I don’t like crocheting because while you’re in the process it doesn’t look like you’re accomplishing anything. I hate projects that don’t look like what they’re supposed to look like for a long time. Over this break I have also taken up the art or craft or need to make friendship bracelets (some of you will be getting these for Christmas… act surprised). While you’re in the process of making them they look NOTHING like what they are supposed to. I hate it. I didn’t like sitting there working on something that took forever and hardly looked the way it needed to in the end. In an expressive fit of exhaustion from not understanding how to make the dumb things I told my mom, “I hate things that don’t look right till they’re done!”

There is magic in hearing things out loud, or even paying attention to yourself.

I’ve been fighting this season in my life for a long time now. It’s been going on since probably around April, it got hard in June, and close to unbearable in September. I don’t like sitting in this place where I don’t feel I’m the person I’m supposed to be. I’m NOT good at enjoying the process of letting G-d take strand by strand; hook by hook; trial by trial; glory to glory and making me into something. And I have to be honest about this, at 20 years old that makes me sad.

I’m not sure why I didn’t just come out loving that part of life – the part where you are being built but I didn’t.

I do know that I am the only person who can change myself; more that I’m the only one who can let myself change. G-d does the changing. But sometimes He can’t change you if you don’t realize you need it. Somehow in the moment of wanting to quit on the bracelets and realizing that I had something wrong with me, deeply wrong with me I needed change.

((PFT, this was like an hour ago I NEED CHANGE G-D.))

Lord, please help me, I’m a 20 year old girl who needs an attitude check. I don’t want to be blind to the process and maybe there is even something inside of me that wants to ENJOY the process. But I know I can’t change that about myself alone, I NEED YOU.

            Bleh.

I’m in love with G-d and G-d’s in love with me. This is who I am, He’ll change me to who I need to be.

My One Word Blog

Posted on by lainamunoz

If you were only allowed to give the world one more thing what would you have to offer?

Today’s challenge is to come up with something that you can leave because you can’t take any of it with you.

I’ve rambled on several other times about the importance of words and what power they hold so I will keep this short – if you can humor me and just think for a minute of what you feel is the best thing you can leave then I’d love to hear about it. I had previously thought of leaving you (those who read this) with the challenge to write a paragraph blog on what you’ve learned this week and if you feel like you want to do that as well you are more than welcomed to. This though is your one word. What is most important to you that you couldn’t keep just for yourself?

My One Word Blog:

Share

Leave a comment on Facebook or here on WordPress with your one word to leave the world.

Oh My Gosh, It’s September

Posted on by lainamunoz

2012 version of the day… This look back is brought to You by the simplest idea that what You did is enough for me. We spoke in class today about the attributes of G-d that we see the most and also the ones that are hardest for us to accept. For me, I think the one that I see the greatest is also the one that I can’t accept. What He did was enough. His grace is enough. It always has been.

Sometimes it’s hard to realize just how weak I really am; to look at my life and step away from mistakes and trust that His grace covers. Sometimes I allow my sins to look bigger than my G-d – Is the worst kind of sin idolizing sin? Who am I to think Jesus wasn’t enough? But I am a wretch so why should I let go? If I own my sin and repent then I’m covered but if that sin is all I think about and I am blinded to forgiveness then I’m allowing a fallen life to decide what my future looks like.

Repetitive.

There is so much pride in sin – holding on and thinking you can handle it or even worse, not thinking anything of it at all. Sin is delicate, it’s like removing cancer from the brain. Actually, that’s exactly it. Amateurs can’t attempt it because you risk more damage than good. Only the Savior can remove our cancer, our sin, and our human nature from our human self and help us heal. If we try ourselves we usually leave some, which will just come back multiplied.

Father bring me to the light. Walk through this fire with me, perfect Your love in me as I love and forgive others. Remove my pride, break every chain, and help me today to learn a little more of Your grace. Refresh my spirit and remind me of Your miracles, I am abundantly blessed and thankful.

In Anything I Ask Of You Please Know That I Have Faith In You

Posted on by lainamunoz

Writings from when I’m 18 are my favourite… they crack me up and convict me. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

Take this generation and make us rise.
G-d, burn a passion inside of us that will not be satisfied until we see you,
Until we see power, until we see the hurting come to be restored, until we see the weak given strength. G-d until we see you in ourselves. Let it be the uncontrollable need in our lives to see Your glory. To see you lifted high above OUR TEMPORARY PROBLEMS.
Let us place you as first in our lives and let your love be seen in all we do.

I am no longer satisfied
I can’t help but praise Him all of my life
I want to see you glorified

Be Lifted Up

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day about how Owasso doesn’t need to learn who Jesus is… They need to develop a raw, real relationship with the Creator. We live in the Bible belt of America! Everyone knows Jesus but, through their parents abusing them, through confusion and division in the church, through their ‘Christian’ friends inviting them to parties that they themselves don’t feel comfortable going to, their Jesus has been perverted and distorted to exactly what Satan had in mind.

Get up, G-d has called to you a higher standard of living!

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

Huh, Be HOLY, because I am holy
Not because you are worth it. Hum…. hope I don’t shatter anyone’s deep understanding of who they think they are, but then again, if it causes you to understand then fine, I’ll be the mouthy one.
YOU ARE TO BE HOLY BECAUSE G-D IS HOLY AND HE TOLD YOU TO.
You [ I ] don’t deserve the calling
You [ I ] don’t deserve the forgiveness
You [ I ] don’t deserve the love
You [ I ] don’t deserve the challenge

Why?

Because we all fail, we were born in a world with odds stacked against us, but I know that my G-d is big, I know that my G-d has given me all the power through the Holy Spirit and if He tells me to do something how am I supposed to ignore Him?
If you’re on board or not – G-d is moving, G-d has a generation of warriors ready to take the land promised to us and how dare you who know Him sit back and watch us carry out the commands of G-d. Join in, do something for the kingdom. Do something for your King. I’m done waiting, G-d, I want to see this change come to pass, I call an explosion of your love over your people and to flow THROUGH your people.

I call a Holy Reformation of your kids.
I call a Revival to take place in Owasso, in the schools, in our worship, in service to you and to the community, in our very hearts and beings. Make our hearts beat like yours. Let us take every opportunity to do good and not be surprised that it will be hard sometimes. But if we all panz’d out when it got hard than we would accomplish nothing. If you sent your son for us, and he went to the death for us, why can’t we follow him full out even through us being questioned?

In Joshua 1, G-d had already promised him and Moses land and it was finally time to take it.
But some of you guys still don’t feel ready. Guess what? It’s the breaking point, it’s time to decide fully who you are going to be.

“but all your fighting men, fully armed, must cross over ahead of your brothers. You are to help your brothers until the Lord gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land that the Lord your G-d is giving them.”

Some of you guys aren’t ready… But ALL FIGHTING MEN (and WOMEN) of G-d, we are told to continue and help those who need it until they too get rest. But be careful to realize where you are with G-d, all it takes is dedication. Getting out of bed an extra half hour early, PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GIRL FIGHTING TEARS IN THE HALL, Offering to pay for someone’s lunch because you know they can’t afford it, sharing G-d’s love the same way he showed it through Jesus walking among people long ago. The fighting men are ready. A time is coming very soon that G-d wants to use us all, but if you are not willing then I promise, we’ll carry you.

Prepare the way for the Lord to enter in. We must become a people who value righteousness again. Now, we can only stand back and hope to see Him move, or we can be the willing hands of a mighty, living God. Make your choice. Now is the time. But, as for me, I call down fire. God, rain fire.

I believe that God will raise the dead, and He will use these hands to do it. I believe that God will heal the sick. And He has sent me forth to say: “He alone is God. Prepare for His victory.”
-For Today, Elijah

Driving Lessons With Laina

Posted on by lainamunoz

This is unapologetically a songwriter post. Lyrics have always gotten me right in the feelers – at least when they are done correctly they have. I have other friends in the songwriting stream who are absolutely convinced that the music is all that is important in a song, but to me a well constructed story with a beautiful melody is enough to provoke my thoughts for a while.

We were recently singing at a worship night in our lovely home when some lyrics from a very old song just hit me I was captivated.

“You, O Lord, are my strength, my shield

To You, O Lord, may my spirit yield”

I’m such a word-nerd anyway that as soon as the phrase got stuck in my spirit I had to know more about what it actually meant. To Yield: is to give way to. While driving when you yield I get the picture of merging onto a highway – I stop or slow down and look back to see if someone is coming and give them the first go on the path and then I follow suit. You, O Lord, are my strength my shield. You go before me and it’s up to me to stop my spirit, slow down and look to see You coming. I want to live a life where I’m ready to stop or slow down and let you lead the path and guide me. How often do you stop and look back to see if G-d is headed the direction you are trying to go? Is it possible that you can’t yield to what He is doing if you aren’t even headed down the same road? I actually don’t know all the answers but I pray that my heart learns to look for the Saviour and follow after Him.

“You alone are my hearts desire

and I long to worship You”

This is a little on the shorter side but it is something I wanted to share… I feel like I could try to expand on it but all the other words would be filler and less sincere. So I might just leave this as it is. I get in reflective moods and don’t feel like word vomiting. But I hope this finds you as it found me, and leaves you the same as it left me. Realizing the need to be still and know who G-d is and what He is doing. He has good in store for us and if we just look back and see that He is coming the direction that we are headed in becomes a little bit clearer.

Spoiled Society : Liquid

Posted on by lainamunoz

Welcome to part II of the Spoiled Society Series! Few things REALLY get under my skin but entitlement always found it’s way to make my blood boil. Amongst other really unhealthy qualities to hold in your heart is a blinded spirit to how much we have and what our requirements are with those things. We are blessed to be a blessing… If you aren’t giving to something bigger than yourself then I challenge you to realize your part, realize that you only play a fraction of the bigger picture This is more a prayer to G-d from me, to protect my heart, and it still stands. I need You G-d.

I will likely spend more money on QuickTrip this year than some people make as an income in a year – and don’t get me adding up how much Starbucks I buy. I am apart of the spoiled society that has the privilege of choosing. I have a hard time choosing what to drink from the abundance of options. However, lately my heart is broken at the thought that while I’m wasting time trying to figure out if I want a hot or cold Starbucks drink today, others are using their last moments sucking down unclean water that they had to search for that will in the end kill them. I’m a regular at Starbucks; they know my name, my drink order, my boyfriend, and that I’m taking summer classes. Before I had a chance to order my drink they offered me a free Mocha because someone was training. I said no, because it was a hot drink.

I keep thinking about people who have never heard of clean water.

G-d has been using this concept to break my heart. My G-d – His Word is the living water and as bad as people need clean water to drink – it’s nothing close to the severity of how desperately they need our Savior.

Jesus – to the Samaritan women said, “whoever drinks this water” (referring to the water at the well) “will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4.1-26

My G-d has the words that give eternal life.

Later in John, Jesus is telling the Jews, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall never be hungry, whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”

My savior is a satisfying G-d. But how will the others know that He is enough for them? When will we reach out past our Starbucks cups to start to give? To pour into others and search for those with the greatest need and meet it?

However, we trace our lives back to the fact that we are a spoiled society, it’s easier to send money to some organization while we pray we’re not getting ripped off. Conviction is a hard thing to swallow… Passion Tea Lemonade doesn’t make it go down smoother. But what if we change? G-d, continue to break my heart because there IS HOPE. SHOW me what I can do  and give me the heart to do it. Help America, our spoiled society to see the need and realize there is more in this life than just ourselves. There is offered an eternal peace that I couldn’t possibly live being too selfish to keep.

G-d I don’t know how – but if You need me, I’ll go. My comforts aren’t enough to keep me.

“Therefore they are before the throne of G-d, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them in his presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the LAMB in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to the springs of living water, and G-d will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Revelation 7.15-17

Adventure Through They Journey

Posted on by lainamunoz

A little bit shorter of a post today, just processing through some thoughts I journaled out this last week… Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out what all of it means but so far I think it’s a good idea.

Enjoy!

I feel like you asked me if I’d journey with You. At first my thoughts were, ‘naturally, I’m saved – I’m doing this with You’. It’s funny how a word can bring back a full semester of thoughts on this subject. I sent the phrase, “Adventure with many, journey with few” to some close friends to gather thoughts on how they read that sentence. One of them nailed my thoughts on the head by saying ‘adventure SHOULD be done with anyone and everyone – random groups and impromptu trips, you can learn something from everyone, but JOURNEY – do the long haul and ups and downs with a few who you know how to support the “hard”. I thought for a second that you were inviting Yourself on my journey, which was surprising and honoring enough. But then I felt like you meant to be inviting me onto YOURS. To bear the grit and trials You’ve walked through. What an honor to serve with You

Lord, I’d love to journey with You

//oh, seasons//

“Adventure with many, journey with few”

There are loads of things I’ve felt impressed to think and write about lately and it’s been hard to sort out what to say when but this has weighed the heaviest on my heart.

I’ve had to learn over several seasons in my life how to journey with people. I have a few very close friends who I’d pick to do life with over a load of others and it isn’t because they’re even the most fun to be around. It’s because they push me, don’t let me whine and whinge, they don’t let me give up. (( they don’t let me go a Friday without posting ))

But standing in chapel this week (shameless “Go to chapel” plug) I felt like G-d brought this back up with me. He asked me to Journey with Him, which I don’t think I understand the weight of just yet. Honestly I don’t know if I ever will understand. We read scriptures telling us to follow him is to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow but what does that mean?

Journeying for me is becoming a non-optional. Not because its the easiest life ever but because I don’t actually know where else I’d go. I don’t know what else I’d do if it wasn’t what I’m doing now – loving Jesus, learning Jesus and telling others about how awesome He is. Sometimes the road sort of sucks and hurts and has a few spots where it feels like do or die. But at no point have I died yet so I suppose I’ll keep going.

 

Spoiled Society : Literature

Posted on by lainamunoz

Coming from a book-nerd who is currently sitting in the resource center (bookstore) at church all I can think about as I read this again is how unbelievably blessed we are with the freedom of information we are surrounded with. We have been given much more knowledge and freedom of expression than we realize and it’s a shame that we don’t take more advantage of the literature we have access to. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

John 14.15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”

And what does He command? Devotion –

            “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your G-d.” Micah 6.8

G-d requires daily time spent with Him, in His word, seeking Him with all we are.

I have an NIV bible, I have an app on my iPhone with loads of versions of the Bible, it even plays audio. I can instantly read, listen to, and spend time in the Word of my heavenly father. And, guess what? When I do, no one is there telling me I can’t, no one is telling me I’ll lose my life if I study it. My family doesn’t threaten to abandon me; the government officials aren’t holding a gun to my head. The Bible is currently banned in North Korea and throughout time it has been banned in hundreds of areas and people groups. Americans, the people with arguably the most access to G-d’s Word, probably (collectively) know the least about the Bible. Correct me if I’m wrong – please – but list your 10 closest, most “G-dly” friends and think of how often they spend time studying and weeping over the Scriptures. I’ve been reading a book talking about the underground church in Asia and how pastors and people alike will join, cramming in one room and study for hours at a time. For them, this risks all they have.

But for them G-d’s Word is ENOUGH.

Sometimes I only put enough value in the Word of G-d to read one chapter – and even then I settle without understanding it. My G-d has commanded me to walk humbly with Him. Humility reminds me of lying down yourself and chasing after something that has NOTHING to do with you; with how busy you are, or how tired you are. I show my Savior that I love Him by following His commands, how do I know those unless I spend time reading them?

G-d, forgive me for embracing this spoiled societies view on “getting around to it” when millions of people go hungry for Your Word. Change my heart and grow my desire for Your Word. Give my mind new understanding and my soul steadfastness. G-d break off my “Christian cookie” and show me what it is to follow You.

I pledge allegiance to the Bible

G-d’s HOLY WORD

I will make it a lamp unto my feet

and a light unto my path

I will hide its words in my heart

that I might not sin against G-d

There Was an Old Guy Painting in the Park

Posted on by lainamunoz

I always intend to not write these on Fridays, I have a new goal to post them by noon on Fridays (which clearly didn’t happen today, at least not for Australia) because I want to get out of the habit of writing anything on Friday and just editing the final things. In all honesty I have two other posts that I wanted to do today and HAVE been working on those this last week. The thoughts are very near and dear to my heart and very much what I’m learning this week. But then Jesus always throws me something that I can’t shake on a Thursday or Friday.

((maybe I’ll get better at this soon))

Today, it was an old man painting in the park. 

My housemate and I had just worked out at the gym and had our beautiful walk home in front of us; It’s gorgeous here in the Hills today. As we were walking we were recounting all the things that we had the opportunity to hear Erwin McManus speak about last night at Team Night – and we were dreaming about creating. G-d dropped a LOT of things on my heart last night about my ‘art’ and my creativity. Sometimes I have issues with finding exactly what my creativity looks like. I suppose actually, He didn’t drop a lot of things but really just one thing. Words are my art. I feel like He gave me words. I feel like it’s something He’s given me as a gift and whatever capacity I open myself up to be used in – around that area – is what I will get to see happen. I want to song write, and book write, and teach, and speak, and read and learn languages. We have such a limited understanding on how to express what we are really trying to say. So, I guess I want to get good at what seems impossible. I want to be a storyteller and a brilliant communicator because I’ve been healed and feel like I have something beautiful to communicate with the world. Not because I’m good at it per-say but because I’m willing to open my mouth and tell about what G-d has done.

But, I learned something about creating, even the perception of creating can inspire. Even the thought that beauty might be being born somewhere around makes me want to dive deeper into my art. I saw this old man in the park with his easel and paints and wanted to talk to him about his life. I wanted to know what HE found beautiful and how he communicated that to the world. Or, if it was just for himself and maybe a significant someone in his life.  Do you realize that even your efforts to better yourself or communicate to the world around you through what you’re good at and enjoy inspire people?

You make me want to write. And learn.

I’m not the best at what I do (yet). But I’m trying. I’m trying to learn that consistency brings quality. Faithfulness is rewarded and even when I feel like I’m not getting better… just my effort is doing something.

Having said all of that the other thing I’ve been thinking about is the above and beyond G-d… How I’ve heard over and over from people about how they thought their life was going one direction and ended up so much more than they could have imagined. I’m not saying I’ve out imagined the creator… its just makes my heart feel so full it could burst to hold onto knowing that as much as I love all of this, it could be bigger. I’m also sort of looking forward to the day I turn 45 and can look back at what I thought was going to happen, and see by then how much MORE He’s done.

What’s that G-d? I can’t even dream up enough of what it means to journey with You? Cool. Bring it on.

Ugh, the more I learn about G-d the more I realize I need Him. This is a pretty cool place to be.

Only Tools Don’t Exercise

Posted on by lainamunoz

Fitness has been pretty important to me since about 17 years old, at first it was the realization that I was (slowly) becoming an adult and with that I gained the ability to choose my diet and learn what different foods did and the benefit of them. As I learned more and more about food and exercising the health aspect caught my full attention. I want to do way too many things in my lifetime not to remain healthy and able to do so. I want to live long and have children later in life and be able to love them and live well with them. All of that aside when I was around 21 I got sad, probably depressed (knowing me that’s really hard to admit and see) a little sometimes as well and needed something to help.

Again, I found myself at the feet of fitness knowing that there was a chemical release of endorphins that were absolutely GREAT for the sad seasons.

Exercising is a funny word, it doesn’t just apply to fitness and working out but also academics. We do math exercises and reading exercises to develop a specific ability that we have (and you DO have it, it might be small right now but change is possible). We also do exercises to expand what we know. In our songwriting class this week we were given an exercise to write a song in a week. Not a huge deal but we are only allowed to work on it 10 minutes a day. Gasps, grumbles and questions rolled around the classroom as many students tried to find all the loopholes when finally one of my classmates said,

“I can’t write a song like that, it’s just not how I write”

Hmm, well… Good thing this is an exercise, good thing that it’s literally made to develop a skill you didn’t have before. I’ve seen a change in the structure of my muscles since I started working out, I’ve added more and more weight to what I do because as I exercise those muscles that just ‘don’t write songs that way’ I find this crazy truth that I LEARN how to write songs that way. I learn how to pick up more weight.

I never want to be anywhere if I’m not teachable. I never want to roll up anywhere thinking my way is the only way. I actually think I still have a LOT to learn.

Something begins to happen when you work out though; you push yourself past the stresses of the day, past the overthinking and the limits that you allowed yourself to believe in. G-d has been constantly bringing up ‘Mental Blocks’ this semester. What I mean by this is, I’m reminded frequently of the power that the mind holds and when we allow a negative thought to solidify. Sometimes the thought isn’t even negative –sometimes it’s just limiting which is just as bad if you ask me. It’s baffling to me how much MORE I can accomplish with a simple “Laina, you’re almost there” that I either tell myself on my last 5 reps of a squat or that Krysia will remind me of as we are doing the last 30 sit ups. It’s releasing to believe that you can accomplish more.

When someone tells me I CAN write a song in 10 minutes a day for 7 days then all the sudden I push past the thoughts that I can’t. I firmly believe the mind is something to be trained just as much as the body. I, as a woman have the privilege of stereotypically being an over thinker – oh, and I fit it to a T. I’m currently on a 21 day fast of my thoughts, I’m fasting my overthinking and rewiring my mind to trust in peace and clarity and promises that I’ve already been given. I believe in mental healing as much as anything else. I think that pushing yourself develops that brain muscle that we all should probably take a little more time for. Even if it is something as simple as telling yourself that ‘G-d hasn’t given you the spirit or mindset of fear but of peace and love and a SOUND mind’ or remembering to ‘trust G-d with ALL of our hearts, lean not on our own understanding but in all our ways acknowledging Christ and HE will guide you’. Let your mind be at peace but always increasing.

This isn’t a fitness motivation post, although I do believe in treating your body well. This IS an exercise post though… work out… do the things that will develop your mind and the areas of your life that (suck) are underdeveloped. If you need a friend, find one. If you can’t find a friend, be a better friend (that one is for free). Invest enough in yourself to start breaking mental blocks that tell you, ‘you can’t’.

It’s a load of crap and all it takes to get over is a good work out session.