Own this heart broke sound // singing Holy is Your Name
Lord, would you own the broken worship sang from hearts so full of anxiety that they aren’t even singing anymore? Would you claim it as your own and allow it to be our true and proper worship? Let our minds align with Yours and focus on Your name even if that’s the only singing we can do. Sometimes to battle in our minds is the only worship we can afford.
There isn’t much you can do when you’re full of anxiety except to sit and think – and overthink. I’ve heard a murmuring of that word a lot lately – in prayer requests, in conversations, in other blogs on “how to deal with your friend with anxiety”.
But it only preaches if we give it a voice.
I’m not typically one of those “weird Christians” because they’re weird. But I AM done giving a voice to anxiety because as soon as I do I can’t tell the difference between it and my own. You see anxiety is a master mimicker and picks up lingo faster than a teenager trying to be cool. But its skill in daily sounding more and more like me makes it harder to kill because then, if I miss, I feel like I’m removing some of myself as well.
I have had my anxiety journey and I must admit to you all, I’m not having any more of it. But this time my fight isn’t really for me – I’ve in the past struggled with empathy, but I get this one. I get this fight and I understand the frustration. Something in me sparks and stirs when I see my college prayer requests full of my peers struggling. I instantly feel it right where my heart holds stress – which I guess I don’t mind holding (for now) so long as you know I’m praying. I’m just done. I’m done having this be a crippling part of our leadership and I’m done with it being a hindrance on my friends being fully who they are. I’m done with the shortness of breath. I’m done with the cloudy thoughts. I’m done with any one of you who might be reading this being less than who you were made to be.
Own this sound forever // heart and heaven together
I’m just so thankful that He owns us – that Jesus would call us HIS well before we can fathom what that means. I’m thankful for this community, however broken, and their journey to wholeness and freedom.
Family, you aren’t fighting alone.
I know we love to say that and believe that, but if I have one thing catching my attention in church life and chapels it’s depression and anxiety. I need you to know that when you’re too exhausted to try that you’re COVERED.
((There are no principles in this blog… just prayers.