Assessments, Assignments and Assassinations

This is a very collegiate post; not in the sense that it will be educated and polished, but simply an update on how college is for me. The first few weeks of HILC (Hillsong International Leadership College) was full of the same three questions that we now all make jokes about.

  • What is your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • What stream are you in?

Super boring, totally doesn’t provide the best means to get to know anyone… We ask in hopes that from that 1. The new intake student will then begin rambling their life story in order that we can figure out if we are a good pair for friendship or 2. It will keep the conversation going until the next ‘activity’ or thing happens so that it isn’t awkward. Now that we are past that we are getting a morphed version of the same set. If we happen to run into someone that we don’t know (which at Hills campus happens ALL the time) the questions look like this:

  • What is your name?
  • What intake are you?
  • What stream are you in?
  • How do you like college so far?

To which, every Hillsong student replied, “SO good!”

So, How DO I like college so far?

It’s an important question to ask myself if I’m being honest. How am I enjoying life? How am I really?

I’m alright, I think that’s the most honest answer I can give. We have first semester performances coming up in roughly 2 ½ weeks, which is exciting and nerve-racking when you take a step back and realize what you signed up for. We have a larger assessment on Amos coming up the week before. The assessments are hard, not as in they are difficult to get the answers but sometimes they’re hard to think about the answers. They can be lengthy but mostly the fact is that we are being asked questions that we have PROBABLY been asked before but this time we are required to actually give an answer. An educated and leadership minded answer. We are thinking about our futures in ministry and the Kingdom and how this all relates to our relationships with Jesus. It’s just a little different when life becomes real.

So as you see, the busy is starting to hit a little harder. It isn’t impossible; it’s just more entertaining to get your assessments in when G-d is sifting your heart in the process. I feel like this season has taken so many different turns in direction and what I’m learning about. It doesn’t feel as if G-d is changing the call on my life and my passions but it does feel like He is moving me forward in all of what He HAS called me to do, which just looks different – it looks more aggressive, it looks more like praying constantly because the farther I get into this the less I feel like I know what I am doing. What a tense beauty life is becoming.

Along with the turning things in and thinking through things, I feel like G-d has been dropping just as many things to let go of. He is asking me to put to death insecurities that I legitimately didn’t realize that I had. I was talking with some of my Songwriting class about how we came here feeling like we were adults and pretty set as far as our thoughts on how our relationship with G-d was and soon came to realize how much more work Jesus has to do on us. Ugh, it’s a mess. I’m a mess.

This is just a brief update this week… just thought it would be good to let you all know the practical side of how life is lately.

Hopefully this is short, sweet and to the point

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