Patience | Story Time With Laina

Attitude Check

Posted on September 10, 2015 by lainamunoz

I reckon I still deal with this is many ways and in some other ones I just look back and laugh at myself. I have for sure had plenty of opportunity in these last 5 or so years to practice patience and see growth in that area of my life. I think I’m just finding that there is no ‘fix all’. It’s just a matter of waking up and needing Jesus.

Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

I’ve found out something about myself tonight: I am not patient.

I’m in Georgia for Christmas and my cousin has been on a crocheting kick. I’ve known for a while how to do a simple chain stitch (for those who aren’t over 40 or weren’t homeschooled and don’t know what that is – it’s the simplest and most basic stitch you can crochet). For a short time I thought it was super interesting that one piece of yarn could end up making a full hat, scarf, or even blanket. I decided to expand my knowledge on this old-woman hobby and learn how to make a scarf. Except, my patience over break is low and I lost interest and ended up making a ring instead of sitting there for hours making a scarf.

Renee made a scarf. It looks nice.

I don’t like crocheting because while you’re in the process it doesn’t look like you’re accomplishing anything. I hate projects that don’t look like what they’re supposed to look like for a long time. Over this break I have also taken up the art or craft or need to make friendship bracelets (some of you will be getting these for Christmas… act surprised). While you’re in the process of making them they look NOTHING like what they are supposed to. I hate it. I didn’t like sitting there working on something that took forever and hardly looked the way it needed to in the end. In an expressive fit of exhaustion from not understanding how to make the dumb things I told my mom, “I hate things that don’t look right till they’re done!”

There is magic in hearing things out loud, or even paying attention to yourself.

I’ve been fighting this season in my life for a long time now. It’s been going on since probably around April, it got hard in June, and close to unbearable in September. I don’t like sitting in this place where I don’t feel I’m the person I’m supposed to be. I’m NOT good at enjoying the process of letting G-d take strand by strand; hook by hook; trial by trial; glory to glory and making me into something. And I have to be honest about this, at 20 years old that makes me sad.

I’m not sure why I didn’t just come out loving that part of life – the part where you are being built but I didn’t.

I do know that I am the only person who can change myself; more that I’m the only one who can let myself change. G-d does the changing. But sometimes He can’t change you if you don’t realize you need it. Somehow in the moment of wanting to quit on the bracelets and realizing that I had something wrong with me, deeply wrong with me I needed change.

((PFT, this was like an hour ago I NEED CHANGE G-D.))

Lord, please help me, I’m a 20 year old girl who needs an attitude check. I don’t want to be blind to the process and maybe there is even something inside of me that wants to ENJOY the process. But I know I can’t change that about myself alone, I NEED YOU.

Bleh.

I’m in love with G-d and G-d’s in love with me. This is who I am, He’ll change me to who I need to be.

Learning To Love To Watch The Paint Dry

Posted on April 2, 2015 by lainamunoz

We are given the same allotment of space each day to choose to fill. It becomes valuable when it is spent and becomes more when there is less. We have the same amount each week but some weeks we take the time to pay attention to those sections of space, we focus on the moments and the opportunities and we focus on the time we literally can’t do anything except for be. There is no other thing more valuable and more exchangeable than this. So I suppose I’ll continue my pondering from thinking back to timing and thinking this week on waiting. I appreciate what G-d has given me an opportunity to do and what He will allow me to do while I spent my days with Him. Enjoy.

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and //take heart// and wait for the LORD.”

Psalms 27:14

“The LORD gives strength to His people; the LORD //blesses His people with peace.//”

Psalms 29:11

Several times in this adventure of living with 7 beautiful women we have all, or a majority of us have had to be leaving our house at the same time. When this is the case, it’s unspoken and understood that we are going to try to walk together – but, as I’ve stated, I live with 7 other women so getting ready together and on time is doable but not always achieved.

No bother though, when someone isn’t ready to walk out the door, we wait. In our waiting what we are doing is showing that we have the courtesy to remain in their presence until they say ‘go’. What I find interesting is that even when we (I) claim that we are (I am); we (I) hardly have the same consideration in waiting on the LORD.

We sometimes lack the respect to show G-d our patience of remaining in His presence until He says ‘go’.

And beyond that, we are given the command to wait, It’s not just a suggestion we are told once and reminded once in the same scripture to wait.

“I’m not good at waiting”

Good, if we are relying on your strength we’d of given up years ago. What still baffles me about scripture is that we are given commands AND ALSO everything we need to carry out those commands. ‘The LORD gives strength to his people, the LORD blesses us with peace‘

We have all we need, given by G-d – to OBEY G-d.

To ‘take heart’ we are to take up encouragement, it is to be comforted or to buck up. WAIT for the LORD – sit in His presence and be encouraged, be lifted as you spend time with Him until He says, “Ok, we’re ready” And, wait for the LORD.

G-d is not redundant; there is meaning behind His words and His expression to us. G-d is repetitive and not because He wants to say it twice but because maybe we need to hear it twice. He alone enables us with the peace to sit; it’s your choice to be there long enough to receive whatever He is offering to give.

“Be strong” – What a paradox, I know of no other situation than in G-d’s word where you become stronger by sitting. Again, we see a command that personally doesn’t make sense until we skip forward to the blessing of Jesus being our LORD. “The LORD gives strength to his people”. We don’t have enough on our own but He has it for us. May He always be enough…

((Calm down kid, He has this))

He hasn’t left us with this daunting calling that we will never in our lifetime see completed. He isn’t holding our promise over our heads, He is inviting us to take our load to Him and to receive every blessing from His hands that He wants to give us. He is just asking us to wait for Him, and to wait WITH him, and while we are waiting to allow the supernatural creator to give us what we need for today. He isn’t trying to turn us into the Hulk, He’s just trying to bless us and give us our strength for today.

And may peace surround you, even now, even as you sit in your home, a coffee shop, church, your car, school may the peace of Christ which passes all understanding guard your heart. Our hearts take the worst beatings of all and there has been no other way I’ve known comfort to this level other than when I cried out to G-d. I pray that peace floods in and that you are encouraged, that you’re uplifted, that you are strengthened and revived to your best.

G-d knows what He is doing and He doesn’t want you to miss out. Wait on Him.

Even when you’re uncomfortable and feel silence deeper than you hear the truth.

The fact is that it IS STILL the truth. Allow the Words of G-d to sit with you. He has good for you. He is good TO YOU. Find the beauty in obedience as it comes to being with the Savior. And I pray that in His perfect timing you’d begin to ‘go’ WITH Him.