Jesus blog

But, What Do I Do With My Hands?

Posted on by lainamunoz

I suppose sometimes the task is really just to continue. 

As per usual, I’m preaching to myself and praying that someone gets something out of it as well.

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Psalms 23

Lately, I’ve admitted to others and heard from friends as well, that we have no idea what we are doing. We know G-d has a special plan and intent for our lives and at this season we are sure we are where we need to be. But It seems all the sudden as if G-d has gone silent. Maybe we are bad at listening? Maybe, we don’t lie well in green pastures? Maybe we feel awkward around still waters? Maybe we really just aren’t sure what to do with our hands?

I’m bad at this

You tell me in your word that you LEAD me by quiet waters… I, in my own person and self and thoughts and decisions LOVE the beach and love to be by the beach and take a nap in the sun listening to the crashing waves. But, when JESUS tries to lead me there in that place of resting with Him and sitting in the season I’m in – I tend to freak out. I feel left out or forgotten even though I know what the Bible tells me about Him never leaving or forsaking me. Why the heck do I do this? I imagine like most things it is a lack of awareness of what G-d just might be trying to do. A few days ago I finally found a settlement in my spirit that it’s time to sit here. I’m where I belong so its time to BE HERE. Not exactly new news but its for sure something I needed to remember. It’s ok to sit in the silent seasons with G-d, sometimes He actually wants to restore us.

I’m well aware that G-d knows my heart better than I do so the trusting is pretty easy, the feelings sometimes suck though.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” Psalms 13:5-6

G-d, you’ve BEEN and you will be. Your love has never given up on me. Your salvation is final and such a gift. I will sing praise to You. You’ve been so good. I’m going to learn how to teach my spirit to praise you no matter what I feel and trust You hear me. “I call on you, O G-d, for you answer me.” Psalms 17:6

What I DO know is that G-d is faithful.

So may I find myself with my hands where they belong, in surrender of all the things that stress me out, giving up the things that are hard for me to look past. May I be found with my hands on my heart, sitting with the father and knowing that He has me sitting this season for a purpose. 

He’s doing a new thing but He is also remembering to wake the sun up each morning and tuck it away each night. He is calling His kids home but He is also sending them out to preach Jesus. He is telling you to keep moving forward with what you started so that He might finish and complete the work in you that He intended you to live out.

Scrabit: Posture

Posted on by lainamunoz

The fun thing about writers block is: deadlines. The only way to get unstuck while telling your story is to continue living.

I have been moved through various stances or postures over the last few years in my walk with Jesus and I’ve take them on as apart of my calling. I felt this was appropriate since it was G-d who was teaching them to me. The fall of 2013 was difficult for me, I was fearful to the brim and that began leaking into my relationships and life. Until one day G-d spoke to me, He began to push me ever so slightly in an invitation to move.

I found out quickly that the only way to walk past the fears that I had was literally to walk PAST them.

I was afraid of ministry, men and my calling. So He called me to jump. It was as if there was a ledge of opportunity in each area and all He wanted me to do was posture myself with my arms in the air in surrender; in a free fall straight into the things He had for me. I was challenged to jump to see if I could fly. I was curious if He would catch me. I signed up for our college worship team, I told a boy I liked him, I began again to sing. I literally felt like I was living my life in surrender, arms wide and high in the air and no way of getting back to where I was. I was to become more of who I was created to be:

a child of the King in full surrender. A kid who just wanted her Dad’s will.

Fast forward to moving back in with my parents. I was quite literally called ‘home’ by G-d. I looked for a place of my own and felt no peace about any of the beautiful apartments I was walking in – none of these were going to be my next place to grow. I had a calling on my heart to grow my relationship with my parents, which I thought was weird because I already had a relationship with them, but it was supposed to be more. G-d began taking me on this daily journey of being their daughter. He wanted me to learn how to lean on them and ask them for help. He wanted me to learn how to place myself sitting crisscross with my arms resting palms up on my legs.

The Lord was teaching me how to receive.

I had developed a lot of pride in my work growing up because I worked ALL THE TIME. I invested who I was and all of my days into what I was DOING. I had no room to allow my heart the ability to ASK. Receiving was awkward for me because I didn’t think I needed anything. If I needed something I would have just worked and got it myself but I stunted my growth in being a good daughter in this way. I didn’t know how to allow my parents the joy of being a parent… and I didn’t know how to be G-d’s kid.

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV)

G-d needed me to learn how to be a child so that I could learn how to receive from HIM. It works both ways and I firmly feel He has been posturing me in this last season to receive.

And let me tell you, His goodness is great.

More recently; I’ll admit this has only been about two weeks – The Lord spoke to me about getting on my knees. It was during worship at Elevate, He whispered quietly and reminded me how holy and worthy He is and how much He deserves this honor. For lack of a better word I felt He demanded honor and who was I to not respect that? So we carried on with service while Cass Langton was speaking about what wears on our hearts and what burdens us. As she was speaking I began to realize that I too had a weight on me that I hadn’t noticed because I thought I was good. At the end of service she had us get on our knees and allow G-d to refresh us. There is something about getting on your knees that helps you really hear G-d. There is something honorable about seeking Him out while you position yourself to remember how holy He is. ((And dang, He is Holy.))

“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord G-d Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come… Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him…” Revelation 4

I’m a writer; I’m ALSO a songwriter; I’m ALSO a people, so lyrics speak to me and get stuck in my head… Seryn puts this concept beautifully of what we find when we get on our knees:

On my knees I can see / where my heart needs to be

/ when this life gets to me / I’ll be found on my knees /

Lord, may I be found in your presence on my knees

 Now, if I may propose one last position – this is a position of BOLDNESS. Boldness is a position because a stance is a movement. Boldness moves you forward, boldness sticks you out and boldness is a noticeable posture amongst a crowd of followers. We are the leaders of many in the next generation and the only way we will show the light of the King is by a mark of confidence that can only come from G-d. I want to position myself to always be bold, I want to live in the position that if G-d doesn’t turn up, then I’m done.

I want to live out faith even when I can’t understand, love even when I’m struggling to do it well, hope even when there isn’t a way I can see. I want to live out fearlessness because my victor is a King.

I want to live out who I KNOW I am being called to be. My stance is active because in a world where you have something to say you will always have something speak against you. We become a moving target when we are sitting deep in the message of Christ. We are the beginning of open season for the attacks the devil might have for us but greater is He that dwells inside of me than who the devil even thinks he is.

I’m still learning how to live out all of these positions but G-d has and is calling me to physically MOVE myself into these postures so that I might feel the full surrender, learn to accept all the wonderful things G-d wants to impart on me. He wants me to seek and find him sitting in respect for Him as HE refreshes me and He is calling me to do all of this boldly before the throne with a confidence…

that HE HEARS ME.

HE SEES ME,

And HE LOVES ME.

Thank you Jesus.

Sometimes you just gotta move.

Second Notch Creativity

Posted on by lainamunoz

For a good bit of my teenage and young adult life I’ve been on a “Creative Team”. There has been a small thread of creativity in all that I’ve done for as long as I can remember: 30 day art challenges, creative writing classes, being in a band and writing music, writing words and trying to make them sound good, arts and crafts at miscellaneous classes growing up and trying to paint when I’m bored. What is funny is that the thread I have found is not any bit of matter that I can find in the make up of me. The creative stitch in my life is simply the Creator showing off in me. Being on a creative team scares the hell out of me (metaphorically, ironically and a little bit literally) because making something out of nothing seems impossible – much less creating something out of my thought process.

Terrifying.

But, I keep being placed on these teams which grounds me back into my roots, calling on G-d daily in this process of trying to create. I am not creative because I am but because HE IS. I can create because I was made in the Creators image (Genesis 1:27). I can come up with ideas because He is good and shares and has placed them in me to give. I am wrong sometimes, and this might be one of those times but I believe in a G-d who gives to His people when they have a willing heart to give to His people. Does He give more than we need? Absolutely! Abundantly! Is it given when we are stingy with our gifts? Eh, why would it be?

Lets break this down:

Construction of the Tabernacle

30Then Moses said to the people of Israel, “See, the LORD has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hus, of the tribe of Judah; 31and he has filled him with the Spirit of G-d, with skill, with intelligence, with knowledge, and with all craftsmanship, 32to devise artistic designs, to work in gold and silver and bronze, 33in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, for work in every skilled craft. 34And he has inspired him to teach, both him and Oholiab the son of Ahisamach of the tribe of Dan. 35He has filled them with skill to do every sort of work done by an engraver or by a designer or by an embroiderer in blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twinned linen, or by a weaver – by any sort of workman or skilled designer. Bezalel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whom the LORD has put skill and intelligence to know how to do any work in the contraction of the sanctuary shall work in accordance with all that the LORD has commanded.”

Exodus 35:30-35; Exodus 36:1 ESV ((wait, read that again))

Lets take a look at some very important things:

  • I can ALMOST pronounce every name in this passage of scripture

  • I use Exodus in an example

  • I am proud of both of those things

  • I don’t see how I could add to the depth of this scripture so I’m going to point out a few things I believe you all have already seen. Because this is my blog and you are reading it so we get to act like I’m teaching something.

Onward from that, this passage is Moses (clearly) telling the story of the construction of a tabernacle; G-ds dwelling place. G-d chose and called by name a man and filled him with the Spirit of G-d. There was, again, nothing inside of this man apart from G-d that was creative.

It was the Spirit of G-d IN HIM

Not only did the LORD fill him with creativity but also with skill to put that creativity from brain to paper to gold. The LORD gave him intelligence not only to know how to create but to know how to finish, also I believe the LORD gave him intelligence for respect among his people to be a leader who can carry out this calling. G-d gave him knowledge… this is cool. He didn’t have to go rent and read “Holy Dwellings for Dummies” the LORD supernaturally and superSpiritually imparted him with KNOWLEDGE to know what he was doing. And lastly to Bezalel he gave ALL CRAFTSMANSHIP not some craftsmanship (skill in a particular craft), not even a fine amount of craftsmanship (being really good at a particular craft), but the LORD gave him ALL (He is abundantly, overwhelmingly more than we can ask or think). I have been to a decent amount of cathedrals and FAAAAANCY churches and I can only think about this story and what a dwelling place of the most high G-d would look like with such heavenly disclosure of creativity. Mmm, glory.

And this is where it gets really exciting for me. G-d has placed me in the creative stream here at Hillsong College and I’m in love. But, I’m also broken because my heart longs for the pastoral side of life. I love caring for people’s hearts and believing in their dreams, I love writing, teaching, preaching and speaking. I love sharing my heart and you can’t always do that in a 4-minute song. “And He (G-d) has inspired him (Bezalel) to TEACH…” Bezalel was given the opportunity to mix the intelligence and knowledge that came alongside the creativity in the Spirit of G-d to GIVE all that he knew to two more men, and they too were given G-d’s Spirit and creativity.

          Lord, you are the one I’m seeking. I’ve been placed in positions that I cannot do without you and I never would want to try. I want your Spirit to not only live in me but also live through me. I want to be obedient in the little things, sensitive in the creative callings and teachable so that I may teach. I can’t apologize for wanting it all because it was You that knit these desires into my heart in the first place. Bring it on G-d; the challenges, the obstacles and the opportunities to learn a little more about listening. Lord, let me teach and see more in them than they do. Let someone else grow through my life being a blessing to them and a cultivating personality for their gifts. May I work in accordance with what You command.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Psalms 139:14 ESV