But, What Do I Do With My Hands?

I suppose sometimes the task is really just to continue. 

As per usual, I’m preaching to myself and praying that someone gets something out of it as well.

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Psalms 23

Lately, I’ve admitted to others and heard from friends as well, that we have no idea what we are doing. We know G-d has a special plan and intent for our lives and at this season we are sure we are where we need to be. But It seems all the sudden as if G-d has gone silent. Maybe we are bad at listening? Maybe, we don’t lie well in green pastures? Maybe we feel awkward around still waters? Maybe we really just aren’t sure what to do with our hands?

I’m bad at this

You tell me in your word that you LEAD me by quiet waters… I, in my own person and self and thoughts and decisions LOVE the beach and love to be by the beach and take a nap in the sun listening to the crashing waves. But, when JESUS tries to lead me there in that place of resting with Him and sitting in the season I’m in – I tend to freak out. I feel left out or forgotten even though I know what the Bible tells me about Him never leaving or forsaking me. Why the heck do I do this? I imagine like most things it is a lack of awareness of what G-d just might be trying to do. A few days ago I finally found a settlement in my spirit that it’s time to sit here. I’m where I belong so its time to BE HERE. Not exactly new news but its for sure something I needed to remember. It’s ok to sit in the silent seasons with G-d, sometimes He actually wants to restore us.

I’m well aware that G-d knows my heart better than I do so the trusting is pretty easy, the feelings sometimes suck though.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” Psalms 13:5-6

G-d, you’ve BEEN and you will be. Your love has never given up on me. Your salvation is final and such a gift. I will sing praise to You. You’ve been so good. I’m going to learn how to teach my spirit to praise you no matter what I feel and trust You hear me. “I call on you, O G-d, for you answer me.” Psalms 17:6

What I DO know is that G-d is faithful.

So may I find myself with my hands where they belong, in surrender of all the things that stress me out, giving up the things that are hard for me to look past. May I be found with my hands on my heart, sitting with the father and knowing that He has me sitting this season for a purpose. 

He’s doing a new thing but He is also remembering to wake the sun up each morning and tuck it away each night. He is calling His kids home but He is also sending them out to preach Jesus. He is telling you to keep moving forward with what you started so that He might finish and complete the work in you that He intended you to live out.

We All Struggle With Forward Motion

To be salt and light in the world//

to bring life to the dead in heart//

and see things change//

to be less so you can be more//

This is our POSITION Lord.

That many would serve You and know Your glory through the way we live. That we live consumed.

This is our DESIRE G-d.

To follow Your call and move mountains. To move when You tell us and stand when You command.

This is our RESPONSE Jesus.

To draw close to You when our emotions and circumstances are trashed. To seek You BEFORE we don’t see another way.

This is our MOVEMENT Father.

To be broken beyond the point of repair so that something new HAS to happen for us to continue.

This is our CHANGE.

I charge you to be different, to CHANGE. To not let another day pass that you see things as hopeless. But, to grow up, go on and be responsible for the MOVEMENT that is taking place. That your actions might be pure and what has been stirring inside of you would move from being your opinion to your action. That what you feel inside would move from being your thoughts to your RESPONSE. Let your passions arise and don’t be afraid of your DESIRE. Fellow warrior, what is a pain on your heart for your classmates, co-workers, family, and friends has been placed by the living G-d. He NEEDS you to rise and take your stand on who you are (who are you?). Let your POSITION on the outside reflect that which has been placed on your heart. G-d is ready and waiting. Lets get there friends. Go on.

“Therefore let us leave the elementary teaching about Christ and GO ON to maturity, not laying AGAIN the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in G-d,”

– Hebrews 6:1

17 February 2010


26 March 2014

I love reading old writings because it’s almost a personal history book. I get to think back and remember the points in my life where I was passionate, where I was deeply hurt, the adventures I was blessed enough to go on and the people I was fortunate enough to meet. Recently I was talking with a flatmate about journaling and I remembered that I brought one of my journals along the way to Australia with me. I flipped through the beginning of it remembering Ireland in 2010, how close my friends got and how we truly got to see the Acts church lived out. We ate breakfast together and did devotionals around the table and we served together. I got to fast forward in my journal to the three week tour that I was blessed to be apart of: traveling with our worship team and drama team to Wisconsin and New York to do ministry. Again, I saw my friends get closer to form this family that (at the time) had no idea what was coming. I got to record Reggie’s words of wisdom when he told us this group would never be the same again, and it never has been.

I continued reading to find the day I got engaged. I found the journey of almost breaking off the engagement and the marriage and the divorce. The back 30% of my journal is walking through being alone. At this point Hine pointed something out that again solidified my passion for writing. She explained that G-d knew the season I was about to walk into which is cool that He allowed the front half of my journal to be filled with some of my most memorable and life changing travels that I’ve been on yet. He knew that I’d take a bit scattered hit to writing and that the few times I would sit long enough to get my heart out would be filled with depression and pain. He prepared me before even though I didn’t recognize it until 4 years later in a simple conversation about journaling.

I learned a few things from glancing over those writings:

  • I got to see how much G-d has done in the last 4 years of my life.
  • I saw my prayers answered as He drew near to me.
  • I remembered to pray over my little traveling family as we are and have been ALL over the world since that point.
  • I found a chunk of G-ds faithfulness that I didn’t let myself see
  • I got to place point my growth, knowing that I haven’t started over again but I have (by G-d’s grace) GONE ON from immaturity.

I had no idea that when I was writing these words (about a year before I got married) that I would be giving myself a mandate to continue in Christ. To let my actions move me forward and not sit where I’ve been. G-d was preparing me then, He is with me now. What a wonderful thing to look back and be challenged and realize you’re not where you’ve been.

Move Forward

G-d never left me