Creating

Quality, Quantity: Both and Neither

Posted on by lainamunoz

*Downtown Tulsa – Shades of Brown. Hot and fresh chai tea lattes in hand – you know, the ones that taste like Christmas if Christmas was a marshmallow. The background music is even farther away with the sounds of the kitchen staff yelling through the teatime rush and I am staring out the window trying to collect my thoughts*

Thing 1: “Whats going on Laina?”

Thing 2: “… I think sometimes my standard for myself is too high, or maybe that it’s just high enough and I don’t forgive myself well enough.” 

I’m sure from this point they break out into High School Musical-type song but I’m not songwriting today.

I was reminded again this week of my passion, which is funny enough because I continue to do what I love even when I don’t love it. I made a commitment to write every week (or every day and post once a week) and for the most part I’ve loved what it has taught me. It taught me that I CAN.

I missed two weeks ago and was frustrated with myself until last night. We had a masterclass for the Writers Guild in our creative community where Kylie Beach read to us her Letter To The Poets. Please do take a read, it’s beautiful.

As she read this letter I thought of my daily/weekly commitment and how sometimes I actually miss the mark. Sometimes I write a blog that I hate or feel isn’t my best work and I don’t want to publish it. Sometimes I post on Saturdays even though my goal is Fridays. Sometimes I post at midnight even though my goal is noon. Sometimes (only once in over a year) I actually don’t set the time out to post at all.

Occasionally though, I write a blog that I actually tell my friends in person about (with my real words) because I feel like G-d just might have put His seal of approval over it. But set aside all the good blogs, the bad ones and the ones I haven’t written to be judged yet and I still have a need inside of me to write my heart out.

“Creativity is sacred, and it is not sacred.
What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all.
We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits.
We are terrified, and we are brave.
Art is a crushing chore and a wonderful privilege.
Only when we are at our most playful can divinity finally get serious with us. Make space for all these paradoxes to be equally true inside your soul, and I promise—you can make anything.
So please calm down now and get back to work, okay?
The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.”
– Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, Elizabeth Gilbert

What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all. I could never post again and what G-d wants to accomplish though my writing will still happen if I continue to seek Him. But, I could continue to post every week and grow, learn discipline and correct my sometimes terrible grammar. I can read articles on what makes a great blog, how to edit, study literature and use all the tags on WordPress… But at the end of the day my prayer is that if any of what I write is what you need to read – that it finds you timely. And if anything I need to learn is something that you’re creating, that you’d be brave enough to create, share and discipline yourself in your craft. I promise – you can make anything.

*I’ve never read Big Magic before but this quote was shared last night as well…
I’ve attached a link to the book on Amazon for some birthday ideas, or some random gift ideas, or some
“Happy Friday” ideas. So. That’s that.

There Was an Old Guy Painting in the Park

Posted on by lainamunoz

I always intend to not write these on Fridays, I have a new goal to post them by noon on Fridays (which clearly didn’t happen today, at least not for Australia) because I want to get out of the habit of writing anything on Friday and just editing the final things. In all honesty I have two other posts that I wanted to do today and HAVE been working on those this last week. The thoughts are very near and dear to my heart and very much what I’m learning this week. But then Jesus always throws me something that I can’t shake on a Thursday or Friday.

((maybe I’ll get better at this soon))

Today, it was an old man painting in the park. 

My housemate and I had just worked out at the gym and had our beautiful walk home in front of us; It’s gorgeous here in the Hills today. As we were walking we were recounting all the things that we had the opportunity to hear Erwin McManus speak about last night at Team Night – and we were dreaming about creating. G-d dropped a LOT of things on my heart last night about my ‘art’ and my creativity. Sometimes I have issues with finding exactly what my creativity looks like. I suppose actually, He didn’t drop a lot of things but really just one thing. Words are my art. I feel like He gave me words. I feel like it’s something He’s given me as a gift and whatever capacity I open myself up to be used in – around that area – is what I will get to see happen. I want to song write, and book write, and teach, and speak, and read and learn languages. We have such a limited understanding on how to express what we are really trying to say. So, I guess I want to get good at what seems impossible. I want to be a storyteller and a brilliant communicator because I’ve been healed and feel like I have something beautiful to communicate with the world. Not because I’m good at it per-say but because I’m willing to open my mouth and tell about what G-d has done.

But, I learned something about creating, even the perception of creating can inspire. Even the thought that beauty might be being born somewhere around makes me want to dive deeper into my art. I saw this old man in the park with his easel and paints and wanted to talk to him about his life. I wanted to know what HE found beautiful and how he communicated that to the world. Or, if it was just for himself and maybe a significant someone in his life.  Do you realize that even your efforts to better yourself or communicate to the world around you through what you’re good at and enjoy inspire people?

You make me want to write. And learn.

I’m not the best at what I do (yet). But I’m trying. I’m trying to learn that consistency brings quality. Faithfulness is rewarded and even when I feel like I’m not getting better… just my effort is doing something.

Having said all of that the other thing I’ve been thinking about is the above and beyond G-d… How I’ve heard over and over from people about how they thought their life was going one direction and ended up so much more than they could have imagined. I’m not saying I’ve out imagined the creator… its just makes my heart feel so full it could burst to hold onto knowing that as much as I love all of this, it could be bigger. I’m also sort of looking forward to the day I turn 45 and can look back at what I thought was going to happen, and see by then how much MORE He’s done.

What’s that G-d? I can’t even dream up enough of what it means to journey with You? Cool. Bring it on.

Ugh, the more I learn about G-d the more I realize I need Him. This is a pretty cool place to be.