OklaHomeSick: Mind, Body, Soul

About four weeks ago I specifically remember telling my friend Maggie, “No it’s ok I don’t really ever get sick I have a great immune system”. One week later I began showing signs of a cold or maybe a flu, I’m not sure but I was in fact sick. Loads of college students were sick so I didn’t think much of it other than the common cold was going around and sucks to suck now I’m sick too. I had a day of being in my bed wondering why the sun was shining if I felt so terrible followed by a few days of forcing myself to school with a bag full of cough drops to keep handy. I got better after 5 days or so but still had a cough and couldn’t breathe all that well. I believe it was about 2 days later when I got sick again.

I wasn’t able to serve or go to class without feeling light headed and I had to give up a pretty cool opportunity that I was excited about. I wasn’t able to do my normal routine of mornings at the coffee shop with Krysia or going to the gym or doing any extra activities. I finally went to the doctor after my lovely friend Maggie was diagnosed with Whooping Cough. I just had a sinus infection but I knew chances of it getting better on it’s own were slim to none with how Christmas-toned my mucus was. I’m feeling much better now and with the advice of my teacher purchased some nasal spray and antihistamines to take every day.

Something happened though in these last three weeks of being sick. I got homesick as well. There is nothing I want more when I don’t feel well than my big queen sized bed and a mommy who will bend over backwards to make sure I have all the soup, Cheez-its, Poweraid and Ice cream I need when I’m sick. My friends here did an incredible job and shout out to Krysia for making me some bomb soup to help me along the way. I just felt weak and wanted to be home.

It seems to always happen that way actually, when my physical body isn’t doing so well neither is my spirit person and in turn neither is my heart. I begin to break down when I’m sick and can’t fight the mental battles on my own. When I have no physical strength in my body it is very difficult to fight the spiritual battles as well. I began fighting feeling overwhelmed and not enough for what I was called to, I began to believe the lies that I didn’t fit in or look pretty enough or thin enough or strong enough to be who I know I am able to be. I’m not at all surprised that when I feel weak I mentally retreat back home. I retreat to the need for my bloodline and the strength in my family. I was sick and just wanted my mommy.

Maybe this is the reason we are commanded, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30) G-d knew (because He created) how connected we were in our body, heart, soul, strength so much so that He knew if we were loving Him fully with one of these we’d be loving Him fully with all of these. We are intricate beings that are connected at every level within us. I can’t explain all of the science but I know that when its sunny out I’m typically happier and when I’m happier I’m more productive and feel better about what I accomplished that day. When I’m sick and its storming outside I’m proud of myself for getting out of bed. When I have the chance to work out consistently I feel a little bolder about who I am and the way I was created and when I’m taking care of myself I’m a little less insecure.

((When I’m sick it’s hard to fight.

I think this is also why we’re commanded to take care of our bodies, we aren’t loving Jesus well with them if we aren’t and if we aren’t loving well with our bodies, our spirit people suffer. We are so beautifully and wonderfully made. G-d knows what He is doing when He tells us to love and serve Him with all of us. We can’t serve with half or we really aren’t serving at all.

Scrabit: Confidence

G-d, thank you for my housemates; You have blessing, provision and healing in store for them. You have favor, a calling and a complete plan for their lives – May I always pray over them in faith, watch in expectation and encourage them in love.

Amen. Let it be.

Jesus, change us this week open our eyes and hearts to new moments with You. Help us to give more than we knew we had in us and learn what we didn’t think we needed to know. You are powerful, holy and refining and my excitement is through the roof with what we will look like after two weeks of intense serving and seeking. Lord, bring a beauty that comes from walking with You. Bring a G-d-radiance that shows others we have been marked; that we have sat in Your presence. I am so excited that I don’t know what to expect, but take my expectation and blow it out of the water. Do what You do. Turn up and change us. Help us love You more.


Bible Thoughts:

“because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:5-6 (NIV)

My source of confidence comes from my Father in heaven ((and HIS goodness and faithfulness)). He has plans and I get to be apart. This confidence comes from spending time with Him and in His word. THIS Confidence says that He has a plan and even in the seasons I feel forgotten I can hold onto the promise that HE WILL CARRY ON THE GOOD WORK IN ME UNTIL COMPLETION. This isn’t just for my ideas of where I want to be, but this is a journey He will take me on until the day of Christ Jesus. G-d will move me forward and complete good work(s) in me, in my roommates, my friends and family until He comes back.

Praise Him. What good things He can do.

More Jesus Time:

“This is the confidence we have in approaching G-d: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” – 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV)

So alongside this confidence conversation…

Lord, when I bring my requests before You – You answer them. You answer me. Your word tells me so. You have perfect in Your plans and I want in. I want to be apart and I can have confidence in You that because of Your words – I will be.

Why pray if you aren’t going to believe that it will come to pass? And where does doubt come from anyway?

                       Old Age.

“If you have faith and do not doubt… you can say to this mountain, “Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” – Matthew 21:21-22 (NIV)

G-d, I’ve asked you to show up. I’ve asked you for hearts healed and mindsets changed and I believe You hear me. I know You see me and love me so now all I can do is praise You for what You will do and leave my expectations with You (Psalms 5:3). Teach me to speak Your word over my life and walk into the callings You have for me. Teach me how to love people with all of me. Guide my conversations and fill them with GRACE for I have been shown much. Lord, Create in me a mind that is productive and give me new revelations to give. I want to keep writing and keep commitments and watch You grow me and change me. I have a dream that LORD willing will come to pass but I need Your creativity. I NEED YOU.

((If you don’t show, I’m screwed.)) 

Why are my prayers important? *Because the Lord hears my prayers. Why do I pray for my housemates? *Because I get to live out the change with them. It’s a faith builder. I speak live and love into and over them and get to see a harvest of the Lords strength and ultimate plan come forth out of their lives. Some concluding thoughts: If you aren’t praying for your roommates, why the heck not? If you aren’t bringing some expectation to your days, why are you wasting your time living them? That sounds wicked boring… I’ve been there. If you aren’t approaching G-d with confidence then what happened where you stopped seeing Him as faithful? as just? as forgiving? as holy?

I never know who will actually read these or when they will read it or what season they will read it in. But I do pray every time that when and if you do come across this that it will be just what you need. Something to challenge you to expand your faith and draw you to the creators heart. But, these are only words. 

G-d, let me be useful. Let me be open to learning what you need me to and even more than that, let me share what I know with those around me.