Love On Your Little Ones

Live your life with children, explore faith with them as well as the back yard. Love them innocently and fiercely because they get it. This #ThinkBackThursday brought to you by 5 years ago – Feb 2011
I can’t explain a lot of the feels I have in my heart for my sister. Sometimes one of my friends will bring her up because it changes my demeanor instantly. I wonder if G-d’s face changes when He thinks about us…
Be blessed, be new and thank you for having a look into the stories that make up my life.

Today was a day that Oklahoma decided to have good weather. I enjoy those. You could hear kids playing in the neighborhood as their parents called for them to come inside for washing up. I had a few friends over and for whatever reason I was parked behind them, so when it was time to say goodbye I had to move my car for them to get out. I pulled my car back and was about out of their way when I see my little sister running down the driveway crying. I’m a softie for her firstly, because she is my sister, but also because when something breaks her heart it usually breaks mine. This wasn’t a scared cry; this wasn’t a hunger or a pain cry even. She was running down the sidewalk shrieking, so I jump out of my car and run to her and hold her.
“Gracie, what’s the matter? What happened?” I start to cry simply because I can see in her 6 year old body, brokenness. Something is eating her apart inside and I can’t do anything. In a painful, sobbing voice I hear her scream, “Why don’t the little ones belong to Him?”

I couldn’t answer her.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so

little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

She was torn apart because she knew the kids in the neighborhood didn’t belong to the Saviour. The kids who most people just want out of the road, the kids who people look over and wonder what their parents are thinking letting them play in the street.

Gracie has taught me more than I could ever explain about life and about G-d. The story above was a dream I had one night and woke up crying to. Children have such a precious heart; they have such a strong faith that when someone tells them something is they believe it. One day Gracie wanted to stay home and watch TV while everyone else was leaving… I told her that it wasn’t safe and she had to come with me because no one would be there to watch her. She told me G-d would be there to protect her.

How do you argue with that?

I told her that if she got hurt there would be no one to take her to the hospital. She said that if she got hurt G-d could heal her. Who am I to tell her she’s wrong? That the faith she has isn’t always true? (I didn’t leave her alone but I had a hard time convincing her that she just WANTED to come with me).

I want child like faith. I want to have passion for the little ones who don’t yet belong to Him. I want more G-d… 

Familiar Phrases

For your listening enjoyment while reading: No Longer Slaves

At Team Night this week I told G-d that I was done doing things for Him. I am done waking up early to do devotionals and I’m done with Leadership College. I’m done attending and serving at church for Him. I’m done striving to do what I can to make sure that when I’m 50 I’m still faithfully serving. Why?

Because this whole gig isn’t working for me.

So I sat. I didn’t tell Him that I was done in the context of ‘Stuff You, this is isn’t something I want to be apart of’ but, I sat there telling G-d I was done because it’s exhausting to try to work for grace. It actually accomplishes nothing. My personality type is a ‘doer’ I want to accomplish things and find an organized approach to make sure that no one sits in a pointless meeting longer than they ever have to.

I forget something so special when I live in fear that if I don’t wake up and read and write every morning that somehow I no longer have the Spirit actively with me. Or if I forgot about Him for a moment I maybe somehow would have a day where I wasn’t being used for anything worthwhile.

“You need to trust His ability to LEAD you more than your ability to follow Him.”

My faithfulness is no reflection of His.

Teamnight was all about songs, the ones we sing to connect to G-d, confess truth of who He is and who we are, and the song that G-d sings over us (Zep. 3:17). So I asked G-d if I could listen in. I wanted to know what G-d was singing over me. It blew my mind when I felt like He was responding with something already dear to my heart, “His banner over me is love”. I don’t know another person or thing on earth that knows what the melody of love is, but He does. He resonated that in my heart and it felt as if my heart responded to the familiar chorus. My mom used to sing a song to me ages ago with those lyrics (His Banner Over me Is Love – I could have found a better version… but these outfits! I also found it extremely appropriate that it was children singing)

Almost everything in my walk with G-d has something to do with Grace, my sister. As we sang No Longer Slaves and proclaimed “I am a child of G-d” over and over, I thought about what it truly means to be a child of someone. I don’t DO things for my parents to get them to love me, in fact I’m sure I’ve done things that would give them every right not to love me but they still do. I think about morning cuddles and that wonderful age of 2-4 years when you just run up to your parents and throw your hands above your head and wait to feel weightless. I’ve never been super emotional or sentimental but at no point in my life do I remember not just waiting for Gracie to throw her arms up towards me. It overwhelms you with love for these little squishy beings when they CHOOSE you. You feel cooler than the other people in the room when they throw a fit until YOU pick them up.

Guys, I shamelessly go on and on about my sister frequently because my heart actually has never understood more of G-d’s love than when I think about her. I legitimately ACHE when I think about how much I love her… and shoot, she’s not even my kid. But a long time ago I asked for something tangible from G-d to understand His love, He gave me grace… and He gave me Grace. And if I don’t even fully understand how much parents love their kids then this is just the beginning of G-d’s love… like the VERY VERY small and humble beginnings.

How great is His love?

“I am surrounded by the arms of a Father

I am surrounded by songs of deliverance”

At this point in the evening I might have started crying at the thought of my sister and the thought of me being G-d’s child, I couldn’t even process or express how much I loved her and then I got a nudge in my Spirit, “I love you more”. Again, my mom used to say this phrase to me (and still does via 9,000 miles of iMessaging). More than I love anything on earth, He loves me MORE (than I understand). G-d knows how to get my attention.

I love you more
I cannot fathom the depths

I sat after telling G-d I was done working for something I already had, and was just there, listening to this song I left up at the top for you all. The bridge starts to sing;

“You split the sea so I could walk right through it,

you drowned my fear in perfect love”

I stood, letting go of the fear that somehow if I didn’t DO something to get His attention I wouldn’t have it. I lifted my hands knowing that He couldn’t leave me there.

((He always picks me up.

((His grace is always enough.

((I am a child of G-d