As You Do – Think Back Friday

Posted on January 1, 2016 by lainamunoz

I sort of shoved #ThinkBackThursday and a new Friday post together… You know, because it’s New Years and I’m cliché.

1 January //

I’ve now lived through 25 of these and probably for the last 13 of them I’ve wondered where on earth time has gone. It seems that time has a preferred method of transportation that it enjoys, and it’s always the one you wish it wasn’t on. It grabs a Delta flight, a free miniature bottle of wine and sticks its feet up for the joyful moments. They go so fast that you hardly remember all of the details even when you’re trying. Without a shadow of a doubt I believe that it grieves with us in the hard times and it too finds it difficult to pull itself out of bed and move when we cry – making our sorrow seem even longer.
Misery loves company.

But, then you look back and realize there was 24 hours in each of those days and 7 days in your weeks and that you just wasted 1-4 hours of your today realizing that you’re still here. You still never know when moments to be remembered are happening and you never know when you will finally heal.

**But you have the moments, and you heal.**

I’m currently in Oklahoma for the holidays, which brings up loads of memories in the 17 years I spent around this town. It’s impossible not to remember the great, good, bad and regretful. And as odd as it can be to grow up and see that nothing is ever the same year to year, the obscurity of it is shadowed (for me) by remembering a few things:

My Good Friends are GOOD – I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for a handful of very, VERY good people in my life. They’ve believed in me, pushed me, prayed for me, let me cry, let me fail and still told me they loved me and that I can make it. Hometowns can sometimes bring a sting along with comfort when thinking about the ‘used to be’ and ‘could have been’ relationships, adventures and journeys; G-d has been in the redeeming business of reminding me that the people I have now are who need to be in my life NOW. He knows all things, He knows my heart and who builds it, He knows what’s coming for me and He has been blessing me more and more with like-minded lovelies who care about me.What and who HE allows in my life is more than enough.
He has ALWAYS been faithful – this has been so overwhelmingly in my thoughts this last year or so. I’ve always known it but G-d has connected this knowledge to my heartstrings and veins and has literally flooded my being. The knowing physically weighs on me and can often, easily and frequently bring me to tears. Guys, He cares so much and loves so deeply and IS SO FAITHFUL. And not just for me; this is for you and I’m sure if you take time to let the Saviour and comforter help you look back you’ll see it to.
((Please take the time to look back))
Discipline is hard, sacrifice is hard, they both suck and they’re both mandatory – reading and writing daily is a choice and no one will tell you to do it once you pass the age of 17. I’m a routine and schedule person and it’s extremely difficult for me to cram a devotional or blog into the end of my. Mornings are my zone and when I don’t allow myself that time I feel like a pretty crappy person. This one is really just a memo to self // Be An Adult.
Reading is very important – I am not an educational or approved resource to quote. While I’m overjoyed that you’ve read this blog or any of my other blogs I’m not the end all… heck, I’m not even good at ending blogs real good.

Find a book and learn something.

Art above by: Mindi Garland (That’s MY bloodline)
Title: “Jenine Races Down the Path Less Traveled Without Fear of the Future” (That’s my middle name)

Obsessive Compulsive Details

Posted on December 19, 2015 by lainamunoz

I recently painted a mug at one of those places where you paint a pottery item and they fire them for you to seal on your artwork. It’s a pretty nice looking mug. I’d show you but it’s also a Christmas present for someone so I can’t exactly post a picture on here because they just might read this.

In which case, they now know they are getting a mug for Christmas.

I used 9 colors for this one mug.

It had a load of details etched into the sides and even the handle, so I took my time and made it look as awesome as the person getting it for Christmas.

When I first started on painting I was excited to get to all the cool ideas I had for each groove on the cup but as 1 ½ hours passed and I was still on the final, very tedious steps to complete the cup I began to lose patience. I wondered if the effort I was putting in would be appreciated or if they’d even realize how difficult it was to keep my hand steady for as long as I did. I began to want the world to understand how careful I was with my process and I wanted recognition.

This all came out in the form of me telling my mom over and over how freaking cool the mug was.

I wonder sometimes if G-d wants us to just notice. I wonder if while He was painting the colors of the trees if He thought, “Maybe if they see how much effort I’m putting into this for them they’ll appreciate me a little bit more”. I don’t think G-d NEEDS our appreciation for all of His works, but I do think He wants to tell us something. I think He might be telling us the story of how it always works out for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purposes because HIS purposes have already been established and we get to step into this pre-blessed work of good. I think that in the details He might be reminding us that HE is faithful and doesn’t get impatient in completing a good work that began in you. I feel like in the details, if we notice we might see a beauty about creation that can inspire awe and wonder around the things that He does and the person that He is. I feel like maybe we could learn a thing or two about beauty.

I’m so thankful that the Creator isn’t as sidetracked as I am. I’m thankful that He IS in this for the long haul and never grows weary of the tedious tasks of correcting, comforting, reminding and loving us. He raises the sun everyday and spins the earth into seasons. He forms something out of nothing on the daily and allows the smallest of faiths to move mountains. He is a G-d of the details and I feel like when I focus myself and my mind and sometimes my camera I find Him there.

((He is beautiful and I am paying attention.

Jesus I will trust You / I know You never fail / I will trust You / the only thing I know/ is G-d You’re in control/ in every little detail You are close / I’ll never be alone / here in the unknown / the power of Your presence fills my soul

List This

Posted on December 4, 2015 by lainamunoz

Things I’ve discovered while doing a 100-day creative challenge:

1. I love waking up and asking G-d if I can create with Him

He is a forever and eternally THE CREATIVE G-d and this challenge to create something or play every day has opened my eyes to all the opportunities that we have to learn from the Author and Creator Himself and co-write with Him along this journey.

2. I am creative

I’ve noticed that it isn’t a matter of, “oh I need to do something creative today for the 100-day challenge” but more “Oh my goodness, I read today, wrote, went diving with sharks, colored a page in, packed a suitcase that shouldn’t have been able to hold all that it did”.

WE ARE CREATIVE BEINGS and it’s awesome. I’ve realized that by spending copious amounts of time with G-d that He has granted my request to be more like Him and less like me. Life is full of beautiful things and we do beautiful things all the time, sometimes it’s just a matter of slowing down enough to realize you’re actually close to who you want to be.

3. People are inspiring

Lets get some facts straight: I spend a lot more time on Instagram now BUT it’s typically to scroll through the #100daycreativechallenge tag and see all the wonderful things that people are up to. Some of my friends have some insanely creative minds and what they are producing sparks my imagination to make even more unique things. I’m (clearly) a firm believer in producing your work and sharing and inspiring others so this whole challenge has me frothing*.

Things I’ve discovered while being at Hillsong College:

A. Relationships Matter

I knew it would take a miracle for me to love and get along with 7 other women in one house. I prayed that we would all get along and G-d gave me even more than I prayed for. I have lived in a house full of challenging, encouraging women who have shaped me this last year. My friends at school and in my tutorial have been a vital part of me trusting, giving and breathing through tests and assessments and full on pout fests. They are all wonderful.

B. Miracles Happen

My house. Provision. Healing. G-d reminding me in the DAILY that He is real. Relationships restored. Salvation. Blessing on blessing. I’ve seen so much this year. I began writing in my planner the miracles I saw on the daily near the beginning of the year because I just wanted to remember. I wasn’t awesome at keeping up with it but as I look back on the year I can tell you countless things that I have seen and life-changing experiences I’ve been through that have absolutely changed the way I see prayer.

C. You Can’t Explain All You Go Through

I wish I could… I so wish I could. The best way I can explain life here is with the metaphor of a garden.We as students literally plant ourself inside of this fertile soil here all the while trusting that G-d the father is at work. And OH He is. He seems to take no time to root out any weeds in our lives and continuously water us and give us sunshine to grow. As quickly as a flower in our garden begins to brown, there is Jesus with some sharp garden tools to make sure that we take no extra time to produce a flower even more beautiful than before. Our rocks are removed so that we have nothing to hide in and nothing to stunt our growth.

But also. It’s so much fun.

Things I’m excited to eat in America:

. Chili’s

If you didn’t see that coming, I DON’T KNOW YOU.

.. Taco Bueno

Very few things divide the innocence of Owasso, OK like the Bueno vs. Bell debate.

… Anything that resembles holiday food

Cream Corn, Apple Pie, Stuffing, Cranberry Sauce, Soup, Holiday Little Debbie Snack Cakes… guys I’ll take anything.

What a weird season to have walked through, what a weird season to leave.

I can’t wait to get back.

*Frothing – if you’re frothing over something you’re really excited.

My One Word Blog

Posted on September 4, 2015 by lainamunoz

If you were only allowed to give the world one more thing what would you have to offer?

Today’s challenge is to come up with something that you can leave because you can’t take any of it with you.

I’ve rambled on several other times about the importance of words and what power they hold so I will keep this short – if you can humor me and just think for a minute of what you feel is the best thing you can leave then I’d love to hear about it. I had previously thought of leaving you (those who read this) with the challenge to write a paragraph blog on what you’ve learned this week and if you feel like you want to do that as well you are more than welcomed to. This though is your one word. What is most important to you that you couldn’t keep just for yourself?

My One Word Blog:

Leave a comment on Facebook or here on WordPress with your one word to leave the world.

In Anything I Ask Of You Please Know That I Have Faith In You

Posted on August 27, 2015 by lainamunoz

Writings from when I’m 18 are my favourite… they crack me up and convict me. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

Take this generation and make us rise.
G-d, burn a passion inside of us that will not be satisfied until we see you,
Until we see power, until we see the hurting come to be restored, until we see the weak given strength. G-d until we see you in ourselves. Let it be the uncontrollable need in our lives to see Your glory. To see you lifted high above OUR TEMPORARY PROBLEMS.
Let us place you as first in our lives and let your love be seen in all we do.

I am no longer satisfied
I can’t help but praise Him all of my life
I want to see you glorified

Be Lifted Up

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day about how Owasso doesn’t need to learn who Jesus is… They need to develop a raw, real relationship with the Creator. We live in the Bible belt of America! Everyone knows Jesus but, through their parents abusing them, through confusion and division in the church, through their ‘Christian’ friends inviting them to parties that they themselves don’t feel comfortable going to, their Jesus has been perverted and distorted to exactly what Satan had in mind.

Get up, G-d has called to you a higher standard of living!

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

Huh, Be HOLY, because I am holy
Not because you are worth it. Hum…. hope I don’t shatter anyone’s deep understanding of who they think they are, but then again, if it causes you to understand then fine, I’ll be the mouthy one.
YOU ARE TO BE HOLY BECAUSE G-D IS HOLY AND HE TOLD YOU TO.
You [ I ] don’t deserve the calling
You [ I ] don’t deserve the forgiveness
You [ I ] don’t deserve the love
You [ I ] don’t deserve the challenge

Why?

Because we all fail, we were born in a world with odds stacked against us, but I know that my G-d is big, I know that my G-d has given me all the power through the Holy Spirit and if He tells me to do something how am I supposed to ignore Him?
If you’re on board or not – G-d is moving, G-d has a generation of warriors ready to take the land promised to us and how dare you who know Him sit back and watch us carry out the commands of G-d. Join in, do something for the kingdom. Do something for your King. I’m done waiting, G-d, I want to see this change come to pass, I call an explosion of your love over your people and to flow THROUGH your people.

I call a Holy Reformation of your kids.
I call a Revival to take place in Owasso, in the schools, in our worship, in service to you and to the community, in our very hearts and beings. Make our hearts beat like yours. Let us take every opportunity to do good and not be surprised that it will be hard sometimes. But if we all panz’d out when it got hard than we would accomplish nothing. If you sent your son for us, and he went to the death for us, why can’t we follow him full out even through us being questioned?

In Joshua 1, G-d had already promised him and Moses land and it was finally time to take it.
But some of you guys still don’t feel ready. Guess what? It’s the breaking point, it’s time to decide fully who you are going to be.

“but all your fighting men, fully armed, must cross over ahead of your brothers. You are to help your brothers until the Lord gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land that the Lord your G-d is giving them.”

Some of you guys aren’t ready… But ALL FIGHTING MEN (and WOMEN) of G-d, we are told to continue and help those who need it until they too get rest. But be careful to realize where you are with G-d, all it takes is dedication. Getting out of bed an extra half hour early, PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GIRL FIGHTING TEARS IN THE HALL, Offering to pay for someone’s lunch because you know they can’t afford it, sharing G-d’s love the same way he showed it through Jesus walking among people long ago. The fighting men are ready. A time is coming very soon that G-d wants to use us all, but if you are not willing then I promise, we’ll carry you.

Prepare the way for the Lord to enter in. We must become a people who value righteousness again. Now, we can only stand back and hope to see Him move, or we can be the willing hands of a mighty, living God. Make your choice. Now is the time. But, as for me, I call down fire. God, rain fire.

I believe that God will raise the dead, and He will use these hands to do it. I believe that God will heal the sick. And He has sent me forth to say: “He alone is God. Prepare for His victory.”
-For Today, Elijah

Adventure Through They Journey

Posted on August 14, 2015 by lainamunoz

A little bit shorter of a post today, just processing through some thoughts I journaled out this last week… Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out what all of it means but so far I think it’s a good idea.

Enjoy!

I feel like you asked me if I’d journey with You. At first my thoughts were, ‘naturally, I’m saved – I’m doing this with You’. It’s funny how a word can bring back a full semester of thoughts on this subject. I sent the phrase, “Adventure with many, journey with few” to some close friends to gather thoughts on how they read that sentence. One of them nailed my thoughts on the head by saying ‘adventure SHOULD be done with anyone and everyone – random groups and impromptu trips, you can learn something from everyone, but JOURNEY – do the long haul and ups and downs with a few who you know how to support the “hard”. I thought for a second that you were inviting Yourself on my journey, which was surprising and honoring enough. But then I felt like you meant to be inviting me onto YOURS. To bear the grit and trials You’ve walked through. What an honor to serve with You

Lord, I’d love to journey with You

//oh, seasons//

“Adventure with many, journey with few”

There are loads of things I’ve felt impressed to think and write about lately and it’s been hard to sort out what to say when but this has weighed the heaviest on my heart.

I’ve had to learn over several seasons in my life how to journey with people. I have a few very close friends who I’d pick to do life with over a load of others and it isn’t because they’re even the most fun to be around. It’s because they push me, don’t let me whine and whinge, they don’t let me give up. (( they don’t let me go a Friday without posting ))

But standing in chapel this week (shameless “Go to chapel” plug) I felt like G-d brought this back up with me. He asked me to Journey with Him, which I don’t think I understand the weight of just yet. Honestly I don’t know if I ever will understand. We read scriptures telling us to follow him is to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow but what does that mean?

Journeying for me is becoming a non-optional. Not because its the easiest life ever but because I don’t actually know where else I’d go. I don’t know what else I’d do if it wasn’t what I’m doing now – loving Jesus, learning Jesus and telling others about how awesome He is. Sometimes the road sort of sucks and hurts and has a few spots where it feels like do or die. But at no point have I died yet so I suppose I’ll keep going.

Scrabit : Need

Posted on August 6, 2015 by lainamunoz

G-d has taken me on a beautiful journey of being healed of anxiety, sometimes I have my hiccups but then I remember what He did on the cross was enough for me then, now and for the rest of my life. Coming to Aussie from America was one of the smoothest transitions I’ve had in my life which surprised me. I’m a little upset to admit how shocked I was that I was actually ok. But I am. G-d has been with me every step and thats a really remarkable thing.

Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday from November 2014 just before I came.

Love you all

“Those days will come when you cannot articulate what the matter might be, but there IS a matter. I feel it resting on my heart and making me wonder. It’s irritating me, not as dramatic as a thorn in my flesh, but it’s still pretty obnoxious. So I’m left completely at a loss as to how to explain my heart condition to even You. And, all the more irritating is that You know what the matter is. You already know and You wont tell me. Why? I cannot say I appreciate it, but here I am. You know my heart better so I guess for lack of me knowing what to do – You can deal with me accordingly. Here I am. If You will, use me in the process.“

Well, I tried to go to sleep over an hour ago but this has been literally sitting on my heart for almost a week and my anxiety kicked in tonight so sleeping isn’t happening. This is just about all I can think about, so I’m not sure if that makes this a prayer request or just a download, but here it is.
Recently I was able to catch up with a friend about life. One of her questions for me was about Australia and if I was ready and had everything I needed. Now, I leave in two months… (actually less but it’s easier to say two months) – I have a lot of things to sell or put in storage or give away, I have a lot of people to say “Hasta Luego!” to, and I don’t have all the finances I need while I’m gone. But her question comforted me rather than sending me down panic lane. I simply responded with,

“No, I don’t have everything I need while I’m done but I have everything I need for now”

I am taken care of. I don’t have what I need for tomorrow because, guess what? It’s still today.

But I woke up and was in no need for today. I had enough food, I had enough sleep, I had no bills I couldn’t pay, I had laundry to do that I had clean water for. Now, while those resources are temporary and once I used them they were no longer good for the same purpose… I HAD what I needed. I have this great big habit of being a worrier and stressing out over the plans. I had ALWAYS been pretty bad about trusting that things will simply work out. I want to know when we are leaving, how long the trip will take, I want to leave earlier than I have to because if I don’t I know I’ll hit traffic – and then I will be late. I want to know what will happen when I arrive and where I need to be and even when I have all of that information I’m stressed thinking about what’s coming. This has gotten better in my late(r) age; I’m comforted knowing that I don’t have to have all the details. A long time ago G-d reminded me that my walk with Him needs to be a daily waking up and realizing that I need Him. Now, I’m positive that I’m not the only one who He has reminded about this but it stuck out like a sore thumb to me and if I don’t try to remember so often then some of you lucky ones are left with a mid-panic Laina rambling on about things that don’t need to be stressed about.

I am held in His hands and because of that my fear of failure, my anxiety of the journey, my weight of worry that sits on my chest all gets a lot smaller. I was overwhelmed with assurance when I realized, “No, my plan ISN’T going how I saw it play out” ((EVER)) But, when I woke today and got through the day (quite well I might add) because I’m still His and He loves me.

“I don’t have everything I need while I’m gone, but I have everything I need for now.”

I’ve been overwhelmed with the support I’ve seen so far in sharing my story, honestly I started a gofundme account and wasn’t sure I’d really get that far with it. But, every time someone simply reads my story I’m thankful to G-d because of what He has done with me. I’m so very much not even close to “The End” of my story but I’m in awe of what He has done in and with my heart. Thank you isn’t enough to each of you who have said a prayer over me in the last 2 years but it’s what I know how to say. Please know though, my prayer for you, whoever may be reading this, no matter when you decide or are bored enough to do so, is that I would be a small part of your story. I want to learn from you and grow with you. I want to see a group of people so free from hurt and fear that they begin to boldly live out love in the way they’ve been given love. Even I’ll admit I sound a bit cheesy but I mean it with my whole being.

I crave freedom because I’ve seen so many glimpses of what boldness feels like. I wouldn’t consider myself as someone who walks in boldness but G-d, how I want to be that person.

I remember being bold.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Way to go Paul and Timothy, you’re better than us. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do al this through him who gives me strength.” Mmm, context is such a beautiful thing. (Phil 4.11-13) It’s not just that I can throw that last verse around and do anything I need to because I have this supernatural strength to call on. But, I’m going to learn how to live in every situation and I’m going to accomplish this by a strength that is now my own. Boom, I don’t have to be enough.

May I learn how to LIVE in every situation, G-d, may I learn how to REST when anxiety creeps up over ridiculous things. I’ve had all I could ever need at every point in my life and I’m YOUR kid so I expect nothing less than to have exactly what I need. Nothing more.

I have a great thought process on packing for trips… Once I leave, I’m done. IF I don’t have it in my bag it clearly didn’t make a big enough impact for me to remember so obviously I can live without it. Lord, I’m not condoning my forgetfulness, but, if I find myself awake, and I don’t have something help me to realize it might NOT be a need. If I needed it, I’d likely have it. You’ve been so good to me and you know whats up more than I do anyway.

So, chill my heart out, its’ doing that thing again.

Shall We Dance?

Posted on July 17, 2015 by lainamunoz

Let’s begin todays post with the solid proven fact that: dancing is wonderful.

It is good for your heart and face. Try dancing without smiling, or at the very least laughing at how ridiculous you look. I’ve always been told I’m a natural at dancing (humble brag) – which I absolutely credit to the partners I’ve danced with. For New Years Eve 2014/2015 (seriously, which year do you write if its New Years Eve?) a group of us went swing dancing.

We learned the basics and were then let loose into this dance culture of being asked by anyone and everyone if we cared to dance (except Jason, who was mackin’ on ALL the older ladies). What amazed me is how well I could follow the seasoned dancers. And, not just because of my lightly latin’d blood but because it’s easy to follow good leaders.

It’s also easy to follow when you let go.

Dancing has a beautiful and unexplainable balance between structure and letting your body flow. Specifically swing dancing, the girls would have to hold their arms firm against the arm and shoulder of the men they were dancing with. Even in their resistance to keep form they were still leaning into the hold the men would have on their back to guide the direction and steps in which they would take.

Even in the resistance they were leaning in.

G-d has been speaking to me for a while about this thought of dancing – of joy. Before I left the US of A one of my friends spoke over me to a fear that I had of returning to the arms of G-d. He told me I was acting like the prodigal son, in that, I was walking back not only to G-d, but to His heart with a fear that the encounter would be confrontational… my friend reminded me that the encounter would be a dance – as if the moment when my heart was finally aligned with Christ it wouldn’t be this overwhelming, smothering hug but he saw me begin to dance perfectly in step with the Father and find the flow of structure and forward movements along with the beauty of being with a faithful, seasoned partner who I could just let go and follow.

I find swing dancing to be one of the most beautiful dances that the dancers can dance – but, I’m a sucker for dances that require two. It’s been a while that G-d has been inviting me by different means to dance with Him; to allow myself to learn His steps and trust that where HE guides me will be beautiful. I didn’t grow up dancing or really have any formal training but it IS something that I enjoy and I think G-d knows that. I think He knows what speaks to my heart because He formed my heart. He knows that a large part of me dancing with Him was full of my healing. It was full of me coming home.

I was recently introduced to a song and more importantly I was introduced to a story of healing. I watched this woman’s story as I was walking on a treadmill at the gym and began to cry. G-d reminded me of all the times He asked me to dance with Him while I was healing, little did I know that He was offering me the strength to receive joy, hope and peace. Her name was Amanda, she suffered with an illness that left her in a wheelchair and only in the house of G-d and in worship was she able to find herself strong enough to just praise. In her moments in church and in the presence of G-d she found healing and hope, she found her step and began to dance with the Father and what a beautiful thing her story is!

One of the things that this wonderful woman said that, “Dancing was everything that being bed bound wasn’t” – Dancing represented to her nothing that her sickness knew. Freedom, joy, love, a smile, strength, laughter and peace. Dancing with Christ is everything that hopelessness wasn’t. Dancing with the Father is everything that depression can never take away. Dancing and learning the steps of G-d is something that confusion can never take ahold of. Dancing with the Saviour is something that death can never challenge. Healing is found when we dance with G-d. In many more ways than one.

“Now hope is a much easier thing because I’ve seen G-d come through… because I know how faithful G-d is.”

It’s unreal how many times I’ve seen Jesus come through for me. It’s unfair how many times He has invited me to dance with Him and I’ve turned Him down. But, His forgiveness is sweet and His love is big.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FPUFx3EPw0 – The Story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSi3jEXU3Zg – The Song

Why I Want To Be A Writer

Posted on July 10, 2015 by lainamunoz

Writing has always been a way of processing for me, I get to think through whats going on with my life and download it honestly to my paper without too much harsh judgement (though I’m a pretty bad critic when I’m reading my own stuff). But there is a huge difference between writing and being a writer.

I’m still learning how to be a writer (and then the adventure is to be a GOOD WRITER) but some of the reasons I’m even trying is that:

1) I’m 24 – which is pretty much the peak of all wisdom and opinions. You have learned a lot by this age and have the boldness to share what you’ve learnt but lack the stupidity of when you were 18 and just didn’t know the appropriate times to share your wealth of wisdom. In reality though, I am probably the most aware of how much I have to wake up and tell G-d that I need Him because I don’t know what I’m doing without him. But I DO think we have pretty good opinions.

2) I’m going to be old some day – I was riding home on the bus from the city and saw this beautiful old woman in a dark blue coat sitting there. She had a bandage on the back of her hand and was carefully putting on her black leather gloves. She didn’t seem like she could be bothered with anything going on or the traffic that we were sitting in and all I could think about is if she was a writer. If she was some classy old woman who had loads of stories that she was just dying to share or if she didn’t think too often about leaving her history with the world that she was closer to leaving than myself. All I know is that I looked at her and saw some classy old lady who I desperately wished was a writer. So, instead I’m going to be a writer. And by the time I’m her age my goal is to write more books than Joyce Meyer 🙂 wishful thinking.

3) I love reading – leaders are readers. I have had many books shape the way I have seen Christianity, Christ, The Bible, Adventure, Love and the Warrior heart within us (see below for a list of books that I think are awesome). These books have molded me into a sharper thinker and a thankful human being. They’ve pushed me to grow and expand my way of thinking and brought me closer to the heartbeat of Jesus. I want to give the same feeling of finishing a book and being called to an adventure so I’m probably going to keep writing and praying that G-d does something with that.

4) It’s what I want to do – it’s pretty simple guys. I’ve wanted to write a book for a while. Gotta start somewhere.

But, I suppose finally it has to do with the fact that it’s who I was created to be. G-d knew from the beginning that I’d love words and books and I think through that He gave me a strong conviction with words. I like to keep silent unless I have something I need to say and I like to think through that something if I think I should really say it. The largest compliment my heart can receive is that I communicate well. And the biggest accomplishment I plan on achieving in the next three years is graduation college and signing my first printed book to give my parents for Christmas.

Find what you love to do. These were just my thoughts for the day.