Blessed

Obey: Journey and Heart

Posted on by lainamunoz

I think this one is hitting home for the last #ThinkBackThursday this season. It’s now been a year; 52 posts of old material that G-d used to once again locate me and challenge me. This blog was birthed out of obedience, and while I didn’t want to be THAT Christian-Hillsong girl who writes a blog about my journey… I am. And I LOVE it because it’s what G-d has put on my heart and in my hand to do. So dang it – I’m going to do it well. I’m going to do it out of obedience and trust and I’m going to do it out of self-reflection and self-location because I’m going to want these things written; I’m going to want these stories that I get to live with others retold because I have enough faith to believe that Jesus will turn up in the midst of them.

The biggest THANK YOU to those of who you have read my blog faithfully, inconsistently, never read it but always intended to and to those who’ve stumbled upon it now.

THANK YOU for reading… not because it’s my blog but because I’m honoured that you somehow might believe in my story. Thank you because your time is valuable and spending 5-10 minutes, twice a week to catch up with me means heaps to me. You are so treasured.

I have such love for you all.

5 November 2008-

“G-d, I’m listening, and I don’t know what to do-
I’m doing my best to listen to what you tell me to.
Putting actions with my words has become the hardest thing
When I cannot speak anymore, LORD, you’ve taught me how to sing.”

All I’m hearing lately is “OBEY”; Even though I have NO idea the outcome or the process that He will lead me though. Sunday night G-d surprised me and just told me to obey… it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt (thus far), but I did. I have no idea when He will mend what he’s asked of me or how many days it will last. But, I’m learning that it’s not about me anymore.

G-d has something amazing in store for those who seek them, and He’s leading me beside the still waters so that I can.

I watched “Everything Is Spiritual” by Rob Bell, with our leadership core on Sunday afternoon, and throughout all of it what really stuck out to me is “Sitting on top of the mountain”.

*G-d called Moses to Obey… Exodus 3.11-14 ((EDITED))
(a)
11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go ((Insert G-d’s resolution to a personal problem here))?”
12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have ((Fixed your problem the way I TOLD you to)), you will worship God on this mountain.”
13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go ((Oh, I dunno… OBEY, what then should I tell people?)), ‘The God of your fathers has sent me…’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am… ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”

(Actual Verses Cited below)

Something that I couldn’t get out of my head is the thought that all He’s asked us to do is obey. Just to sit with Him, hear Him out and obey the words He has given to us. Moses was instructed by G-d to go up Mount Sinai and meet Him there.

– (b) “The LORD descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain.”

Just to meet Him. Just to spend time with Him. Just to listen to Him.

I attend The University of Tulsa (Community College) ha… Ahem, anyway I have classes every Tuesday and Thursday from 8-9.20am, and then another class at 11am. I was given a book called “Practicing the Presence of God”, so I thought I would read it during break. There is a hallway at TCC that everyone refers to as the ‘breezeway’, because it is a hall of windows, and I suppose seeing the outside is just as good as being there nowadays? I sat in the breezeway staring out until a bench outside caught my eye. It was tucked away underneath two trees no taller than a one-story house and decently shaded, and still allowing enough light to keep whomever was underneath warm. I gave G-d a sarcastic look in my head and thought, “Why do you want me outside? I could just read in here and not have to move.” G-d has a funny way of returning my cheeky favors, so a little more clear and for no particular reason I get a nudge to get off my rear and go outside. I start down the breezeway when I realize that I’ll have to walk through the smoking area to get to my little picnic table that G-d wanted me at, and I begin to think “I don’t want to go through the smoking area, I hate the smell of smoke it’s bad for you.” As I make my way to the Library G-d pulls all the more hard telling me to go to table and reminding me that sometimes he takes you through something you don’t really want in order to get you alone with him.
I sat and read and didn’t really understand why I had to be there. But it’s not about me… G-d just told me to obey and I’m trying my hardest to do so.

(c) “Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.”

G-d, do you really think that of me? Am I really a treasured possession of YOURS just because I listen? That’s enough for me – it has to be enough for me.

So I’m stuck, at the top of the mountain waiting on the Lord to come find me. I can’t do this alone because I wasn’t created to be alone, and right now trusting in G-d is all I need to be leaning on.

Just some thoughts of a Follower of Christ trying to find whatever He needs of me.

“And I’ll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm”

Exodus 3.11-14 (a)
11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”

Exodus 19.20 (b)

Exodus 19.5 (c)

Bullet Point Update

Posted on by lainamunoz

  • I have an issue of collecting lots of ideas in my heart and wanting to write about all of them but struggling to clarify what I am meaning.
    • I have 3-4 pending ideas on posts any given week
    • I have one on my heart specifically that I’d love to share with you all but I don’t feel like I’ve focused and thought through the subject enough to be satisfied with my work.
    • I’m extremely passionate about a lot of things but sometimes I forget that I am until I begin to speak.
  • The semester is picking up a lot faster than I expected
    • Colour Conference 2016 is RIGHT around the corner
      • I have this sinking sort of understanding that I’m going to learn A LOT this year. I could sort of explain why but I don’t care to.
    • Easter is the Sunday after Colour. Yup.
    • Assessments are already due this coming week.
      • I’m already done with them 🙂
  • Second Year classes are blowing my mind
    • Worship Theology –
      • One of the greatest questions I’ve never been asked before, “When you pray, who do you tend to address first and then in what order do you address? (i.e. Father, G-d, Lord, Jesus, Abba, Holy Spirit, Daddy)
    • Old Testament – Psalms
      • I feel like it’s the bible half of a songwriting lecture
      • The Hebrew Poetry is gorgeous and somehow the beauty translated
      • It had to be G-d breathed
    • Tutorials – New people to learn and believe in
      • Everyone has, “a really good tutorial this semester”
        • That’s because our intake is amazing
      • I already love them all and can’t wait to do life with them this semester
      • Acts is leaning on my heart and I have a desire to see a grace-filled community in tutorial.
    • Chapels/Church (they aren’t the same thing)
      • Not the same thing BUT – there is something different going on this year
      • Chapels haven’t felt like this before. Everyone is engaged and passionately seeking something more.
      • Church feels more like family than ever, I don’t feel like it’s really a Sunday without serving with my team and picking on Paul for coffee.
    • Me
      • I’ve had random fatigue since coming to Australia again, it got better but I still felt a tad off.
      • My overthinking is hella annoying right now
      • I’m beside myself when I think about how blessed I am to be here, with these people and learning in this environment again.
        • #WeGETtodothis
      • I frequently have extremely weird dreams – EXTREMELY weird
      • I’m excited to refocus my passion and time to fit in writing a book this year. Jesus bless it.
      • I love you all

        I keep reading Philippians over and over in different versions and study Bibles because I can’t get over how full of thanks and blessing that book is.

The picture was brought to you today by my 2009 year old self. It was one of my favourite hair styles I had. But it hardly has anything to do with todays blog. Except that I like baking… that’s another point under the “Me” section I guess.

Love On Your Little Ones

Posted on by lainamunoz

Live your life with children, explore faith with them as well as the back yard. Love them innocently and fiercely because they get it. This #ThinkBackThursday brought to you by 5 years ago – Feb 2011
I can’t explain a lot of the feels I have in my heart for my sister. Sometimes one of my friends will bring her up because it changes my demeanor instantly. I wonder if G-d’s face changes when He thinks about us…
Be blessed, be new and thank you for having a look into the stories that make up my life.
Today was a day that Oklahoma decided to have good weather. I enjoy those. You could hear kids playing in the neighborhood as their parents called for them to come inside for washing up. I had a few friends over and for whatever reason I was parked behind them, so when it was time to say goodbye I had to move my car for them to get out. I pulled my car back and was about out of their way when I see my little sister running down the driveway crying. I’m a softie for her firstly, because she is my sister, but also because when something breaks her heart it usually breaks mine. This wasn’t a scared cry; this wasn’t a hunger or a pain cry even. She was running down the sidewalk shrieking, so I jump out of my car and run to her and hold her.
“Gracie, what’s the matter? What happened?” I start to cry simply because I can see in her 6 year old body, brokenness. Something is eating her apart inside and I can’t do anything. In a painful, sobbing voice I hear her scream, “Why don’t the little ones belong to Him?”

I couldn’t answer her.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so

little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

She was torn apart because she knew the kids in the neighborhood didn’t belong to the Saviour. The kids who most people just want out of the road, the kids who people look over and wonder what their parents are thinking letting them play in the street.

Gracie has taught me more than I could ever explain about life and about G-d. The story above was a dream I had one night and woke up crying to. Children have such a precious heart; they have such a strong faith that when someone tells them something is they believe it. One day Gracie wanted to stay home and watch TV while everyone else was leaving… I told her that it wasn’t safe and she had to come with me because no one would be there to watch her. She told me G-d would be there to protect her.

How do you argue with that?

I told her that if she got hurt there would be no one to take her to the hospital. She said that if she got hurt G-d could heal her. Who am I to tell her she’s wrong? That the faith she has isn’t always true? (I didn’t leave her alone but I had a hard time convincing her that she just WANTED to come with me).

I want child like faith. I want to have passion for the little ones who don’t yet belong to Him. I want more G-d… 

Dear Diary,

Posted on by lainamunoz

I suddenly have to ask myself questions I don’t want to hear. I’m sitting wondering if I’m good at loving people or if maybe I have no idea what love really looks like. I found out that I struggle to let the Lord just love me and through my non-educated assumptions I reckon it has brought some of the issues I have. I’ve been sitting with myself thinking about faithfulness and measuring myself up in uneven scales. Lord, teach me to just be again, teach me how to sit with you and breathe.

I am gross when I look at You.
I am a curse when I see Your blessings.
I am dark when I stand in Your light.
I am off key when the angels start singing.

And then I see the way You look at me…
And I see how deeply You care
You tell me that’s not how You see me
And you begin again to repair

I’m not actually sure if I’m GOOD at loving but I know that I just have to ask you to love me and You will, and You’ll change me.

Lord, please change me

Sometimes Our Regulars Pass Away…

Posted on by lainamunoz

((And Other Things You Probably Don’t Realize About Your Servers))

I didn’t really find it entirely appropriate to post this one while I was in Australia, because I have zero experience in food service there and I know everything is different. But I’m back in Oklahoma, USA for a while and around my old stomping grounds and meals so, please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday and learn a little something about our Good Ol’ American Servers.

  • About 75-80% of the demographic of any given (American) restaurant are mothers. They’re working to support someone else’s dreams. Bless accordingly
  • Some of your servers just suck, they should find new jobs that they love. But you’re still in charge of how many bills they don’t have to stress about.
  • Our regulars pass away. We go through divorces, we have sick kids at home, our dog just got hit by a car, we have a tummy ache. We have BAD days… You do too. Our job just requires we don’t show it or you get ‘bad service’ and servers make less money.
  • Some servers are just awesome. They are people with big hearts and huge smiles. They pay attention to more details as they balance 5-7 tables and 10-30 or even up to 40-something drink refills. Chips. Fries. Crying kids. Deathly allergies. And they carry heavy trays. Show gratitude.
  • You didn’t like your server? They probably didn’t like you as a guest. But your attitude isn’t reviewed and put on a survey after the meal is over. If patience isn’t your strong suit- or even something you know what is please stay home. We don’t like serving you either.
  • We are here to SERVE you. You are a guest in our home… We didn’t sign our names in blood declaring that we are your servant until we have paid back whatever you think we owe. Don’t treat them like dirt. Some of the greatest people I know serve tables.
  • That girl with the black polo and brown hair? Her name is Cecilia. She told you at the beginning of the meal. That other girl with the black polo and brown hair? Her name is Mary Beth. You haven’t met her she was just dropping off your food. They aren’t the same people.
  • Servers are by no means uneducated and stuck in that job because they couldn’t find better. A LOT of servers I know are working their way through high school, college and even masters degrees and still working 25+ hours a week. Some people are literally addicted to bringing you silverware, smiling, and saying, “Welcome to _______! My name is ______ I’ll be doing my best to serve you today. Can I start you off with the most expensive drink on the menu and an appetizer that I won’t have to refill again and again?” (Paraphrased). They are good at what they do and they like it. And they’re smart.

A large portion of you won’t care about this splurb. And that’s ok. I’m really just ranting to my voice text and thinking as I drive my little self to Pryor, OK.

I’m blessed to know all the people that I do. I have been in food 8 1/2 years and this might just be a rant but you didn’t have to read it so get over it. Just thinking about some of these incredible people and some funny things I’ve learned over the years.

Y’all have a good day.

I GET to work now.

Dear Children,

Posted on by lainamunoz

#ThinkBackThursday… jumping back to New Years 2009 which would have just made me 19. I remember thinking how blessed I was to have the authority of Jesus speaking in my defense for all of the sins I had, have, and possibly will commit. What a beautiful thing that is. So, I suppose since it’s Thanksgiving in the USA I’ll take this time to say:

Thank You, G-d.

“ I write this to you so that you will not sin . But if anybody does sin (which I know you do, and will) we have one who speaks to the Father IN OUR DEFENSE — Jesus Christ, the Righteous (Right Living) One.”

G-d, I’ll never understand why on earth you love us so. You KNEW we would be a wicked and sinful man, that we would make horrible decisions on our own, that we would repent only to forget where we came from and have to get on our knees again. And yet, you let your only son come and be our voice of defense. We don’t deserve this… In any way, shape, or form.

“HE IS the atoning sacrifice for OUR SINS(?), and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”

(?) It’s not fair that YOU, YHVH, should have to take all of my sins. But I know G-d, that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. The only thing I could think to do is lighten my burden  on Your Heart by living as purely as I can for you.

“We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, G-d’s love is truly made complete in him . This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.”

((G-d I want to KNOW you. Completely.

The New Year always reminds me to look back on the past year and reflect on all that has happened. It just so happens that I was reading 1 John about the PURE, AMAZING, and HOLY LOVE of G-d. The New Year is a chance to start again, to read so that I might not sin, and when I do… to come before the broken lamb of G-d and repent. Not because I want a clean slate before I go back into the world, but so that I might seek His heart and find what exactly His plan for me is. I don’t want even the smallest desire to continue a mundane life stuck here in the earthly realm of things.

I have a very big G-d, Oh! And He’s ALWAYS by my side

1 John 2.1-6 (NIV)
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Many Thanks! Sincerely, Jane and Michael Banks

Posted on by lainamunoz

People Appreciation Post

Thank you is all I have to give but I feel like it is an unlimited resource (or that it SHOULD be). I’ve seen immense acts of service in my life and the only thing I can do is say thank you.

Thank you to my parents who I wouldn’t be here without. I wouldn’t be WHO I AM without you both and I’m unbelievably blessed and thankful that you are both married to each other. Your marriage and communication skills entertain me (in the best way). Thank you to my brother who shows me constantly what it is to have a friend that will always be there. You protect me often and correct me even more. You’re one of the few I trust to call me out and even when you can’t stand me I know you’ll stand by me and I know that you love me.

Thank you to Gracie who has shown me and continues to show me how big love can really be; who has challenged my view of G-d more times than she will likely realize until she has children of her own.

I know you aren’t my baby.

But you’re my baby.

Get over it.

Thank you to anyone who has financially blessed me in coming and staying in Australia. Truly your gifts have changed the very structure and reception of my heart. You’ve not only let me see G-d’s hand out working but you’ve placed so much more weight into how I view myself.

There are no words to thank the people who believe in you.

It gives you super-powers.

To Katie, I’ve never had someone stick as fiercely or for as long as you. Your opinions and convictions and joy have shaped a large portion of my brain and heart and doing life with you is always painfully funny. Our seasons and locations don’t always align but currently we both live in Australia and that’s pretty cool. I actually have no idea what life will look like with us in the same country again but I’m already too excited to articulate. You deserve a better, wiser, more fashionable friend – but you got me. Thanks for keeping me in check and asking the hard questions.

(Shout out for being my gym buddy again and lookin’ HAWT – you get to be the feature pic today!)

My housemates, I can’t clump you guys together because you are ALL so different but you’ve all shown me so much this last 8 months on how to live with community that you can’t escape. (It’s a good thing). You’ve all shown me how to give and receive when I need. You’ve given me a space to create in and the challenge to do so. You’ve allowed me to cry and dance and encouraged me when I felt like I wasn’t in the right place.

You’ve all taught me the benefits of keeping butter around for impromptu brownie baking so that we might all stand in the kitchen and talk about boys and how much we need to work out. I wouldn’t be the same person without you girls.

And to way too many friends here in tutorial and classes and leaders that I have – I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) to live a little more openly. I’ve been given an opportunity to rely on you all and live without a guard and allow this process to happen. I’ve been trusted with more than I feel I can accomplish and yet also the encouragement that I can.

In the words of Kid President “Things We Should Say More Often”:

THANK YOU!

(ref. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5yCOSHeYn4 )

((I want to meet this kid… #LifeGoals))

I wish you all understand the heart behind what I write and why, I actually ache sometimes to get my point across. I wish you all understand the awe I have over what I’ve been blessed to do and who I’ve been blessed to love. I am so thankful for the beautiful life that I have (even when it isn’t actually all that beautiful) and it wouldn’t be fair to allow you all to read these every week (or every month) ((or once a year)) without telling you all how much it really means to me that you do.

Concluding thoughts… Maybe say ‘thank you’ to someone where it’s overdue or maybe where it is right on time.

www.gofundme.com/storytimewithlaina

If you will pray for me or feel it in your heart to give or maybe you want to pass the link along.
All I have is thanks but I pray that will always be enough.