I was thinking this morning about how doing #ThinkBackThursday is getting more challenging the longer I do it. It’s weird – I’ve used the majority of my old posts from Facebook (be my friend! If you mention my blog you get a 3% discount on being my friend!) and I was running out of material. I was about to start creeping through my 10 year old journal but, no one REALLY wants to read who I was crushing on at 14.

Lo and behold, I found a post from October 2010 that I don’t recall ever stumbling over in this last year. And wouldn’t you know it… it’s in perfect timing with what I NEEDED to hear this week.

I write for me. I publish for accountability. I pray that somehow in the middle it might be the encouragement, challenge, blessing or honesty you need. I truly could never say ‘thank you’ enough if you pray for, support me or have been apart of reading my stories. Please enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

Thursday we had a worship night at church and all was going well until Jesse and I here a loud pop in the monitors in front of us. Jesse was roughly 4 feet away from me so I casually and in the full attitude of worship lean over and ask if he can hear Kevin anymore or the piano.

“No”

wonderful.

You see, when we cannot hear Kevin that’s a bad thing. While I have attempted to train myself to just know what key we’re in and sing it in tune the whole way- there is still comfort in being able to hear the piano and KNOW you’re in the same key.

I couldn’t get the attention of our wonderful sound man Steve (thanks for the photo Steven B.) without making a scene so I felt pretty stuck, and then suddenly, the monitor popped back on.

This actually was wonderful.

Unfortunately, our sound system didn’t like leaving people feeling happy and fuzzy so again, the sound went out. I wasn’t sure what to do, there wasn’t much I could do, so instead I just prayed. If I remember correctly it was something like, “G-d, this might be a silly request but… I don’t want to create a distraction with not being able to hear correctly so if at all possible could You somehow make the monitor start working? I mean, I’ll still love You and do my best either way… it’d just be nice”

I felt in that moment like He was legitimately asking me if I’d be surprised if He did, He reminded me of the scripture in James 1.6-7 about coming to G-d with our requests, “Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way…” I felt like He was asking me if I was going to truly believe that He could; if I was going to believe that He would answer something so – in my mind – trivial. In an honest answer back to G-d I said, “I’m not sure.” I couldn’t tell Him that I w o u l d n ’ t be surprised but I remember thinking, “G-d, I don’t honestly know if I will be surprised, I just know that You can”.

((Before I completed my thought the monitor came back on. I smiled.

I don’t know what it was in my heart that shifted to where I just decided to believe. I still don’t understand why I can’t live there constantly. Where I ask G-d without doubt and know that He’ll answer if it’s His will. I’m ok admitting that in my almost 20-year-old mind I still struggle with trying to figure out why it seems G-d answers some prayers right away and on some He waits. All I know is to trust that His word and promise to me are true. And that I must be patient in not understanding because HE knows whats up.

I’m not perfect. I don’t have everything figured out. I’m learning. I’m accepting when I can’t do things alone. I’m committed to the only thing that has never let me down.

I’m His and that’s all I need.

What’s It To You?

Posted on August 28, 2015 by lainamunoz

Lately in college life and in my own thinky-thoughts we’ve gathered around the ‘D’ word;

The Topic of Discipline.

In class with Aran Puddle this last week we broke into the importance of keeping an organized and ordered life (and not using the ‘creative excuse’ of being built a certain way and unable to participate in such nonsense). The uncomfortable facts of growing up and doing ministry is that a portion of those you study ministry with will have nothing to do with Jesus by the time you’re finished learning about Him. At first this was a massive concern for me because I the only thing I could reckon was that this was a random school yard pick of who would make it and who would decide they can and will do whatever comes there way. Then the longer I’m in and around this I’m finding it’s absolutely the opposite; it isn’t a school yard pick of who will stay but rather a choice of nothing but the individual deciding to pick the path that will keep them.

This comes from the discipline of reading the Word.

There is no magic pill. It is waking up and spending time with G-d, being in His word, and asking the Spirit to reveal what it means to you. I wonder sometimes if we treat our time reading as an afterthought instead of a need. I know for myself, sometimes I wake up and have little desire to get myself quiet and focused but then I realize that in daily time and the little progressions and the getting into the Word even when it may feel like I am learning little to nothing is what is going to ultimately change and keep me. No time with G-d returns void and for that I’m so thankful. I don’t have to work up my emotions or overthink in my Jesus time, I can simply be hanging out with Him and listening or just enjoying the fact that He is there.

I get really frustrated when I spend a few days in the same area of my Bible and realize I’m not catching anything that it’s putting down and then I remember a few things:

1) What I’m doing now is setting me up for the future I want of being an old 75 year old grandma who the entire family knows that I know the Lord.

2) “I can plod. I can persevere in any definite pursuit. To this I owe everything.” – William Carey, I can continue. I can do the little by little so I really need to stop beating myself up for the days I don’t get it. I know that the next day I’ll be there again ready to try.

((I’m not ever trying to be better than you, I’m trying to be better than the day before.))

But, this all makes me wonder, how do I really treat the Word of G-d? Is it negotiable in my life or is it the very lifeblood I’m leaning on to make it through the day? Do I hide it in my heart and meditate on it? Or do I let it sit on the side of the road getting destroyed in the storm?

While walking to the gym the other day I saw just that, a children’s bible, page by colorful page every few yards on the ground as I went along the road. I have a bit of an imaginative brain so I naturally write stories in my head of things and people that I see so I couldn’t help but wonder if the child ever had a chance to read their bible before they misplaced it. I wonder if it was left outside on purpose or if the parent tried to get rid of it? I wonder if it was a gift for someone hoping it would bring them a little closer to the savior. My brain always reels but the simple fact is that the bible I saw despite how it got there was simply not cared for. We see that as Christians and think, ‘huh that’s a shame’ but are we any better with our bibles sitting on the coffee table collecting dust? I don’t want to leave this. I don’t want to be one of the students who graduate and forget all they know about the body of Christ. I want to be solidly following and anchored into this spot. I was reading about anchors in preparation for this, I was reminded of our over quoted verse in Hebrews about hope being the anchor for the soul, but I’m not sure if I understand the context of that scripture and if it even really relates to Bible reading… So I’ll leave that verse there and instead tell you what I learned about anchors.

Anchors are the connections that boats or watercraft rely on so that they can stay in one spot through wind, current, or storm. Anchors can be temporary or permanent. (oh – that’s awful)

While I’m not sure if that verse is relevant to this I do still agree that our relationship with G-d is absolutely our anchor in the storms of life. The terrifying part, back to the people you know now who love G-d who will slowly lose interest is that there ARE temporary and permanent anchors… Yeah, they might be solid now but they are using the correct anchor. Using Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday chapel as the anchor will only last the week; it’s temporary. Using Sunday services and mid-week services as an anchor will only last temporarily. It won’t hold. Of permanent anchors Wikipedia says – “These are used where the vessel is permanently or semi-permanently sited, for example in the case of light vessels or channel marker buoys. The anchor needs to hold the vessel in all weathers, including the most severe storm, but needs to be lifted only occasionally, at most – for example, only if the vessel is to be towed into port for maintenance. An alternative to using an anchor under these circumstances, especially if the anchor need never be lifted at all, may be to use a pile driver into the seabed.”

What anchor are you chucking out right now? Are you in this for the long haul only to be lifted for repair? And when you do need repair are you letting Jesus handle it? Dig deeper in your relationship with the Father and make yourself immovable you have things to learn and a position you need to stand it.

So what’s the Bible to you?

Super reliable scholarly articles with information that I used:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchor

The Bible

The One Beautifully Broken

Posted on July 30, 2015 by lainamunoz

This scripture has been very much on my heart and mind this week. I have been in Acts and sharing with my housemate what I remembered writing around this (so naturally I found my writing from 2010 to post this week). G-d reminds me daily to be interruptible in my routine, even when I’m doing what I’m ‘supposed to’.

So I suppose you could say this is also what I’m currently (re)learning. Enjoy this #ThinkBackThursday

One day Peter and John were going to the temple to pray.

One day Jesus was traveling to be about His father’s business.

One day I was weak and in need of healing.

The cripple was placed in the same spot by the same gate to beg. That’s all he could do was ask of others to cater to his needs. He was to the point of not being able to help himself – the man couldn’t walk. His ankles were weak. He asked for money. Peter and John looked at him “Look at us!” Peter said –

G-d, you have my attention – I’m weak and I’m put in the same place everyday to wait on others to give to me. Because I am weak, because I have nothing more I can do. – I believe the LORD of all creation asks us to look His way when we’re looking for help – G-d let my attention be on you.

The man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. I don’t believe he did this rudely or unwillingly… What are you expecting from G-d when He demands YOUR attention? ARE you expecting something from G-d when He calls you to attention?

Peter said… I have no money (even if he did I’m not sure he’d offer it to the cripple) “In the name of Jesus Christ” –

In the power of the Lamb
In the authority of the King
In the ability of the almighty

WALK

((G-d where are You trying to speak life into me?

Peter took him by the hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. – He began to walk.
Lord, what is it in me that you want to strengthen? In an INSTANT the man’s life was changed. In a second he was restored. Right away he was helped up and made STRONG to walk.

G-d you offer strength to your kids and many of us are crippled. Waiting by the gate paying no mind even to people willing to help. G-d if you’re trying to get our attention let us focus onYOU.

YOU tell us to rise
YOU cause us to walk
YOU give us full strength

G-d let us listen.

Acts 3:1-10

1″One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. ²Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. ³When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. ⁴Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” ⁵So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

⁶Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” ⁷Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. ⁸He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. ⁹When all the people saw him walking and praising God, ¹⁰they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

What I Didn’t Mean To Learn

Posted on July 24, 2015 by lainamunoz

Random comforting verse of the week: John 21:25 (NIV)

“Jesus did (many) other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”

I was reading Acts this last week and when I had first started and was getting into the meat of the first two chapters I found myself looking back through the verses a few times. One of the last times I came back to the beginning of Acts I had a great revelation, it’s just that the revelation wasn’t on what I was actually reading. The verse previous caught my attention from earlier in my life when I felt the need to mark underneath these words with black ink.

We find this verse at the very end of John, after he had written about all that Jesus had done in His lifetime here on earth. After the birth and journey to protect the newborn King, after the unaccounted years of being a preteen and a teenager. ((I wonder if Jesus found any girls attractive growing up? Honestly, I bet He found everyone attractive growing up, He didn’t see people when He looked at people. I have to assume He saw the image of G-d.)) We find this verse after Jesus’ adventures in carpentry and all of His time in the temple learning the Holy Scriptures. We find it after He calls the disciples and travels with them. After He feeds the crowds, heals the sick, brings the dead back to life, casts demons out, turns water into wine, sees the blind receive their sight (pun intended), the leper’s healed and restored, people comforted, women given their dignity back and many others impacted by love. We read this verse after the betrayal by one of Jesus’ companions, after He was beaten and at no point cursed those who spit on Him. We read this after He was handed over to be crucified and after He had passed away.

After He rose again, after He sent us out.

AFTER all of these things and many more it tells us that Jesus accomplished so much that if every one of them were written down we wouldn’t have room for the books of His goodness and faithfulness on this earth.

It really got me thinking, if I spent my life just writing about what He has done for ME I wouldn’t have room on the Earth to brag enough. My blog posts would be so long my mom might not even read them. The internet would break.

But, that’s slowly becoming all that I want to do. Man, if I could just sit with people and tell of His faithfulness… if I limited my story to JUST HIS FAITHFULNESS we’d still be here all day. If I spoke of nothing but His grace I would run out of breath before I got to the depth. If I only told you about His love for me you’d be as heartbroken as I am over what I’ve been given.

I suppose that’s where they come up with songs like, “I could sing of Your love forever”. Or maybe that’s how the angels and elders in heaven never could ever get sick of singing “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord G-d Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come” (Revelation 4:8 KJV) I lately have been dreaming of the day that I get to sit before the throne and sing with them. I wonder what melody they’re singing. I wonder if everyone sings the same thing or if its a compilation of everyones individual songs. I still think whatever it is, that it’s beautiful.

This verse – along with peaking my wonder – gives me such a comfort in knowing that I can do my best for my entire life and it still won’t be enough, nor will it be too much. I can’t exhaust the name or holiness of Christ. I can’t speak or write or sing enough and even when I have filled my lifetime doing, so I can still do more. This scripture was just talking about Jesus’ life on earth, and now we have 2000+ years more of the impact that He left and what it has done for each of us. I don’t have to be weary in wondering what I will continue to write about. There is no limit to His goodness and for that I literally am eternally going to thank Him.

((These thirty-three words have just done me in this week. Christ is eternally good. Remember that.

Me, Myself, Martha and Mary

Posted on June 26, 2015 by lainamunoz

Real Talk

It’s always Real Talk

I swear I re-write these like a billion times.

I have such a Martha heart sometimes. I don’t believe by any means that we are saved by works, or by what we accomplish but I sure keep myself busy instead of sitting at the Fathers feet sometimes. I always think it’s a novel idea to sit and listen but then struggle with feeling lazy. It’s one of the many mindset changes I’ve been praying for this semester in school… To not have the attitude of Martha who was upset when her sister wasn’t just as busy ‘doing’ as she was. I don’t want to live distracted. I couldn’t imagine that getting to the end of your life could be worse than not even realizing you didn’t live because you were busy being distracted.

I want to worship and commune with Jesus – I’m just highly distractible and move around way too much and phone way too much and mindlessly interwebs way too much.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. **She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”**

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

I had a day at home over this week and realized how much time I had to just sit with Jesus, and I was really excited about it. I thought to myself, “dang, I can get so much reading and writing and revelating (not a real word) done today! How awesome will that be?!” and then I cleaned the kitchen, and my room, and vacuumed and watched YouTube. We all get busy either from jobs or from life but we don’t all have to get cluttered. You know, the unnecessary amounts of things that we do that aren’t entirely productive. I’ve always been like that though, too busy to think clearly. It’s slowing down and breathing that I’m not good at.

Hillsong Conferences’ theme is “Speak: We’re Listening” which couldn’t be more seasonal for me. So naturally I’m expecting a lot. But a large part of this for me is going to be learning how to sit at Jesus’ feet and take in and listen to what he is saying. I think it’s really easy to get distracted with the preparations and at that, the things that really do HAVE to get done. But what is better? What is needed?

Just one thing.

Mary chose what was better. There is nothing else. There is no time more valuably and costly spent than time with Jesus. Not only that, but Jesus told Martha that it wouldn’t be taken away from her. All the time she used wasn’t wasted and it wasn’t going to be removed. It wasn’t a lack in her life but it was the best decision she could have made. Time with G-d can’t come back void. I believe I’ve written about that before or if I haven’t now I have. If you’ve had a RealTalkTuesday with me lately I’m sure I’ve preached that to you. It’s something I absolutely need to hold onto right now. Even when I don’t see or feel the change I need to believe it.

Story Time With Laina

Bible

Sucky Sound Systems, Surprising Stories, and Skepticism

G-d is actually beautiful.